Fun Fact About Me, One Time In 2019 Me And Two Friends Went To Gdańsk, Got Drunk In The Apartment, And

Headcanon that Mary walks quietly. Like, she regularly scares the shit out of people and Freddy’s like “we gotta put a bell on her, goddamn”

Not quite Batman level of stealthy, but up there

I have to get off tumblr and I know when I come back tonight I’ll be drowning in boops!!!

Reblog if you think asexuality is a legitimate sexuality.

I'm trying to prove something.

You don’t know how desperately I need the Justice League to pull up to the Rock of Eternity cause they need the help of the all powerful and all knowing Champion of Magic, only to see a kid playing with toy cars making “vroom!” noises and to face the realisation that this is the person who can control all magic in the world

Incorrect DC quotes part 13

Currently imagining a bat family dinner where all the batkids are going “pass me the Bat-salt” “sorry, I dropped my Bat-fork” “amazing Bat-soup, Alfred!” “I don’t want to see anymore Bat-photos of your dog on your Bat-phone, Damian”

Meanwhile Bruce has his head in his hands cursing the day he decided to get everyone to come to dinner.

One of my biggest fears is that I’m gonna end up in the ED and a doctor, nurse or whoever will ask me “what is your pain on a scale of 1 to 10?”

HOW AM I MEANT TO ANSWER??? Like what is ten supposed to feel like?? Oh, 10 is a broken leg? Well I’ve never broken my leg before so how about you break it so I know what 10 feels like!

Oh 10 is the literal feeling of death? Let me just choke on this stress ball you gave me so I know what that feels like!

Do I get to call a friend first? Can I use my lifeline? “Pass, next question”???

Like, I could be in unimaginable pain but my anxieties worse so how about you give me 20 minutes to think my answer over so I know it’s as accurate as possible?

Thinking about a scenario where, for whatever reason, Atlas has to pull his blessing from Captain Marvel for a little bit and Cap doesn’t know about it until it happens.

Like, he’s at a Justice League meeting, and suddenly he’s so tired and he just falls asleep on the spot.

So the JL hear a giant thud and look over so see Captain Marvel gone limp face down on the table.

And he looks dead. It doesn’t help that he doesn’t need to breathe in his marvel form so he isn’t breathing.

Cue the freak out.

I get second hand embarrassment BAD.

Like whenever two character’s relationship is grossly misunderstood I have to resist the urge to start throwing stuff.

I had to spend 5 minutes outside to calm down once because I was on the verge of screaming and waking up my family.

Random Captain Marvel things I think confuses the JL (yes, obviously this is inspired by Wonderjanga)

———

Everyone at the Justice League debrief meeting after a mission

Captain Marvel, randomly standing up and looking a little sick: “uh, please excuse me”

Batman: “Captain, you cannot just-“

Captain Marvel: *turns away and projectile vomits a bunch of letters onto the wall*

Batman: “…”

Batman: “you are excused.”

Captain Marvel, picking up the letters and sifting through them like it’s normal mail: “aw man! Another bill!”

Wonder Woman, shaking her head with a disapproving sigh: “man’s world and their idiotic delivery methods”

Superman: “oh Diana, that’s not- actually, nevermind”

———

Captain Marvel: *sitting in the JL watchtower cafeteria blowing out a candle on a small birthday cake.*

Green lantern, walking in to see him: “oh Cap! It’s your birthday???”

Captain Marvel with childlike glee on his face: “Yeah! I’m turning 11!”

Green Lantern: “wait wha-“

Captain Marvel: “and 3! And 41,024,618! And 350,597,120,140!”

Green Lantern: “excuse me what-“

Captain Marvel, checking an hourglass duck taped to his wrist: “oops! I gotta go or I’ll be late for Dinosaur sledding with Tawky Tawny!”

Captain Marvel: *zips out the room with the cake, leaving a very confused Green Lantern behind.*

Green Lantern: “Dinosaur sledding???”

———

Superman: *walks into the watchtower break room to see Captain Marvel and a younger blue version of him playing catch with a jar that holds a screaming worm inside.*

Superman: “Captain, who is this??? Why is there a worm in the jar and why on earth are you throwing it?”

Mr. Mind: “RELEASE M-“

Captain Marvel after chucking the jar straight at blue Captain Marvel’s head: “oh hi Supes! This is my older brother!”

Blue Captain Marvel after almost dropping the worm who is now screaming profanities: “holy crap! You’re Superm-!”

Before blue Captain Marvel can finish, a portal opens behind him and he gets sucked in screaming.

Superman, now with his fists up: “Captain Marvel! Get back!”

A younger girl version of Captain Marvel pokes her head out of the portal: “yo, Cap! Sivanna gave Tawny fleas and now Tawny seems like he’s gonna commit murder!”

Captain Marvel, flying into the portal without hesitation: “bye Supes!”

Superman, just standing there shellshocked: “I need to sit down…”