Reading A Lot Of Classic Lit Is Like Being Friends With A Bunch Of Straight Girls, Loving And Supporting

reading a lot of classic lit is like being friends with a bunch of straight girls, loving and supporting them, but watching in quiet horror as they make horrible decisions, both romantically and otherwise. like…. juliet sweetheart i fully support your quest for the montague dick, but let’s make sure romeo has the message before we fake-kill ourselves, okay? messengers can be shitty in this day and age. and cathy, look. you’re kind of the worst, but you still deserve better than heathcliff. get your associate’s, be nicer to edgar, and move out of that town, ok? and don’t die and leave your daughter in the clutches of your evil ex while you’re at it. narrator of rebecca… first off bitch we’ve been friends for years, tell me your name… second, PLEASE LEARN SOME SELF-LOVE AND SELF-CARE!!!!! YOU ARE A VIBRANT CREATURE KNOWN AS WOMAN, YOU DO NOT NEED A MAN TO BE WORTHWHILE!!!! and as for jane eyre…….. bitch……… i mean don’t get me wrong i love all of you and would die for any of you, any time, and please believe i say this with the utmost affection, but ALL OF YOU BITCHES ARE SO EXHAUSTING. OH MY GOD.

except you, lizzy bennet, you’re an angel and i’m thrilled that you’re here.

More Posts from Toothbrushabsurdity and Others

6 years ago

Murphy’s Law for Writers

Anything that can go wrong, should go wrong.

6 years ago

how it feels being swarmed w responsibilities but not having enough executive function/motivation too deal w them

How It Feels Being Swarmed W Responsibilities But Not Having Enough Executive Function/motivation Too
6 years ago

if you’ve ever left me a message asking me if I’m okay, or liked a post in which I was ranting about my bad day, or liked a selfie, or just anything nice like that- just know that I remember you, I am grateful for you, and you made my day better with your tiny gesture.

5 years ago
For All Those Wondering What, “just Friends,” Means.
For All Those Wondering What, “just Friends,” Means.
For All Those Wondering What, “just Friends,” Means.

For all those wondering what, “just friends,” means.

6 years ago

Dissociation feels

everything is happening 0.5 times too fast

numb

everything but a little bit to the left

Numb™

it feels like Monday the 17th at 3:31pm but also like Saturday at 4:57am

….. existing?

hahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

why are the end credits playing I didn’t even hit play

Current emotion is coma

I need to self-harm but I physically cannot move

feeling panic rising up inside but being too numb to physically react

Must Do Thing. Do Not Know What Thing Is.

N҉͏̖͇͕̥ư̷̭̪͇͉̰̱͢ͅḿ͝҉̠̬̘͇̫͇͍̘͜b̴͓͍̱̣

everythingeverythingeverythingeverythingeverythingeverythingeverythingeverythingeverythingevery

…I should start a religion

I A M G O D

*vibrating softly* everything in the world is my fault

Numb

Existence Is Fraud

Do I still have legs?

5 years ago

Hey kids, not to be a party pooping adult, but if you start noticing signs of having an addictive personality/tendencies at a young age, be really careful when experimenting with alcohol, marijuana, or nicotine (and other illegal drugs, which I would encourage you to avoid entirely; and medicinal drugs like opioids acquired after a surgery).

Like, if you can't tear yourself away from a video game, even to make it to an important event on time? Addictive tendencies.

If you keep spending your allowance money on those funny collectibles or new shoes even when you promise yourself you're going to save it? Addictive tendencies.

If you find yourself unable to resist and manage food cravings, or frequently overeating even when it makes you feel bad? Addictive tendencies.

Be aware of yourself, kids. Be cautious and don't be anybody's fool. I love you, be safe!

5 years ago

Destroy the idea that repressing emotions is a sign of strength. 

5 years ago

concept: my home is filled with sunshine, always, and the sound of wind chimes in the morning. the doors are always open and it smells like sea. i am never lonely. this is my place.

6 years ago

Neurotypicals: yOuR aTtItUdE dEtErMiNeS yOuR mOoD!!

depressed people: most clinical depression is caused by chemical imbalances in your body.

neurotypicals: wha-

neurotypicals: uh…

neurotypicals: … your attitude determines the chemical balance in your body!1!

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