I Want To Be Skinny

Holy god I was gone for a long time lmao. just cycling through addictions and ig obsession with insta and twitter is over for now xD

I rlly need to start getting more active. not only on tumblr but also on a daily basis. like more steps. more dancing. more basically anything. if I want to lose weight that is like no. 1 requirement yet all I do is lay in bed. I'm so tired and sick of looking the way I am. I hate myself.

The people telling me to stop and that I don’t need to be skinny to be pretty, yeah theyre all thin. They’re all pretty.

So stfu. Stfu and worry when I look better than you.

Accurate

my heart is stupid

Me trying to work out after eating like an actual animal for 7 months

I'm not crying you are 🥺

actually you will not enjoy hearing this but you literally have to abandon your self deprecating humor. besides the fact that it can drive people away you literally are only hurting yourself by constantly making jokes that further cement the idea in your head that you are not good enough. I do not care that you think its a good coping mechanism it is absolutely not and you need to start challenging negative thoughts instead of feeding into them.

Currently 2 of my former friends (I don't consider us to be close because we don't talk anymore lol) posted these on insta and they're both super skinny like every time I would see them in our former school I would be so jealous and only stare at their legs and the way they moved. They always seemed so light and carefree.

At work there's a woman even skinnier than them and every time she walks by I also get super jealous. Everyone around me just seems to have their shit together and then I'm over here lying in bed doing absolutely nothing except disappointing my parents with every second that passes, stuffing my fat face at home and also at work. Like can you imagine that I just go to the store on the opposite side of my workplace and buy stuff that together has over 1000 calories

all I think about is calories yet that doesn't stop me from stuffing my fat face