For All Those Wondering What, “just Friends,” Means.

The internet is unsafe for children

When STEM people have fun.

stop asking if you’re “valid,” start asking if you’re being honest about belonging to a community. stop this feelings-first, validate-me nonsense and realize that respect and validity starts with you, not with other people’s perception of you. if you don’t fit the definition for a term, then it’s not everyone else’s fault that you don’t feel valid, it’s yours for co-opting a term that wasn’t yours to begin with.

Child abusers don’t let children know they’re victims. Survivors of child abuse by large don’t know they’ve been abused. Abusive parents raise the child to have great compassion for them, to always view them as humane as possible, they make sure children are grateful to them, they point out every single thing they did for the child, such as “paid for your stuff” or “financed your schooling” or “gave you a roof over your head and fed you all these years” (even though to not do these things would be straight illegal, but they don’t mention that part, do they) as a proof of how good and generous they are, they make sure to recite all possible excuses to why they’re acting so abusive, they had a hard life, they have a lot on their plate, they’re good people they just make mistakes, they’ve been badly treated too, they don’t even know they’re hurting you, they’re insisting you’re too sensitive and get hurt from nothing, they don’t let the child hold them accountable or hold them guilty for any of their abuse. Abused child will be ashamed of themselves and hardly ever consider themselves a victim, they will be taught to repress and ignore trauma symptoms, to find a way to blame themselves for everything, to feel guilty just for how awful they feel all the time.

Emotionally abused child strongly believes that their parent is inherently good and deserves all the compassion in the world, all the excuses, all forgiveness and none of the blame for their actions (parents make sure children know that the blame would hurt them so children must never blame them) and will fight to defend the parent and point out why abuse was not really abuse, why children deserved it, why nobody is to blame, except maybe themselves, because “they weren’t good enough” to appease the parent which would then hopefully be a bit more kind (of course not). They often wont even admit how badly they’re scared of their parents.

To have an abused child realize they’ve been exploited, lied to, betrayed, systematically destroyed and dehumanized by their parent, their entire world needs to break down, everything they’ve been taught has to be acknowledged as a lie, what they considered right and fair needs to change to wrong, who they trusted the most needs to change to be least trust-worthy, who in their head, made sure they survive up to that point, needs to turn into a person who almost cost them their life, and destroyed it rather than held it safe. It’s not a fun ride. It’s devastating to go through, it breaks a person apart completely and forces them to re-construct their entire reality. And it’s the only way to have a chance to really recover, to validate themselves and their pain, to understand to what depth they’ve been damaged, and by who and why. It’s the only way to realize that they’re entitled to life, to food, to roof, to nurturing, to everything that was held against them, they’ve been required to feel grateful that they weren’t left to die. 

For those who still have to face this, or are facing it right now, you are going through the worst of your life right now. For those who have no empathy or patience for survivors to figure their lives out, fuck you, try living their life for a few years, see if you survive it. For abusers, I hope someone figures out how to force you to feel every single bit of pain you’ve inflicted on your children, I hope you fucking scream yourself to death from pain you’ve caused.

can we make 7-eleven day also alexei day

get ur hands on a free strawberry cherry slurpee every 7/11 at ya local 7-eleven in honor of our favorite purest ever russian puppy<3

@wonnwoo

Gonna tell y’all what I can hear now that I got my hearing aids

Cptsd bingo requested by anon!!!

I am extremly tired of school, of having the same routine everyday. I feel like my life is repeating itself. I have no energy nor power to study anymore or even to stay grounded on my feet and face the day. what can i do about this ?

Hi hon, what I would try first of all is a grounding technique, list 5 things you can see, 4 things you can feel, 2 things you can hear and one thing you can taste. This helps me stay grounded. What you’re experiencing sounds a lot like burnout here’s a response i usually give in terms of advice when it comes to burnout:

The way I overcame burnout was putting all my work in piles of subjects and then arranging them in order from most to least important, most important put on top. With my non-paper workload I did the same thing but as a checklist in my journal. Once I saw VISUALLY how much I had to do, which never turns out to be how much you think you have in your head, it was so much easier to attack it.

Before you start on your work, please take your time to recharge, start devoting at least an hour to self care, whether it be going for a walk, playing with pets, playing a board game with family, taking a bath and reading cheesy romance novels. Whatever you need to calm down, develop your own mantra, my personal mantra is “I know I can face whatever comes my way, the worst that can happen isn’t that bad and there’s always alternatives. My anxiety is my drive, not my impediment” After self care, do one thing at the top of each pile. The next day do the next thing in each pile, working through it methodically and taking care of yourself.

more personalised advice on top of this:

I would take out a blank piece of paper and create a mind map of what you want your life from now on to look like. Write all your core values and beliefs, your aspirations, everything you think of when you think of where you want to be in 5 years and where you want life to take you. Then you can reassess whether what you’re currently spending your time doing is worth it and taking you where you want to be. Re-motivate your life, treat this like an opportunity to plant the seed for what will turn into a blossoming and flourishing you. Create networks that leave you with so much more than school, school is only one area of your life! Find other hobbies and passions that you can nurture when you’re sick of doing school work and make sure you always go back to that mindmap, or create a new one if things change and refer to that, always go back to where the current you is taking future you and make sure you’re paving the right path for you.

<3