Life-changing OCD Hack Is Learning That You Can Literally Call Poison Control To Check If You Fucked

Someone go check if furbies have toe beans.

Remember: toe beans are the sign of a killer.

Scout: I always keep a bat by my bed.

Spy: I sleep with a gun under my pillow.

Sniper: I sleep with a knife.

Medic: Ho ho ho, the three of you are pathetic.

Scout: Oh yeah? What do you sleep with?

Medic: Heavy.

People who think sheep are killed for their wool are so hilarious to me. Does your barber slit your throat whenever you get a haircut?? Are you a returning customer to Sweeney Todd? Lmao it grows back, fools.

Like this?

tumblr will always be a better website than twitter because you can only retweet a tweet once, whereas on this website if i really like a post i can make my followers scroll past it twelve times in a row

creeping (he wants leftovers) more abt him utc

this is my boy cinders! he's been with me for around 11 years now, i met him in alola when my family lived there briefly during my childhood. he's an absolute cuddle fiend and very clingy!!!!

he's one of my four "retired" battle team members (i use retired loosely because we do an occasional trainer battle and traverse routes together still :])! also byfar the most eager for fights when we have them

cinders is out of his ball nearly all the time, usually he perches himself on my shoulder or will hitch a ride in whatever bag im wearing. he acts like a little purse lillipup

spirits say no

BREAKING NEWS: Writer discovers for the millionth time that they can write whatever they want. Join us now to see if the lesson will stick.

definitely something that would be used to help people and not anything else