People Will Hate Me For Saying That Steph Is Probably In The Top 5 Fighters For The Bat-Fam, But She

I have to get off tumblr and I know when I come back tonight I’ll be drowning in boops!!!

“He would not fucking say that” is a Schrodinger’s phrase when it comes to Batman. There is probably Batman run where he would say that. There is also probably a run where Batman would kill the other Batman for saying that.

Back with another list for you guys!!!

Weird things Captain Marvel has done

Carved his entire mission report into a slab of stone for Batman

Sat on the couch in the Watchtower rec room without moving or blinking for 2 hours straight before going home whistling

Tried to lick the sun cause he was curious what it would taste like

Carried a child (Freddy) on his shoulders for an entire mission

Wore a top hat for a day and when asked about it was very confused about why he was wearing a top hat

Fell asleep in space for 5 hours, just floating around (he only woke up when he bumped into the moon)

Sweat an actual, real bullet

Swallowed a bag of chips whole (like, he didn’t even open it up)

Accidentally turned his hair into cotton candy then absentmindedly ate it (bald Cap became a meme)

Didn’t have have his lower body for a week and didn’t say why (like, from the waist down it was just fucking gone)

reblog this post with your (least) favorite downgrades

I’ll go first

When I was a kid and first learning English I kept hearing “excuse me” and just figured that’s what you said when you wanted someone to move out of the way so I had some interactions like this

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Love fics where Batman’s identity is revealed as Bruce Wayne and the JL is just not connecting the dots.

But I need a fic specifically where the JL is in a situation where they have to lay low in a safe house or whatever for a few days while they figure out their next move and Bruce just takes off his cowl without explanation and somebody looks up to see BRUCE WAYNE in their secret hideout.

The entire JL: *tired from fighting and crashing in the nearest safe house to hide out in for the next few days while they figure out their next move*

Batman, putting a lot of thought into it: ‘well I don’t want to have to wear all my body armour and my cowl for the next few days, and I trust these people with my life, so I think I can safely take my mask off and reveal my identity’

Batman, without a word even though he should probably say a whole speech and explain why: *takes his cowl off and silently continues with his work in the corner of the room*

The ENTIRE JL: *doesn’t notice*

Someone, probably Hal Jordan: *looks up to see BRUCIE fucking WAYNE sitting in the shadows of their top secret hideout*

Hal:

Hal: WHAT THE FUCK

The JL: *freaking out because why is a civilian billionaire in the secret safe house and how did he get in without the worlds strongest and smartest heroes knowing?*

Also the JL: WHERE THE HELL IS BATMAN????

Bruce: *politely sitting in the corner, still working while he waits for someone to ask him a question instead of incoherently screaming at each other about him*

we've done it again folks

red string of fate but on the other end is a worm on a string

Hey you all know about that fungus that possesses ants to make them climb on the tip of grass blades in hopes of getting eaten by a cow, so that the fungus can continue its life cycle in the cow's guts? Because I think that's the kind of thing that's wrong with cave divers.

We don't know what's down there. We don't know what's gotten into their heads that makes them so determined to physically, personally go down there to find out. But I wouldn't entirely dismiss the possibility that whatever has gotten into them is very invested in getting eaten by whatever is down there.