This Is So Canon, I Would Know

this is so canon, i would know

Mabel and Bill were sitting on the couch when Soos passed from the gift shop through the living room. As Soos passed, Bill was saying, "No, I just don't see relationships as eternal. Romance is a short term commitment. Like a fashion trend, or, or—"

"Like gum?"

Bill snapped his fingers. "Yes! Exactly like gum!"

As he headed upstairs, Soos heard Mabel say, "So when a romance starts to lose its flavor, you just—" and Bill cut in, "You spit it on the sidewalk, grind it under your heel, and float away without looking back, never thinking about it again..."

A few minutes later, after changing out of his Mr. Mystery suit into a more comfortable question mark t-shirt, Soos headed back downstairs. Bill was still talking: "... and all you get out of it is sickly sweet spit, you're just—swallowing all this sweet spit until it makes your mouth sour and it's dripping out around your eye, and it makes you hungrier than if you'd never eaten at all, and all your friends say 'oh Bill, you're always griping about your gum, why don't you settle down to eat a proper meal,' and you say 'how about you mind your own business, Kryptos, I don't lecture you about your diet,' and then your other friends accuse you of choosing inedible snacks so you don't have to commit to swallowing them, because they don't get that you're a flawless energy being, you don't need 'nutrition' or 'sustenance,' this is just a hobby to you—and then you just, you get sick of the taste of gum altogether, you never want to chew gum again as long as you live, it's always so needy and your jaw hurts, and it's your fault if you can't focus on chewing the stupid thing all day every day, like maybe you have a life of your own, did anyone consider that? So you burn down a gum factory so you don't have to look at their stupid ads! And then an eon later you find yourself craving a stick of gum, so you find a different brand and cram a new one in."

Mabel, who'd been listening to Bill's monologue in wide-eyed stunned silence, finally smiled in relief as he landed on a familiar sentiment. She pumped her fist in the air. "Yeah! Cram a new one in!"

"You get me, kid."

I think there might be something wrong with Bill.

More Posts from Toucher0fgrass and Others

8 months ago

rhis is literallt ao cool

Here are some sneak peaks of the @tenyearsofbillcipher zine I got to participate in! The first ever sketch I made, a more detailed WIP and even some small parts of the finished piece ;)

Here‘s the shop if you‘d like to see the full image, the art of many more incredible artists, amazing writers and even merch!! : https://10yearsofbillcipher.bigcartel.com/

Can you figure out where the finished parts belong? :)

Here Are Some Sneak Peaks Of The @tenyearsofbillcipher Zine I Got To Participate In! The First Ever Sketch
Here Are Some Sneak Peaks Of The @tenyearsofbillcipher Zine I Got To Participate In! The First Ever Sketch
Here Are Some Sneak Peaks Of The @tenyearsofbillcipher Zine I Got To Participate In! The First Ever Sketch
Here Are Some Sneak Peaks Of The @tenyearsofbillcipher Zine I Got To Participate In! The First Ever Sketch
Here Are Some Sneak Peaks Of The @tenyearsofbillcipher Zine I Got To Participate In! The First Ever Sketch

Fun fact: according to ibisPaint this art piece took me 72 hours and 31 minutes to make! That time being the total amount of time the canvas was open :)


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2 months ago

>>START_LOG: HostLog_2: Subject: Host 2.9 Name: Animatic (Ani for short) Species: Unknown Source: Animatic Battle Gender: Unknown Pronouns: he/they/it(?) Description: Animatic was first brought up to us by Dr. Schvelts after they had done the first round of universe reviews for possible test subjects for Group 2. Animatic takes the appearance of a drawing of some sort, a light blue cross marking on the ‘face’ of it. His outline is black, another lighter outline underneath, and his limbs are that of a stick figure, one arm being vermilion red and the other ultramarine blue, the same for the legs but the colors flipped. Ani is known to change in size, shape, and color. We fear this subject. Known Abilities: The possibilities of their abilities are endless. We do not know how powerful they are but if their show is anything to go off of, they may be the most powerful Host here out of all of them.  Procedures to take: We will ATTEMPT to hinder their ability to teleport with a mixture of both Algebrien and Object protocols. In addition to this, we will send it to the deeper levels upon entry, far away from any important machinery and other hosts, but given its intelligence, we may be forced to use more intensive pacifying measures. END_LOG.

1 year ago
Little Does Bill Know, Mr. Tummy Has A Twin Brother Named Mr. Yummy
Little Does Bill Know, Mr. Tummy Has A Twin Brother Named Mr. Yummy

little does bill know, mr. tummy has a twin brother named mr. yummy

1 year ago
My Son, I Found Him In A Trashcan.

My son, I found him in a trashcan.

My artstyle is so inconsistent its not even funny anymore(also this is an artstyle test and i like the results)

1 year ago

Love how Ford and Bill bicker like an old divorced couple

Ford said, "I wrote about it in... my first journal..." 

"Ah," Bill said. "You mean the incinerated one." He said it so coolly, like he wasn't the one who incinerated it.

"Actually," Mabel said, "after everything went back to normal, Grunkle Ford's journals got un-incinerated!"

Bill made a poor show of trying not to look surprised. "You don't say."

"Yeah, good as new! They regrew their torn pages and everything," Mabel said. "And... then we kinda chucked them into the bottomless pit."

Bill cracked up, kicking out a foot in mirth. "You what?! You idiots, don't you know you had an invaluable occult encyclopedia in your hands? The second journal alone was the most important human grimoire of the last five hundred years!"

Ford was too irritated to be flattered. What business did Bill have mocking him, thirty seconds ago Bill had thought he was the one who destroyed the journals. Ford snapped, "I didn't want to keep anything you'd tainted."

He was gratified by how fast Bill stopped laughing. "Then burn down your shack and lobotomize your hippocampus," Bill muttered.

He's like, three seconds away from rubbing his hands on Ford's face and saying "Now you have my cooties. Kill yourself."

Two chapters ago he told Ford he wanted to be friends again.

1 year ago

meow

Meow

i haven’t drawn this guy in this form for a hot while (exclude yesterday, i just wanted to add onto the drawing )

5 months ago

hes so hot...

Honkai Star Rail Gallagher #5
Honkai Star Rail Gallagher #5
Honkai Star Rail Gallagher #5
Honkai Star Rail Gallagher #5
Honkai Star Rail Gallagher #5
Honkai Star Rail Gallagher #5
Honkai Star Rail Gallagher #5
Honkai Star Rail Gallagher #5

Honkai Star Rail Gallagher #5


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toucher0fgrass - Gallagher's flask
Gallagher's flask

"𝒜𝓁𝓁 𝒽𝒶𝒾𝓁 𝒢𝒶𝓁𝓁𝒶𝓰𝒽ℯ𝓇" we all say in unison RIP Misha and Gallagher - May 8, 2024. "To the imperfect tomorrow."

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