I Need You.

i’m so totally normal about the fact that aziraphale’s last (known) deliberate foray into the queer community was when he learned the gavotte at the fictionalized hundred guineas club (!!!) in the 1800s and now in the 2020s he’s like “grindr? what’s that?”

many are talking about his repression which is very valid… and yet the thing to me that stands out about aziraphale is that he’s actually… incredibly stable in his identity and that identity IS incredibly queer. queer by the standards of heaven AND by human standards as well

metatron describes his “de facto partnership” with crowley as “irregular.” and in fact aziraphale in his entirety is irregular. he likes and makes it his business not only to understand but to be a connoisseur of all manner of things angels aren’t supposed to even remotely care about. food. music. books. theatre. sleight of hand. and more.

it’s the sort of behavior that would’ve gotten him othered, treated as a bit odd, in heaven even if he hadn’t chosen to consort all across the earth with a literal demon. and it IS treated that way - the fact is aziraphale even as an angel has got proclivities that set him apart from the rest of the host (even after offering him the highest position in heaven, metatron still acts deeply dismissive of him… like aziraphale’s bookshop is merely a quaint little hobby of his that can be easily transferred to another custodian, and not a literal extension of who aziraphale has become, full of his tartan and unique bibles and special vintages of wine and the books arranged in a very specific way)

so. aziraphale is a queer angel but of course he’s also queer to other humans. but in such a way that… he had his realization a LONG time ago, and put the matter very much to rest after that. aziraphale is perpetually something like several centuries behind schedule. he owns an ancient computer that probably continues to run windows 98 simply because aziraphale’s decided it should. he wears the same waistcoat and coat for generations because he simply likes them precisely the way they are and sees no reason to change them. but the idea that he doesn’t know how he comes across to others - of course he does. he knows he looks like your prim and proper grandfather and he prefers it that way

aziraphale looked around at humans in the 1880s and said: ah yes. this is where i fit. and promptly ensconced himself in that queer subculture. learned the gavotte. read his austen. loved crowley from afar. aziraphale is fiercely and vibrantly queer. just with the sort of assurance of someone who lives with his lover in a commonlaw marriage for decades and then shows up at city hall for the certificate once society decides it’s ‘allowed.’ like… he hasn’t had any need to know what grindr is because aziraphale’s ‘scene’ was a century and a half ago and it defined romance for him too.

but my favorite thing about aziraphale is how much of him is about appearances versus the truth. he can lie straight to angels’ faces and sleep at night. he knows he comes off soft but he once wielded a flaming sword. he dissembles helplessness but he’s far from it and he knows precisely how it makes others treat him. and at the core of aziraphale is rigidity, inflexibility of ideas… his sense of self is stable where crowley’s is malleable, and so on, and so on

and the fact that he’s continuously fixated on trying to misguidedly do the right thing, the fact that he seeks heavenly approval and wants to fit the world into his schema of good vs evil… in no way do i think that means he isn’t one hundred percent aware of how he feels about crowley or what it means about him by angelic or human standards. i’ve seen some folks saying that aziraphale doesn’t want to like kissing crowley and like… as much as i love me some brideshead revisited/atonement flavored angst; i put forth that it’s not internalized homophobia or queer panic but simply: “i’m trying to do the right thing for both of us and you won’t let me.” and “i wanted our first kiss to be different.” he was envisioning an entirely different flavor of romance than what he got but he emma woodhoused too close to the sun

like, y’all. aziraphale in all likelihood has a glorious collection of historical queer erotica. he just has a feathery diva coat hanging in his closet, and for what. “oh, good lord” he says at crowley’s revolutionary outfit in the bastille, while eyeing him up like an entire meal. he’s so good at affected propriety, at carefully constructed stuffiness, but between the two of them aziraphale’s got to be the one who has experience

aziraphale had been physically throwing himself at crowley the entire season. he orchestrated an entire regency ball so they could touch hand to hand. he spends the entire season (well, and season 1) looking at crowley like he’s particularly coveted. he looked at crowley before the fall like he was glorious and beautiful. aziraphale’s queer and he knows it and i think that isn’t his problem, it’s the fact that he wants to build a different sort of future for the two of them but crowley’s gone and thrown a wrench in it by reminding him of everything he can finally have. like. that’s the heartbreak. it’s how dare you make this ugly? i forgive you for our first kiss being all pain and salt. it’s my dearest, i wanted to make heaven as beautiful as you deserve. as sacred and safe for us as our bookshop. and i can do that for us, because once i held a flaming sword and i still remember how the hilt felt in my hands. and now the taste of you is in my mouth.

This one is a bit lazy

Day 4? Oh wow - weapon (list by @ Vanillacreame153, (alternating between two list don’t mind me))

« Yeah at least » AAAA

David Tennant and Michael Sheen are at it again - talking about Crowley and Aziraphale at the Good Omens London Premiere

Video source [ X ]

I imagine that, while in heaven, aziraphale would “enter” the body of someone (like with madame Tracy in s1) in close proximity to Crowley just to get a glimpse of him and Crowley would immediately know (like he knew in season 1) and scream at aziraphale-as-someone-else to piss off and go back to his ‘archangel duties’ and aziraphale would go back to heaven, touch his lips lightly with tears forming in his eyes

«I am alone, in the cold and aseptic rooms of Heaven and all my thoughts are far from holiness... was it the ultimate temptation? Or will it be the cause of my fall? Because, oh Lord, I shouldn’t… but I can't help but remember. I can’t stop myself from putting my hand to my lips to relive the memory.

Will you notice my thoughts, God, and make me fall? I think I would be strong enough to bear it. Long ago I feared that I had become a demon for defying Your will. But now I know. I’ve seen so much and I’ve understood it can be goodness and kindness in demons as well as wickedness in angels. I might challenge Your judgment now, for something I feel right.

But him? Would he still want me if I wasn’t the way I am? He calls me “Angel”... but what if I wasn’t? Would he love my demonic features like I love his yellow eyes? Would he keep coming back for me? I think I could bear everyone's judgement, including Yours, but if he looked at me differently... this would be too much and then, only then, I would really fall.»

- from A.Z. Fell’s journal in Heaven.

(A gift for @prettyineffable who asked me to write something like this)

So in ep 5 aziraphale make a ball because dancing makes people understand each other’s and fall in love, then proceed to dance with Crowley?? I see…

I haven't looked into it, what's it about HD 186 302 that you like a lot?

We only have one example of how life formed. If we had even one other example, even if it was within our own solar system, it would vastly improve our understanding of how abiotic materials make the jump to biotic. But since we don’t have any other examples, all we have to go on is what we know about ourselves.

It comes down to the organic molecules which are the necessary building blocks for life as we know it. We’ve found them in protoplanetary disks— solar systems that haven’t finished forming.

An entire solar system forms together, all at about the same time, shortly after the star is born. For the most part, everything in a solar system will be made of roughly the same Stuff.

What this means is: the most likely place to find Earth-like life outside of our planet is within our own solar system.

It also means that second most likely place to find Earth-like life is in the solar system of our long-lost twin.

Recent studies have suggested that all stars are born in pairs. The vast majority of stars are actually binary systems, two stars orbiting around each other. Our solar system is an outlier. This doesn’t usually happen.

So…. where is our twin? Obviously, something happened and the stars got flung in wildly different directions. But a group of astronomers found 17,000 potential candidates, which they narrowed down to 55, and then to 4 stars that matched ours. And finally, HD 186302 was declared the most likely match. Unfortunately, we haven’t been able to detect any transits to see if it has planets yet…

….but the James Webb Telescope will be able to.

We’re still learning new things all the time, so it’s possible HD 186302 isn’t our solar sibling after all. Regardless, we have a solar twin out there somewhere, like another batch of cookies made from the same batter as ours.

The James Webb Telescope has me unreasonably excited for what amazing new discoveries we may potentially find.

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