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as a geology nerd, i LOVE this

Here is a potentially silly question: how do you feel about birthstones? Do you think they fit the months (by season or astrological sign)? Do you have other stones you'd rather see as birthstones?

Okay, so, birthstones make absolutely no sense.

I mean, look at this mess. We’re doing beryl and corundum twice! I get that they get Special Different Names for their Special Different Colors, but it's just lazy. And why are we giving some months cheap, common gemstones like garnet and amethyst while the poor June birthdays have to shell out tens of thousands of dollars for FREAKING ALEXANDRITE? That’s incredibly unfair! We should be picking birthstones that are all roughly the same price. And why do some months get multiple gemstones? I’ll tell you why: because nobody can agree on an official list and every attempt to standardize this thing has just added MORE birthstones to every month.

So obviously the answer is to standardize it again, by throwing out everything and starting over. Here are our goals:

Fair pricing. You should be paying roughly the same amount regardless of what month you were born in. We’re getting rid of those ridiculous outliers like diamond and alexandrite.

More customization potential! Nobody should be stuck with a stone they hate. We’re picking gemstones that come in multiple colors or varieties, so that everyone can choose a variant they like.

Wearability. Some birthstones are too fragile to be worn as jewelry. We need to replace them with stronger stuff.

No more duplicate gemstones. Every month gets a stone or family of stones with a unique chemical composition.

Now without further ado, I present to you:

The New And Improved List Of Birthstones With No Problems Or Flaws That Everyone Will Definitely Agree On And We Can Start Using Right Now Immediately

JANUARY: GARNET

I've got no problem with garnet. It's a fine, classic birthstone, so January can keep it. But I would like to see a little more garnet diversity. January birthdays shouldn’t be confined to just red. The garnet family of minerals contains a rainbow of different colors, like orange hessonite, green uvarovite, pink rhodolite, yellow grandite, and many more. They’re all garnet, so we should be wearing them all!

FEBRUARY: QUARTZ

The original birthstone of February was amethyst, which is… kinda boring. Super cheap and common and you only get one color? No, we can do better. February gets ALL the quartzes now. Keep wearing amethyst if you want, but also feel free to branch out into clear quartz, citrine, rose quartz, smoky quartz, rutilated quartz, tiger eye… actually, take all the agates too. If it’s quartz, it’s yours!

MARCH: SPODUMENE

March was originally aquamarine, but I’ll be giving all the beryls to May, so we need a different stone here. Let’s stick with that theme of pale pastels and go with spodumene. For an April birthday, bedeck yourself in green hiddenite, pink kunzite, or yellow triphane. Despite its subtle colors, your birthstone has some amazing fluorescence, with really cool pinks and oranges under a UV light.

APRIL: FELDSPAR

Diamond is too pricy for this list, so we’re replacing it with something less expensive and way more interesting. April will now be represented by the feldspar family. We’re talking labradorite, moonstone, amazonite, aventurine, and sunstone. While you don’t have much variety in color, your stones are full of shimmery schiller which glitters and shifts as it catches the light.

MAY: BERYL

May’s original birthstone was emerald, which is great and can stay, but we’re also adding its siblings! May is now represented by all beryls: Emerald, Aquamarine, Morganite, Bixbite, Heliodor, Goshenite, and whatever other varieties I’m forgetting to list. A bright and saturated rainbow of colors is represented here, so everyone born in May is sure to find something they like.

JUNE: ORGANIC GEMSTONES AND FOSSILS

It’s time to address the alexandrite in the room, and obviously we’re getting rid of alexandrite. A stone worth $15,000 to $70,000 a carat does not belong on the same list as friggin amethyst. Instead we’ll look at the other traditional June birthstone, pearl. The problem with pearl is that it’s a clear outlier in this list. An organic gemstone, by some definitions not even a mineral. Should we replace it? NO. We are OWNING it. All organic gemstones now belong to June. Pearl is joined here by jet, amber, coral, ivory, ammolite, petrified wood… in fact, June can have every fossil ever.

JULY: SPINEL

July was originally represented by ruby, which is a fine stone and won’t be kicked off the birthstone list - we’re just shuffling it down to September. Replacing ruby for July is spinel. (See, it’s funny because historically spinel has often been mistakenly identified as ruby! That's a little gemology humor for you.) Available in any hue you could possibly desire, spinel offers some nice color options to a month that previously only featured red. Of course if you want to keep wearing red, red spinel mimics ruby so well that you’ll barely notice the difference.

AUGUST: PERIDOT

Nope, we’re not changing this one. Peridot is the ideal gemstone and you ungrateful August whiners can die mad about it. HOW ABOUT YOU LEARN TO APPRECIATE PERFECTION

SEPTEMBER: CORUNDUM

Sapphire is a wonderful, classic stone and it deserves its spot on this list. But the corundum family has been separated for far too long, and we’re finally going to reunite them. Joining sapphire in September is its sister ruby. Between the pinks and reds of ruby and the many, many colors of sapphire, these two stones give September a nice variety of colors.

OCTOBER: TOURMALINE

Look, as gorgeous as opal is and as much as I love it, it is both way too pricy for our list and also TERRIBLE in jewelry. This stone is just too brittle to wear around from day to day and can be ruined just by getting it wet, which makes wearing your birthstone a huge hassle. We’ll kick opal out and hang on to October’s other traditional birthstone, tourmaline. Pink tourmaline may be classic, but this stone comes in plenty of other colors. Whether it’s brown dravite, watermelon elbaite, or the rare and beautiful blue indicolite, you can wear them all!

NOVEMBER: TOPAZ

November can keep topaz, but we’re not confining it to the color yellow. This stone comes in a huge variety of colors, and now they can ALL represent November. No further notes; it’s a nice, classic stone.

DECEMBER: ZIRCON

I dunno, I’ve had to come up with 12 of these, I’m burnt out. Sure, zircon, whatever.

“BUT WAIT,” you say. “Now instead of having a single color assigned to each month, almost every month is represented by almost every color, making it impossible to tell anyone’s birthstones apart and removing what made them special and recognizable as symbols!”

Well CLEARLY you didn’t read the title of this list.

I like your fixation on a cozy little pet cage - ever been ‘owned’ in reality before?

hello! thanks for the ask!

i had a long distance relationship with a dominant who i met up with occasionally but that ended a few years ago. i would consider that relationship one where he ‘owned’ me. however, it’s been a while since i have been in a d/s dynamic.

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When doms hit you with that “aww, you poor thing” in that mocking, fake sympathy voice

i’m usually not a big fan of asks, but this set looked interesting!!

UNUSUAL NSFW ASKS

Wanted to create some more unique questions for y'all. Feel free to reblog and ask :3

What are the ideal nudes that someone could send you?

Have you ever humped a pillow until you came? Would you?

Hottest food someone can eat?

Genie granted you three NSFW wishes. What are you wishing for?

Something you did in bed and would NEVER do again?

Something you did in bed and would LOVE to do again?

Something you never did in bed and would rather never do?

Something you never did in bed and would love to do?

Look around yourself. You are EXTREMELY horny. What unusual object are you using to get off?

What slasher killer would you love to get railed by and why?

What kink/fantasy of yours are you the most embarrassed about? Why?

What’s the weirdest thing that turned you on? Did you masturbate to it? Would you do it again?

What is your darkest kink?

What body part would you worship on other people to the end of time because NGHHHH?

Are you happy with the type of genital you have? If not, would you want the opposite? Why?

You masterbated yourself to starvation. What’s the top number 1 food you crave RN?

What’s the best term that describes you sexually?

You can do only ONE thing to your partner sex-wise for an entire month. What is your pick?

Would you be able to go full month just pleasing your partner daily, without getting anything back?

What hairstyle you find attractive?

What video of you would you love to take sometimes? Why haven’t you yet?

What’s a toy you’d love to use? Why?

What’s your favourite thing about a quickie?

Have you or would you ever masturbate with toothpaste/tiger balm/numbing balm etc.?

Have you ever kissed someone of the same gender? What’s the best part on it?

What’s the most flattering thing someone’s said about your naked body?

What’s a part of clothing you would love to see your crush/partner in?

What does your ideal one night stand look like?

Do you have a favourite CNC scenario? Which is it?

Favourite position to give oral? And to receive?

What’s your fantasy celebrity threesome?

What is your most unusual turn on?

Do you have some songs you wanna get railed to?

What’s your opinion on anal?

Do you like to have rough sex? What you love the most?

Do you like to have sensual sex? What you love the most?

What’s your opinion on sexting?

Do you like getting teased in public? Why or why not?

What’s your biggest sexual pet peeve?

What are you favourite pet names to be called during sex?

What’s the best orgasm you had in past months?

Do you like going commando?

What language is the sexiest?

Is FreeUse hot? Why?

What would you love to roleplay as in bed?

What scent you find arousing?

Favourite way of being degraded?

Favourite way of being praised?

Favourite thing to do when dominating?

Favourite thing to do when being dominated?

Have you ever tried something only for it to become a hard limit of yours? How so?

Would you be willing to try something off limits? If yes, what would the circumstances have to be?

Do you like to be intoxicated during sex? How? Why?

Would you like to expose yourself/get exposed? If yes, are there some limits?

Best romantic evening setting, go!

Best sexual evening setting, go!

Would you watch porn with your partner? What would be your pick?

Would you ever participate in a goon day/weekend?

Would you ever participate in Locktober?

Would you ever participate in NoNutNovember?

Do you like tattoos or piercings on your partner? What would be the best places for them to have them?

What is a sex-challenge you would create? Would you do it with your partner or solo?

What is something you always wanted to ask your partner but didn’t had the courage to?

What is something you would love your partner to forget about you?

Is there a kink/fetish you would like your partner to have? Why?

Is there a kink/fetish you would like your partner NOT to have? Why?

Considering you ABSOLUTELY WOULD HAVE to do the next thing your partner will ask you to. What do YOU wish that would be?

Do you trust your partner enough to be their no-limit sex slave for 24 hours? Why not? What would be the limits?

Would you let your partner pimp you out?

THIS OR THAT?

Ropes or Cuffs?

Furries or Robots?

Fully naked or Fully clothed?

Take Erotic photos of someone or Let someone take erotic photos of you?

What’s a better gag? Panties or Socks?

Creampie or Throatpie?

Cuck someone or Get cucked?

Blunt pain or Sharp pain?

Obedient sub or Bratty sub?

Forever watch porn or Forever read porn

Proffesional or Amateur porn?

Feet or Hands?

Lights on or lights off?

Have a harem of men or Have a harem of women?

Truth or dare or FapRoulette?

Multiple orgasms vs Orgasm denial?

Nylons or Fishnets?

Pet or Slave?

Worship ass or Worship feet?

Mommy/Daddy or Master/Mistress?

Bites vs Slaps?

Bruises vs Cuts?

Latex or Leather?

FOR PEOPLE WITH VAGINAS:

Do you like your clit touched? How is it best?

Favourite way to jerk off?

Best thing about having a vagina?

What’s the nicest compliment you ever got about your vagina? What you think should be complimented on it?

FOR PEOPLE WITH PENISES:

Favorite blowjob technique?

Favorite way to jerk off?

Best thing about having a penis?

What’s the nicest compliment you ever got about your penis? What you think should be complimented on it?

BONUS QUESTIONS!

Are you satisfied with your sex life? If not, what would you change? If yes, is there something you would still like to improve to make it even better?

Are you satisfied with yourself in bed? What you think you lack? What you think you excel at?

Did you found out something new about yourself?

Considering you and your sex life, is there something you are so PROUD OF you would brag about it on reddit? (Or tumblr lol, Stole this from reddit)

Considering you are going to have sex today, what are some things you would love to experience?

I wanna buy pull ups or diapers so bad but I’m nervous 🙈🥺

Hitting it Raw.

jellycats fossilly dinosaurs in small/mini :)

want a dom who will control my hits when i smoke. commanding how long i inhale and how many hits i should take to make me a dizzy as they want them. want them to drug me out to their desire so when they're touching me i wont be able to comprehend whats happening to me > < !!

recently i’ve been wearing ribbons in my hair a lot and it’s been making me feel so cute and ditzy.

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