Bro Things

batbrothers

Jasons 🫶

Bernard, upper middle class, runs in mainly civilian circles: do you believe in the Illuminati?

Tim, CEO of a multibillion dollar company, former member of the League of Assassins, at least two brothers who’ve joined the Court of Owls, personally knows Big Brother (Oracle and Cyborg), runs an independent paramilitary group that can canonically take over a country, regularly obstructs justice and chain of evidence to get people arrested:

Tim: no

Friendly reminder that Wolverine dated Hercules

X-men Xtreme (2013)

Fucked up, doomed by the narrative, pathetic meow meow white man who has an incorrigible proficiency for violence, self-loathing, self-esteem issues, trauma arcs focused on the loss of a loved one, cringe fail vengeance era, believes he’s not made for love, warmth, or redemption, ends up being adopted by a bunch of extroverts whom he’d die for, has an incredibly terrifying daughter who could end him in a blink, and a super powerful god-like sunshine spouse who adores him:

What i assume the Batfamilys music taste is with little to no explanation

Bruce: only classical stuff on vinyl but could talk about other music because of his kids

Dick: Taylor Swift, Queen, ABBA, Chandeliers by Sia, Miley Cyrus, Charli XCX (he's got VARIETY okay)

Cass: mitski, laufey, occasionally lana Del rey, mozart, vitamin string quartet, ludovico einaudi, olafur arnalds (mostly instrumentals/classical music because she can get sick of words)

Jason: listens to Folklore and Evermore only, Gracie Abrams, Hozier, tv girl, Dominic fike, Florence and the machine, Hans zimmer, john williams (he likes feeling like he's in a movie, so any soundtrack music)

Tim: MCR, casual eminem listener, nirvana, linkin park, evernescence, three days grace, (emo and underground artists who he gatekeeps)

Steph: charli xcx, taylor swift, olivia rodrigo, sabrina carpenter, billie eilish, Chappell roan, dua lipa, 5sos, one direction, (anything/anyone she can fangirl to)

Damian: doesn't listen to music because it's "a waste of time" (he picks up random songs from his siblings and has a secret spotify account)

Alfred: UK rap

ms. stoll the woman that you are

Hold on

Travis and Connor stoll arent twins

So what the fuck does their mother do to make Hermes come (poor choice of words) twice?

Like that woman has to be either the worlds best mail woman or a thief.

Also, I'm sorry but these boys for some reason have my brain in a chokehold, and I'm working on an angsty oneshot for Travis rn.

Bruce: I'd think I would know if Jason was bi

Dick: Like you knew with me?

Tim: Like you knew with me AFTER I kissed Kon on the cheek?

Cass: Like you knew with me when Steph and I started holding hands?

Damian: Father, you may be a detective, but you are oblivious to our personal lives.

Tim: I second that.

Cass: I'm so serious, didn't the black nails gave it away? I could've sworn you walked in on me and Jason doing our nails.

Damian: I thought his two whole boyfriends gave it away.

Bruce: ...

Bruce: Okay, I get it, don't rub it in.

Alfred: Everyone knew, Master Bruce, Jason announced it at the family dinner...two months ago.

logan is the best dad ever, you can't change my mind

Logan being a father because my brain will physically melt if I don’t talk about him:

— Hates pop music; He puts up with it when Bobby blasts it at full volume in his car because he’s a weak worm of a man for the kid’s puppy eyes.

— Realized he was humming “California Girls” in the middle of a supermarket and had a silent panic attack in the dairy aisle.

— Kitty and Jubilee definetly watch trash vampire/werewolf tv shows and Logan “subtly” watches with them. Takes about 10 walks through the living room. Stands next to the couch with his arms crossed like a scarecrow. “I’m just grabbing something from the kitchen.”

— Is either super chill about everything or extremely unhinged. No in between. “Hey I’m gonna hunt down and fight Sabertooth because Jubilee dared me to”

“Have fun. Be home at 9.”

“Also,,, Ive been thinking of getting Tinder—“

“Are you fucking insane.”

— Logan is smart, okay? He is. It’s just that teachers have a TALENT for making parents completely confused with their math. He’s been staring at Laura’s paper for 20 minutes trying to recognize this formula. Nothing.

— “They did NOT have this when I was a kid.” “Yeah, we kinda progressed from sticks and rocks, Lo.” “Shut up, smartass! This is ridiculous! MATH IS MATH!”

— The kids texting Logan: [literally the most unhinged thing you’ve ever read in your life]

— Logan: 👍

— He FEELS when one of them needs a nap. He’ll pretend to sleep on the couch (Logan never, ever sleeps in open spaces, not if he can help it, not if he can’t trust.) and Laura will burrow under his hoodie or shirt like a baby cat.

— Bobby likes to simply jump on him. Especially from behind, for piggyback rides. He has no idea why Scott always looked so flabbergasted and surprised. And slightly afraid.

— Jubilee won’t admit it, but, she likes holding his hand when they’re walking down the street. Even if he always fixes her collar and tells her to straighten her shrimp posture.

— kitty falling asleep on Logan’s shoulder on the jet is something that can be so personal. Logan who absolutely hates flying but will shut up and let his half pint nap on him all she wants :((

i like to think jason uses his scars for his friends/family advantages and not even in a cool guy way, just in a lame way to get the other robins and vigilantes to think twice about their actions

——————

dicks kid: what happened to your face uncle jayjay

jason: i didn’t eat my vegetables

——————

Bruce: i need Damian to start listening to me, he’s getting to age of rebellion

Jason: i got you

[later]

Bruce: did you seriously tell Damian I fed you to killer croc when you were little and that’s why you ended up with your scars?

Jason: is he listening?

Bruce:

Jason: your welcome

——————

this could work with all the batfamily members actually

[when Duke was first starting to be signal]

Nightwing: oh don’t even get me started about the one i have on my upper bicep because i didn’t follow orders and got ran over by the riddler

Signal: ???

Red Robin: oh and i lost my spleen because i decided to fight assassins by myself

Nightwing: Tim what

Red Robin: !