Blackbeard: Hey, Stede-

Izzy, Fang, and Ivan: [arguing]

Blackbeard: [slaps arm on the table] WE ARE IN A GODDAMN IHOP. ACT LIKE IT.

Oluwande: Almost hit Buttons with my car today. I was pulling up to the house and apparently he didn't see me. So this guy darts out in front of me and I hit the brakes-

Oluwande: And he fucking dabs.

Oluwande: His automatic reaction to almost getting hit by a car was to just fucking dab. His LAST MOMENTS would have been a sick ass dab.

Oluwande: i'm worried about him

Stede: Let's talk about some of the emotions you may be feeling right now.

Fang: Stabbing.

Stede: Stabbing is more of an activity.

Stede: That I hope you don't do to me.

Stede: We call that a traumatic moment.

Stede, turning to Frenchie: Not a 'bruh moment'.

Stede, turning to Black Pete: Not a 'major L'.

Stede, turning to Jim: And definitely not an "OOF LMAO".

[pulling up to another ship to attack]

Stede: Why are we doing this again?

Lucius: The crew says 'Go big or go home'.

Stede: Right then, let's do this!

[The Revenge goes right past the other ship]

Lucius: Uhhh, where are we going?

Stede: Home? Wasn't that one of the options?

Roach: That's one of my biggest fears.

Lucius: What is?

Roach: If I ever, like, woke up as a donut...

Lucius: You'd eat yourself?

Roach: i wouldn't even question it

[playing Among Us]

Frenchie, the Imposter: It's Pete!

Pete: What?! I was with Lucius the whole time!

Lucius: It's Pete.

[first day as a pilot]

Control Tower: What are your coordinates?

Ed: I'm by a cloud that's shaped like a lion.

Control Tower: Can you be more specific?

Ed: simba

Fang: Comin' outta my cage and I been doin' just-

Izzy: FUCK

[Izzy and Lucius reaching for a burger at the same time, their hands touch, their eyes meet]

Lucius: Hey, this is kinda gay-

Izzy: Get the fuck off my McDonald's.