Peeling Those Sour Rainbow Gummy Strips Into Long Thin Strings And Putting Them Into Cheap Energy Drink

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*Speaking quickly* So before Halloween I decided to get online and try to look for some abandoned cemeteries.

So I ended up finding one but it was in the middle of the woods so I decided to just plug some coordinates and take a chance. And I found something a helluva lot scary.

As I am walking the path to find this abandoned cemetery, um… *voice getting louder* Hands! Hands! Everywhere!!

By now you’re probably thinking to yourself, easyise, hands don’t just crawl what are you talking about? You would be correct.

Um- SPIDERS! FUCKING SPIDERS! DRACULARACHNIDS THE SIZE OF MY FUCKING HAND!!!

So after pissing myself and driving home, uh- I came home and looked it up on the internet and found exactly what it was I saw.

*Louder voice but not quite yelling* And here it is fam! Uh people like to call ‘em golden silk orb weaver *voice getting louder* but I like to call them NIGHTMARE FUEL DIPPED IN YELLOW FUCKING PAINT.

*Yelling* YOU SEE THE UNHOLY SIZE OF- THERE IS NOTHING AMAZING ABOUT THAT ON YOUR FACE!!

WHAT KIND OF ALIEN VS PREDATOR SCP SATAN SHIT-

IS THAT ONE EATING A FUCKING BIRD?!?!

THIS THING IS LIKE VOLDEMORT FUCKED A DEMAGORGON BUT SURE LET’S PUT IT ON A GREETING CARD!!!

*In a incredulous tone* SATAN DOESN’T EXIST?!?! THEN WHY WAS I MET WITH A FOREST-FUL OF THIS SHIT?

CHECKMATE ATHEISTS!

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who else is in the mood to walk barefoot over the moors in a blood-red velvet ballgown w anguish in ur soul and wet leaves in ur hair while the wind blows moodily and dramatically?

shout out to ace and aro kids who are constantly bombarded with the opinion that sex and romantic love are directly connected to living a happy life.

octopuses die after they have sex for the first time by the way. and squidward just happens to still be alive and well.

Here is the full version of my first comic for The Nib, which went up yesterday.

instagram/ patreon/  portfolio

Just saw someone describe pregnancy as body horror and I have never felt more understood.

What a handsome boy

Face to face with a 90 year old turtle

🎥: Nicholas Breaux

Hide from vet. Tail is good hiding spot. Vet never find me here. Not gonna get poked today. No sir.

I identify as “dangerous”

i love the concept of full body armor. my gender is anyone's guess but i sure am armed and dangerous.

I WAS SO WORRIED AT FIRST BUT THIS WAS LIKE THE BEST SURPRISE EVER