Tokidokioki - 🦈

me: *does a little twirl* *blows a kiss* *throws up a peace sign* *turns on my heel*

that was for you, babes ;)

the strangers watching me through my phone camera: …

the eyes in the walls: …

my sentient mirror reflection: …

My favorite game is Am I Being Severely Haunted or Am I Hallucinating Again

how do you tell someone “i’m not ignoring you i’m just disconnected from reality right now and the days are all blurred together and i feel completely apathetic towards everyone/everything around me so it’s really hard for me to maintain a conversation” without saying that

History Essay: Rambling #8

18th April 2022, 00:21

I’m proud of myself for once. I’ve written 1,000 words of my essay and I still have a week before it needs to be submitted. I’m never like this. I usually take two extensions on my essays so that I get two extra weeks to write (and then leave it until the day before it’s due still). My psychologist says it is ADHD. I think it’s just laziness, no motivation, and exhaustion. I don’t find things fun anymore. I have such a short attention span. I can’t even watch a 10 minute YouTube video without growing bored. It’s like growing up has sucked the colour from my life. Everything is grey. Food tastes like cardboard. The sun never shines. It is a permanent winter. I know the only reason I am doing my essay early is because I have so many other assignments I have to submit, but I am still proud of myself for actually doing it. The essay is about hierarchy and stratification in pre-modern Korea. It’s actually quite interesting. I’ve learned about the kolp’um system (bone ranks) and the yangban system (basically scholars). It was an amalgamation of aristocracy and bureaucracy. The funny thing is, I love to learn. I’m an intelligent person and doing nothing all day is boring and draining for me. Yet, I can never find the energy to actually study. Once again, I am a walking contradiction, and I just want to smash my head through a glass window.

~ 化け猫 (Bakeneko)

bpd: dont ask for help you will just bother them again ur already an inconvenience they dont care they just feel sorry for you

me: u right

I low-key wanna attempt suicide just so i can get admitted to a hospital and people can actually know that im not okay and care for me a bit, im just tired of pretending to be okay all the time.

Sometimes it takes courage to open up to kindness