Doing My Duty By Transing My Babygirl.

shoutout to soldier tf2

I just think he’s neat :)

"My best friends are some of the most talented aspiring mages in the world," you boast. "They're courageous and strong. They have such bright futures."

Ace and Deuce are standing 20 feet behind you. Their mouths are full of soda. They're taking turns slapping each other in the face to see who spits the soda out first. Grim is refereeing. He agreed to referee because Ace bribed him with a half eaten chocolate bar he found abandoned on a bench.

How To Tell Your Cat That You Could Walk To His Food Faster If He Weren't Weaving Under Your Fucking Feet In A Beautiful And Intricate Idiot's Ballet

remembering the time I called american psycho (a satirical film about toxic masculinity) a dark comedy and the overwhelming response was 'oh so u think men killing sex workers is funny? u think THAT'S funny?' like no I find a patrick batemen listening to 'i'm walking on sunshine', killing jared leto while wearing a clear raincoat and giving a dissertation on huey lewis n the news, using 'I need to return some video tapes' to get out of awkward situations, throwing a hissy fit about business cards, dropping a chainsaw down a flight of stairs, thinking an atm is telling him to feed it cats, and crying hysterically under a desk is funny. but thank u for ur wonderful insight

it’s very levelheaded and honestly so respectable of tommy’s response to be so calm. and for him to end it with encouraging dream to get help and telling him that he doesn’t always have to keep doing things like this/being like this, when everything dream was throwing out there at him and accusing him of i wouldn’t have blamed him for responding 10x more aggressively to. dream was painting him as this legitimate villain that had orchestrated every single bad thing in his life, and holding vague blackmail over his friends heads, and he just departed with nice advice. if that doesn’t tell you everything abt what’s going on here idk what will

PART TWO

LESS miguel o’hara fanart of him looking sexily at the camera pulling up his shirt or whatever. MORE miguel o’hara fanart of him crying pathetically in the bathroom

No one asked but my most important flashfire hc is that pyro is very funny and silly and scout is ride or die for all their bits, if nobody got pyro, scout's got pyro. Scout will absolutely egg them on and they are each other's silly besties

“Like the Batman Knockoff he was always meant to be” CRYING

When I first watched ATSV I thought Miguel's backstory was "my family (which had died in my universe) was alive in this other universe, and the me from that universe just died, so I took his place to be with my family again (who then, of course, all died in the glitch-fest)"

And like, damn imagine going from your "I couldn't save them" guilt in your universe to "I got them killed" guilt in the other universe. That would understandably mess someone up.

BUT, when I watched it a second time, it sounded like Miguel's actual backstory was more like "no I never had a family in my own universe or anything, but I found a universe where parallel!me DID have a family and he just died so I just went 'guess I'm Dad now'."

Which is like. Still very tragic but so much funnier. Miguel showed up one day and went "oh I died that sucks. hey that kid is my daughter now." without so much as a second thought. Scooped her up on sight. Reverse cuckoo-nested that kid. Home-unwrecked that family. Miguel O'Hara said "hey is anyone else gonna adopt my daughter?" and did not wait for an answer. FUNNIER if he just went "this is my wife now, too."

If he weren't so busy angsting and butt-modeling would he just haphazardly adopt all the under-18 Spidermen? Miguel "You don't have to go save your dad Miles I am your dad" O'Hara. Miguel "You said I could hold Mayday you never said I had to give her back" O'Hara. Miguel "I'm not mad I'm just disappointed in you Hobie" O'Hara.

Motherfucker's so afraid of sneezing and erasing a canon event otherwise he'd be fluffed up over a brood of spider-teens in his lair like the Batman-knockoff he was always meant to be.

Girls will be boys

Boys will be girls

Fascists will 💖 be shot💖