Some Dissociation Feels:

will i end the semester or will the semester end me??? stay tuned

Some pointers my Prof gave me before I began grad school

Yesterday I visited my university (undergrad) after two years in order to collect documents since I’m moving to grad school. I contacted one of my profs there and asked for advice, as I was nervous about joining research after such a long gap. Here is the advice he gave me:

General tips:

1. Be truthful to your research. Do not copy down somebody else’s work, even if you know you won’t be found out. Trust me on this, being accused of plagiarism is the worst thing to happen to a researcher and if you are exposed later on in career, your entire reputation will go down the drain.

2. Don’t hesitate to ask for help. He screwed up an instrument and waited 6 months before asking one of his subordinate who fixed it in 5 minutes. Imagine the amount of work he could have accomplished in those six months.

3. Manage your time well. Grad school is extremely demanding and some days you may not have time for sleep. Do not put off important work if you have time else you’ll end up doing it all in a hurry and without quality.

4. Every professor/guide/supervisor has her own unique method of teaching. Respect that and try to adapt. Even if you don’t understand most of what they teach, just listen. You might get a fresh perspective on things.

5. Be in touch with your teachers from undergrad etc. and ask them if you get stuck. They might help you out or at least guide you to someone who can.

6. Choose your topic wisely. Study the trends and know what are thrust areas in your field. However, the choice of guide is a major one. Make sure you understand the ways of your supervisor. Ask around, google his papers etc. and make sure he is not someone you’d hate for the entire extent of your school.

Tips related to Science research:

1. Know that there are more than one ways to solve a problem. However you cannot try them all due to time/energy/resources restrictions (or simply because your guide advises you against it). You need to know your limits and try methods that are optimized to your situation.

2. Be like Feynman. He knew his theory but he was a good experimentalist too. Have a balanced approach and know your strengths. If you are experimentalist, interact with theoreticians in order to get an idea of their approach and vice-a-versa. Your goal is to get the result and understand how you got it. 

3. You are in research not only to understand a theory/idea but also to apply it. It is not enough to know your books, you need to be able to solve the problem you are tackling. You won’t find a complete solution because nobody has solved it (thats why YOU are working on it, aren’t you?). You need to create/discover the solution.

4. Every problem in science completes a picture/theory. However not all of them receive the limelight. Find a topic you are interested in and know something about rather than chasing a “popular” one that everyone is talking about.

5. The biggest one: Do not feel inadequate for not knowing everything.

Nobody knows everything. You are in grad school to learn too. When you get stuck, get help/ask around; do not let the fear of being inferior get in the way of learning. You have got brains enough to understand things and you can.

6. Do not rely only on teachers/guides. Often your guide/supervisor will not know anything about the problem you are struggling with and will not be able to help you. In those times, find an expert (if there is) or consult books/papers. You should be able to study on your own, without somebody pushing you or deadlines.

Well, this is all I can remember. I hope it is helpful to those of you who are in a similar situation.

Rebrand

For all those wondering what, “just friends,” means.

I want my nervous system to calm down first,

Vincent van Gogh, from a letter to Theo van Gogh written c. May 1888 (via violentwavesofemotion)

This is because I don't see enough posts about this but:

•be patient with people who stutter (especially when you see they’re trying) •don’t finish their sentence for them unless you guys have talked about it and said that it’s okay •don’t laugh or imitate the stutter •don’t roll your eyes •if you want to know if they have one, politely ask I wanted to make this because of all the stuff I see on tumblr I never see posts about stuttering. I have one and it’s really shitty. So yeah

Abuse Victims- Can You Relate??

Being able to read a person’s microaggressions without even trying (He’s upset. I don’t know how I know he’s upset, but he is). I’m always right. 

Being able to hear a lie in someone’s voice without looking at them. 

Unconsciously being aware of every shift in the room, but still jumping a mile when someone comes up from behind. 

Forcing your body into autopilot when life just gets too hard to handle, but then realizing you’re dissociating and trying to bring yourself back. 

That stare that all your friends call your “resting bitch face.”

Nearly punching people in the face when they scare you. 

Being amazingly good at one thing because you had nothing else to do as a kid (for me, reading and writing). 

People calling you mature for your age. 

People being stunned at the fact that you know more life skills than a thirty year old. 

On the other hand, cringing when you don’t know how to do something everyone else knows how to do. 

Constantly feeling tired no matter how long you sleep. 

Telling a story about your childhood, and stopping halfway through when you realize everyone is horrified. 

Not understanding why people complain about taxes and insurance and money while you’re just happy you get to have plants in your room now. 

Having absolutely no control over your emotions, yet everyone thinks you’re so level headed and mature because you’re not physically capable of showing it. 

One day it’ll be back. The passion, the creativity, and the skill you once had. It might be hard right now, and hard to imagine it’s even possible, but it will.

Things are gonna be alright. You’re gonna feel the magic again one day.

at this point i'm proud of being a lame person