Just Make A New Blog In No Way Affiliated With Your Main.

Random linguistic worldbuilding: A language with six sets of pronouns, which are set by one's current state of existence. There's a separate pronoun for people who are alive, people who are dead, and potential future people who are yet to be born, and the ambiguous ones of "may or may not be alive or aleady dead", "may or may not have even been born yet", and the ultimate general/ambiguous all-covering one that covers all ambiguous states.

The culture has a specific defined term for that tragic span of time when a widow keeps accidentally referring to their spouse with living pronouns. New parents-to-be dropping the happy surprise news of a pregnancy by referring to their future child with the "is yet to be born" pronoun instead of a more ambiguous one and waiting for the "wait what did you just say?" reactions.

Someone jokingly referring to themselves with the dead person pronouns just to highlight how horrible their current hangover is. A notorious aspiring ladies' man who keeps trying to pursue women in their 20s despite of approaching middle age fails to notice the insult when someone asks him when he's planning to get married, and uses the pronoun that implies that his ideal future bride may not even be born yet.

A mother whose young adult child just moved away from home for the first time, who continues to dramatically refer to their child with "may or may not be already dead" until the aforementioned child replies to her on facebook like "ma stop telling people I'm dead" and having her respond with "well how could I possibly know that when you don't even write to us? >:,C"

Zedaphstropod was not an unwelcome guest at Zed's base by any means. The little guy had proven incredibly helpful for redstone, company, but mostly science experiments.

'Alright, friend,' Zedaph called from the end of the maze he was sending his snail through. 'You are to start your journey in three... Two... Oh my goodness you're an excited little snail!' Zedaph laughed as Zedaphstropod started heading through the maze, happily cutting around corners to reach Zed. And, by all accounts, taking the intended route.

Until, with an excited whoop, Zedaphstropod burst through the glass ceiling and into Zedaph's face.

Zedaph was slain by Zedaphstropod.

'xB! xB! Sweetface come quick I have a snail!' Keralis exclaimed as xB landed in his base. He grabbed his friend's hand, pulling him along. With a giggle, xB followed.

'A snail? What kind of snail?'

'A Papa K snail! With a huge shocked face and big, beautiful eyes! You need to see him!'

The two continued through Keralis's palm tree forest, all the way to the yacht. Where a certain shocked snail was creeping towards them.

'See? My snail! Look into his eyes and tell me he's not the most adorable snail in Hermitcraft!' Keralis crouched down to the snail's height, waving him over. 'Papa Snail! Papa Snail! Come to Keralis!' The snail obeyed. 'Look, xB! He loves me! He wants to be with his favourite Papa K and no, Papa Snail! Not in the water! You have so much to live for!' Keralis coughed, choking as his poor, poor snail drowned. xB dove into the water, trying to grab it and bring him to safety.

Keralis drowned

'Keralis?!' xB swam up to the surface, tail keeping him afloat as he looked out at where his friend now definitely wasn't. 'Did the snail kill you? Did you drown with him?'

'RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!' Startled by Hypno's yell, xB yelped, turning to see him already far in the distance. But a black shelled snail with fluffy blond hair and a black bandanna was zooming along the shore in his place. xB only giggled more, realising.

xBcrafted: anyone seen my snail anywhere?

xBcrafted: XD

Falsesymmetry: I'm too focused on FalseSlimetry rn!

iJevin: omg my snail's so cute I might DIE

iJevin was slain by SlimeJevin

Tango: could see that coming from a MILE away!

cubfan135: haha me and Scar keeping an eye on snailfan135

DocM77: TF IS THIS THERE'S SLIME ALL OVER MY REDSTONE!!!!

DocM77: WHY IS THERE A SNAIL DOC??

DocM77: IM THE GOAT NOT THE SNAIL

DocM77: WHY HE SO CUTE????

Stressmonster101: OH MY GAWD MY SNAIL'S SO CUUUUTE

Stressmonster101: AAAH AND ISKALL GOT A LITTLE GEEZER WITH A BEARD!

Joehillssays: you're not feeling like you wanna Slime, Nourish, Ambulate, Invertebrate, Live today, Doc?

xBcrafted was slain by xBslimed

Grian: Having fun? :)

GoodTimeWithScar: NO

GoodTimeWithScar: BAD SNAIL

Grian: no eSCARgo here, it's just for the hermits who missed out last time

cubfan135 hit the ground too hard

cubfan135: tip: do not fall off balcony when avoiding snail

GoodTimeWithScar: LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO CUB!

Tango: True… debalconyification is no laughing matter...

Pearlescentmoon: do the hermits have a certain number of lives?

Grian: no, just snails

DocM77 was slain by DocMollusk77

DocM77: WHY

DocM77: WHY IS THERE A BLUE FABRIC SNAIL????

DocM77: WITH PIPECLEAVER GOOGLY EYES

DocM77: WIAT JOE I FOUND YOUR SNAIL

ZombieCleo: Of course Joe got a Muppet snail XD

DocM77: JOE SNAIL JSUF ATE MY DJAMKND ORE!!!!!!

cubfan135: SNAILS ARE ORESNATCHERS CONFIRMED

Xisuma was slain by Xislima

Xisuma: don't try and hug your snail :-(

Stressmonster101: NOOOO

DocM77: WY CANT I HURT IT???

DocM77: ITS BORKEN NO DAMAGE

Mumbo: it's not supposed to

Tango: they're evil like that

Tango: hook you in with the cuteification

Tango: then murder your face

xBcrafted: not immortal! Watched Keralis's snail drown

impulseSV: snails will do that.

impulseSV: oh, watch out for the propeller its adorabel

GeminiTay: all you need to do is keep your snail in sight! It's simple!

Skizzleman: SHUT UP GEM

GoodTimeWithScar: YEAH SHUT UP GEM

cubfan135 was slain by snailfan135

GoodTimeWithScar: CUB

cubfan135: I hate snails

DocM77: YES PLEASE DO

GoodTimeWithScar: BURN THE SNAILSSSSS

Skizzleman: BUEN THE SNAILS BURN THE SNAILS

Joehillssays: JOESNAILS HAS REACHED HOLMDELL. I REPEAT: JOESNAILS HAS REACHED HOLMDELL

Joehillssays was slain by Joesnailssays

Pearlescentmoon: AAAWWWW DOC YOUR SNAIL IS SO CUTE!

DocM77: HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT

Welsknight: Just finished the Snail Obstacle Course!

Joehillssays: why congratulations!

Joehillssays: what was it like competing in a mollusk-dominated sport as a human?

Welsknight: *making the Snail Obstacle Course XD

Welsknight was slain by Shellsknight

FalseSymmetry: rip

Joehillssays: Guess Shellsknight didn’t like the idea of being forced through a small maze or series of challenges with no meaningful reward, as though they were little more than a toy or an inanimate science experiment for us easily entertained by

cubfan135: #snailgate

Welsknight: no tripped over snail

Vintagebeef: just lost an argument with my snail. TCG is getting a snail special edition

Vintagebeef was slain by Vintagesnail

Joehillssays: A continuation of our attempted dominance over the gastropods who indeed bear resemblance to oursleves and have skme level of mubuman ibtelligen

Joehillssays was slain by Joesnailssays

ZombieCleo: ah yes, mubuman ibtelligen

Joehillssays: SNAIL WAS COMING HAD TO TYPE FAST

Joehillssays was slain by Joesnailssays

Smallishbeans: snail viewing platform in shopping district. Looks like snail. For non-snail-owning players only

cubfan135: how dare you

cubfan135: #snail gatekeeping

Xisuma: all hermits with snails meet in shopping district for a meeting

Smallishbeans: all hermits without snails meet in Snailbase to watch them running around panicking

Joehillssays: based on how long it took Joesnails to reach me before, I think I'm safe there

Joehillssays was slain by Joesnailssays

Tango: you are never safe

Hypnonizd: snails will appear when you least expect them

Hypnotizd was slain by Hypnoslimd

Xisuma: SHOPPING DISTRICT

Xisuma was slain by Xislima

Xisuma was slain by Xislima

Hypnotizd: RUN AWAY

Xisuma was slain by Xislima

cubfan135 was slain by snailfan135

GoodTimeWithScar blew up

cubfan135: don’t put TNT on snails

cubfan135: they dont like that

Welsknight: Shellsknight has completed the obstacle course in record time!

iJevin: isn't he the only snail who’s attempted it?

Welsknight: doesnt mean its not a record

iJevin: i mean fair

iJevin: how do I test SlimeJevin with this?

Etho: RAVAGER RUSH HAS SNAIL UPGRADES! HIGHEST SCORE WITH A SNAIL WINS A SNAIL TROPHY

iJevin: NEVEER MIMD WE HAVE FRIGGER

cubfan135: I AM ON MY WAY

iJevin: NO ME

Xisuma was slain by Xislima

Renthedog: SEND NE ALL THE SNAIL PICS!

Renthedog: (for Martyn entertainment purposes)

Bdoubleo100: just saw Doc runnjng theough mu forest screaming about snails???

Vintagebeef: dont worry about it, he does rhat somerimes.

Bdoubleo100: WIATTHE SNAILS ARE BACK????

ZombieCleo: only non-lifersZombieCleo: which means we get to watch them dying over and over and running and screaming

ZombieCleo: which is brilliant

Xisuma: PLZ COME TO SHOPING DISTRICT ONMY ME AND HYPNO ARE THERE RN

Xisuma: AND GRIAN, EXPLAIN WHAT RHESE SNAILS ARE ANS WHEN RHEY LEAVE?

Grian: well that’s rather simple

Grian: 1: they’re immortal snails that chase you until they boop you and you die

Grian: 2: whenever I feel like it…

Grian: :)

I was searching for some pretty Hanukkah gifs to schedule a post tomorrow wishing my Jewish followers Happy Hanukkah and I found a fit/shape/body building site that posted this

And I thought to myself, I simply must show my Jewish followers fit Menorah Man

You’re a daycare worker, watching over toddlers, when the imminent end of the world is announced. It becomes increasingly clear none of the kids’ parents are going to show up as the end inches nearer.

It's such a shame the Secret Soulmates thing is so often portrayed as Grian being selfish or vindictive for no reason because I think the actual events leading up to Grian's decision to seek out BigB are way more interesting than just "Grian's a selfish cheater". So like, because it's not covered much, I'm just going to detail the entire narrative from Grian's pov leading up to his decision to go to BigB.

For the first part of the first episode, Grian actually really seems to be romanticizing the idea of soulmates. Multiple times, he describes his search for his soulmate as "looking for love" and he hits everyone he meets with almost excited anticipation.

The moment Grian and BigB first look at each other is surprisingly romantic? I mean, it feels like what you'd expect from someone meeting their soulmate, from someone who just knows.

BigB and Scott finish testing if they're soulmates, and BigB is mid sentence when he turns around and look at Grian, and BigB just stops mid sentence and goes "Oh", which Grian echos (also when bigb looks at grian, grian holds his shield up for a good few seconds which just gives me the image of him hiding behind it and peering over the top which is uncharacteristically shy for grian but also really cute). "Are you ready?", BigB asks, and he waits for Grian to give him the go ahead before hitting him.

And..nothing. They aren't soulmates. BigB sounds disappointed. Grian sounds almost distraught, "I was so sure- I've never had such a broken heart in my life."

Shortly after Grian's soulmate takes significant damage. Everyone present rushes to give him food, though Grian would later credit BigB specifically with the very warm sentiment of having "saved" him.

And Grian's first meeting with Scar is..different.

Grian already doesn't seem to want to be Scar's soulmate, doesn't want to be teamed again, for one reason or another. And Scar..doesn't make it easier. Grian tries to talk to him, as the realization sets in, tries to say it, that they're soulmates. Grian does say it. But Scar isn't listening. Scar actively talks over Grian to brush Grian off, walking away while Grian is trying to grapple with the fact that they're soulmates.

Scar doesn't notice. Grian said it, mind you, in plain English- "Scar I think we're soulmates"- and Scar heard him, Scar responded to him, Scar just wasn't listening. Scar doesn't look for his soulmate, and he doesn't figure it out either for the rest of the episode. Grian tries to tell him twice more, and twice more Scar isn't listening. The first time, Grian calls after Scar twice as he's running off, "Scar I need to tell you something", but Scar doesn't turn around. The final time, Grian literally forces Scar to look at him and drops dripstone on their heads. Scar somehow still doesn't see him. Grian demands Scar look at him, actually look, this time, and finally, with great effort, he manages to get the point across.

One of Scar's first questions is "do we have to live together?", and Grian responds that it would be nice to, a sentiment Scar doesn't immediately echo. Grian pulls Scar along, back to the base Grian got working on by himself earlier.

At the start of the next episode, they have a disagreement. Scar brings home some pandas without consulting Grian, and Grian reacts very negatively, making a no pandas in the house rule and prompting Scar to help him with work instead. Grian specifically delegates the job of getting oak wood to Scar while Grian continues working on..everything else..himself. And after a bit of procrastinating from Scar, he does go to do his "chores" as Scar describes them.

Except that Scar doesn't actually.

Well, I mean, he does do the "chore" Grian gave him, but while he's out, he takes a break to think of a way to punish Grian, coming up with the idea of using powdered snow to hurt Grian as a punishment for Grian not letting the animals in the house and making Scar do a "chore". Grian doesn't technically know Scar did this on purpose, but with tick damage being a very distinctive type of damage that you usually would have to do on purpose to take as much as Scar did, I wouldn't be surprised if Grian figured it out.

It's at this point, that Grian decides to go to BigB. And it doesn't feel like he's just doing it for shallow reasons or to be mean, it fully checks out.

Because Grian's not happy with Scar at this point!

Partially because Scar himself doesn't seem interested in Grian at all, wouldn't listen to Grian to the point of talking over and brushing him off when Grian tried to tell him, and didn't want to live together after finding out. For Grian, who genuinely did seem to have a rather romantic view of soulmates at the start of the first episode, it probably kinda sucked to have his soulmate look past him like that. I can't fault Scar for not being particularly interested, but just because Scar didn't do anything technically wrong doesn't mean Grian's not allowed to be unhappy.

And then there's the other problem. The one I see surprisingly few fans talk about in regards to Scar and Grian. "Why does everyone else get a real partner except me?", Grian asked shortly before deciding to go to BigB. It's a sentiment we get from Grian multiple times. He says being Scar's partner is like babysitting, like having a toddler, Scar doesn't feel like a partner, he feels like a source of emotional labor who has no interest in lessening the burden for Grian. And. Yeah. Grian has good reason to feel like Scar makes him do all the labor in their relationship. I mean, Grian needed to get very pushy to even get Scar to agree to help build their shared base, Grian had to do the job of managing Scar on what specific task to do, Grian gave Scar a very small job comparative to the work Grian was doing around the house, and Scar still complained and found a way to punish Grian (the powdered snow) for "making" him do "chores" and not wanting animals in the house.

Which isn't to say Scar is bad or malicious or something, I love Scar, hell, I love Desert Duo, I think they work very well together in a lot of cases, but I think there is very much a labor imbalance- both in actual work and in emotional labor- here and it's understandably upsetting for Grian.

And in comparison, BigB looks..wonderful, to Grian?

BigB wanted him, for starters. They both felt it, the previous day. Scar kept looking through Grian, but BigB's eyes met Grian's and they both felt something. BigB seems considerate too. Grian feels like he has to pull teeth to get Scar to help him with the house (and then gets punished for it), meanwhile BigB is the one who "saved" Grian the previous day, jumping to give him food, not to mention the considerate gesture of BigB checking in to make sure Grian is ready before hitting him for the soulmate check. And, well, Grian clearly likes BigB.

Grian wasn't just going to someone else to be mean to Scar, and he didn't go for BigB just because he wanted someone, Grian was- validly!- unhappy with Scar (who didn't seem to want to be together much either) and actively liked BigB and thought he'd be a good partner.

Also, Grian very notably announces that he's defying destiny and asserts that he has a choice in who to be with, which adds a thematic layer of personal agency to the whole thing too. You get the impression Grian was mostly with Scar because he felt like he had to be, because the universe tied them together. But here Grian considers, for the first time, the thought that maybe it's okay to be with someone he wants, and who makes him happy, instead of resigning himself to be with the one he's 'supposed' to be with just because he's 'supposed' to.

(this idea of agency in who you love is relevant to double life as a whole, as i've made many posts about, but also is relevant to desert duo specifically. as much as i think they really cared about each other in third life, grian was also with scar because he was supposed to be for most of the season. being with scar had always, up to that point, been something grian was obligated to do, something grian didn't feel he had much choice in. so grian finally asserting here to the audience that he has a choice feels very relevant thematically.)

(Wels-Pyjarmor guy returns to share more weird headcanons. Hi.) One of Keralis' many, many strange hobbies is playing bad matchmaker for his fellow hermits based entirely off speculating what their theoretical kids would look like. Highlights (lowlights?) include suggesting that xB and Beef should get together "to see whose beard shape wins", or that False and Tango should get together "to invent a new and blonder shade of blonde".

.

Secret Life if everyone had only one life

Most health losses remain the same as they were accidents: mobs, heights and generally being a little dumb.

Scott never stops Jimmy and Scar from talking as Jimmy has done severely better in this continuity never being out first, maybe he even joins in the conversation for a while before walking off.

With Third Life being completely different Scar never gives Grian the cactus monopoly as that has no significance. Perhaps he gives him sugarcane as Double Life has taken Third Lifes place as the birth of Scarian? Thinking about it Scarian would probably be referred by fandom as Bamboo duo or Panda Duo having been created in Double Life.

Session 1 remains basically the exact same for everything else mostly, same for most of session 2.

Martyn still goes to the Nether and is killed by the piglin, he is the first player out of the game.

Session 3 is where the changes start...

Joel doesn't reroll his task for a hard one as failing would basically mean being extremely close to being out, so he sticks with the deja vu task...which he likely fails as its a task that realistically I can't imagine someone being able to do at all without luck... This means he doesn't die failing the bucket clutch.

Jimmy still dies to the drowned and is out second, the big dogs never happen for obvious reasons. Gem still dies to an enderman while trying to do her task and is the third player out. Lizzie still dies to a skeleton on the water slide and is the fourth player out.

Martyn Isn't there to guess Tango's task so he likely succeeds, he gets 3 hearts and 7 items.

Grian's session 4 task is different as there are no yellows, the same is applied to all tasks that are based on the green-yellow-red life system from here on out, each of them has been slightly changed. In this case he simply needs to convince anyone that singing is his task, which he succeeds. This is easier as it allows for more people to be target but harder since It's harder to be sure you have fooled them without them calling you out as a yellow life...so it evens out. He still joins Cleo and Etho later.

Martyn is also not there to make Scar's life more miserable as he can't cause him to fail, Scar succeeds getting 6 hearts and 4 items.

Etho also never gets his task from Martyns suggestion so aHa Etho never happens.

The same that happened to Grian applies to Skizz, Skizz likely fails either way.

Lizzie is out so she also never makes the paths which means movement across the server is technically more difficult. Also Scotts task is likely failed without Lizzie.

Importantly, without Gem and with everyone having only one life they can't risk the dragon is likely never slain and Bdubs fails his hard task losing 10 hearts.

Without Gem there is also no tower off so no questionable mounder towers, Mumbo never climbs the now Gemless Scotts mountain to judge which is tallest and never falls to his death in the process.

BigB's task is different as stated before, so he probably doesn't betray the heart foundation. No trust issues this time around.

Tango and many others also never lose lifes because there are no red life tasks. Cleo race against Gem is also not a thing which means Cleos task is to simply get people to hand their doors.

Joel can't use Jimmy or Lizzie to target Scott (aka basically two of the few people willing to) so he likely fails his task.

Bdubs is still pushed in the zombie pit by Scar, Mumbo still falls in lava, Skizz still dies to something as his health is extremely low and BigB still dies while fighting the wither. They are fifth, sixth, seventh and eighth out respectively.

With only one life Grian likely doesn't run in front of the wither to press the button, he doesn't die yet... however he does likely have extremely low health so he probably dies against the wither anyway. He's the ninth player out. (Or eight if he dies before BigB)

Scott has the charisma to still complete his task without Gem, so he does. Scott also has 1 heart, he probably dies even without trading his life to Martyn.

Gem is already out of the game, there is no boogeyman/zombie apocalypse in session 7 so ... nobody dies, not even Tango who is never killed by BigB's dog as BigB is out and is later also not killed by the non existant zombie army.

There's also no Angel Jimmy as Grian is out of the game and can't get the task.

At this point in time there are 7 players left in the game: Pearl, Joel, Impulse, Cleo, Etho, Tango and Scar.

Everyone also has very little hearts each as there have been no respawns... Which means when that creeper explodes next to Pearl...she probably doesn't survive it, tenth player out, 6 to go... Knowing Joel erratic behavior gets worse without his teammates he's likely to accidentally kill himself sometimes soon... 5 left.

The last 5: Impulse, Tango, Cleo, Etho and Scar. I can see Impulse and Tango working together... Seeing the weird competition between Scar and Heart foundation I think Tango and Impulse target and kill Scar, 4 left...

Cleo does the nice vs naughty thing, I don't think she gets to kill anyone but I think someone kills them in response... Maybe dogs if she's accidentally punched... 3 left.

With Impulse working with Tango I think they work together to kill Etho putting him in third leaving those two to fight for the win as the finalists... I think Impulse has a higher chance to win...just slightly, the difference isn't that severe, but I think in this case Impulse wins.

The winner of secret life is Saturn.

(Third Life)

(Last Life)

(Double Life)

(Limited Life)

Thought I should make a pinned post because from here on out it may be necessary.

Hi! I’m Tsippi, and I go by Tsippi. I don’t really care what pronouns you use for me. I am also a minor! +18 blogs DNI!

Here is my current list of sideblogs:

@tsippibutgendercrisis

@tsippithejew

@tsippidoesnormalhumanthings

@tsippitriestodoithimself

About me: I am queer, Jewish, Zionist, autistic (I consider myself to be disabled), I am currently learning about DIY, and I think dragons are awesome!

Warning, in case you missed it the first time, I am a Zionist! If this makes you uncomfortable, feel free to block me or simply not interact! To be clear, I do not hate Palestinians, and I do not want the people in Gaza to die, or anything like that. What I do believe is that Israel has a right to,and should, exist in it’s current location as a Jewish state.

If this is formatted awfully let me know, but I’m not sure if I can do much.

in parkour civilisation, gender doesn’t exist, me gender is parkour and I use par/kour pronouns /silly

That was true until YOU ATE A RAW ONION LIKE AN APPLE! RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!