Toughpatooties-blog - Akchsjssb

me: hello darkness my old friend

darkness: do i know u

me: watches criminal minds for 4 hours straight 

someone: knocks on my door 

me:

Friend: hey,how many straight ships do you have ?

Me : me,oh i have loads.

Friend : name them then.

Me : * sweats nervously * well there's ..um..no it's..wait I've got this , don't rush me.

Friend: you don't have any do you.

Me : No.

sometime… u jus got 2 eat white rice. plain white rice. untouched. by itself. with your hands

I NEED THIS

i love it when pets fall asleep on me because i can ask anyone to do anything for me sorry i can’t get up i have been chosen