[first Day As A Pilot]

Stede: Is he always like this?

Blackbeard: Oh, yeah, you shoulda seen The Great Jenga Tantrum of 1710.

Izzy: IVAN BUMPED THE TABLE AND YOU KNOW IT.

Blackbeard: Hey, Stede-

Stede: [crying softly in front of the TV]

Blackbeard: Oh, did the documentary mention another bird that mates for life?

Stede: [nods]

Lucius, describing Stede to a store clerk: He's about this tall, blonde hair, dark eyes.... [raises voice] and he looks horrible in teal!

Stede, from the wine aisle: NO I DON'T

Oluwande: Tell me your wildest fantasy.

Jim: I'm on Wheel of Fortune and I spin the wheel so hard it lights on fire.

Oluwande: I meant like-

Jim: Everyone claps.

Izzy, Fang, and Ivan: [arguing]

Blackbeard: [slaps arm on the table] WE ARE IN A GODDAMN IHOP. ACT LIKE IT.

Black Pete: GOD you're so clingy.

Lucius: YOU came into MY bed???

[pulling up to another ship to attack]

Stede: Why are we doing this again?

Lucius: The crew says 'Go big or go home'.

Stede: Right then, let's do this!

[The Revenge goes right past the other ship]

Lucius: Uhhh, where are we going?

Stede: Home? Wasn't that one of the options?

[at the store]

Ed, getting ready to pay: Is it a swipey swipe?

Stede: No, it's a chippy chip.

Izzy, behind them: UGH

[family game night]

Lucius: You know, you're getting a little too old to play Twister.

Stede: Nonsense, spin the wheel!

Lucius, sighing: Right hand red.

Stede: [pulls every muscle in his body]

Stede: What are you doing?

Frenchie, taking a Buzzfeed quiz to see what kind of Poptart he is: work