I, Strangely Enough, Had A Dream About It And Was Trying To Forget Thanks For The War Flashbacks

Reading Legolas/ Gimli fics:

Custom booty shorts for you and your creature

I submit to you that the most iconic feature of any animal is either unlikely or impossible to fossilize.

If all we had of wolves were their bones we would never guess that they howl.

If all we had of elephants were fossils with no living related species, we might infer some kind of proboscis but we'd never come up with those ears.

If all we had of chickens were bones, we wouldn't know about their combs and wattles, or that roosters crow.

We wouldn't know that lions have manes, or that zebras have stripes, or that peacocks have trains, that howler monkeys yell, that cats purr, that deer shed the velvet from their antlers, that caterpillars become butterflies, that spiders make webs, that chickadees say their name, that Canada geese are assholes, that orangutans are ginger, that dolphins echolocate, or that squid even existed.

My point here is that we don't know anything about dinosaurs. If we saw one we would not recognize it. As my evidence I submit the above, along with the fact that it took us two centuries to realize they'd been all around us the whole time.

The Aunt Josephine one jsjsksksksks

ASOUE as John Mulaney Quotes

Violet: Top 3 colleges? I thought I'd be dead in the back of a trunk with my hand hanging out of the taillight by now.

Klaus: Woah! That tall child looks terrible! Get some rest, tall child!

Sunny: stop snitchin, motherfucker!

Count Olaf: "Eat ass, suck a dick, and sell drugs."

Mr. Poe: Strange, the passage of time.

Jacquelyn: In terms of instant relief, cancelling plans is like heroin.

Larry: "I made a salad with Craisins!!!"

Isadora: Well shit, I guess they're finally gonna kill us all. This is younger than I thought it'd be, but we are pretty big assholes.

Quigely: STREET SMARTS!

Duncan: Nothing, cause I was sittin' over on the bench.

Beatrice: She's a five-foot, dynamite, Jewish bitch, and she's the best!

Bertrand: My wife says walking around with me is like walking with someone who's running for Mayor of Nothing.

Lemony Snicket: I don't look like someone who used to do anything. I look like I was just sitting in a room with a chair eating saltines for 28 years and then walked right out here.

Jacques Snicket: I'll keep all of my emotions right here, and then one day, I'll die.

Kit Snicket: ughh... you know, life...

Dewey Denouement: "You have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair."

Justice Strauss: "This is an on-fire garbage can. Could be a nursery..."

Oliva Caliban: Now, we don't have time to unpack ALL of that...

Aunt Josephine: Look-- I don't know 'never'! Fourteen years ago, I smoked cocaine the night before my college graduation; now I'm afraid to get a flu shot! People CHANGE.

Uncle Monty: AAHH! One feels like a DUCK, splashing about in all this WET! And when one feels like a DUCK, one is HAPPY!

Esme Squalor: Famous people are weird as SHIT. Your suspicions are correct.

Henchperson of Indeterminate Gender: [imitating old gay man] You want me to do whaat?

Fernald: Do My Friends Hate Me, or Do I Just Need To Go To Sleep?

Rest of Olaf's Troupe: OK, see you at Improv Practice.

Ishmael: "God can't hear you."

Sir: "You kids have no upper body strength."

Jerome Squalor: You'll see! One day I'm gonna leave you, and I'm gonna get that Best Buy Rewards Card!

Hal: There is a HORSE. LOOSE. In the HOSPITAL.

VFD Villagers: "Oh god, it's the old times. Ok.. we gotta think of some weird, slow activities to fill the day..."

*ATWQ bonus*

Ellington: Ah, none of us really know our fathers.

Just love the “you were emo/punk/metal teen” trope~ also Harris with a lip bite is c u r s e d

(To clarify as well for this one- I was listening to the songs Cherry Bomb and Super Freak. I WAS working on another drawing, but needed a dumb mini ref. And here they are.)

I feel like a lot of people don’t want to ask questions they have about gender/sexuality to LGBT people because they don’t want to offend them because we talk about cishet people asking stupid or intrusive questions a lot

But actually when you’re questioning it’s really helpful to be able to ask some ‘stupid’ questions although you’re too afraid to

So can y'all LGBTQIA+ people reblog this if you’re totally fine with people asking questions about your gender/sexuality, as long as they do so respectfully

dont play hide and seek with an all seeing god

This is important

I find I have to mention this to people a lot: the way to check your own fandom racism or anti-blackness isn’t how you react to the flawless POC characters, but how you react when POC characters have flaws. 

Like, I’ve known people who tear down Simone from The Good Place, and when I pointed out that none of her flaws are even close to those of Eleanor, from season one or even currently, and suggested that they should consider whether biases are influencing their hatred for the character, they cited their love for Shuri from Black Panther, and characters like her. Shuri is not a hard character to love; she never challenges the audience to see her in a complex way. She is funny, smart, and never burdensome to anyone.

Myself, I hated Katara from Avatar when I was younger. Now, I am able to identify the internalized misogyny and racism in my dislike for her; I hated her because she was inconvenient at times and wasn’t always nice to the characters I liked. Similar deal with Frank Zhang from Heroes of Olympus. But both of those characters (and all characters) were significant for what they represented.

Fandom racism isn’t just hating POC characters for no reason or ignoring POC ships; it also manifests in the double-standard where we’re willing to forgive white characters for more things than POC characters.

shoutout to benson and dave for getting the funniest possible backstory they could've had