PART TWO

joking that an adult character who acts childish doesnt know what sex is will never be as funny as saying the same thing about a big tough murderman videogame protag

sometimes i forget wizardposting isn’t a regular occurrence on any other website. what do you mean your posts don’t randomly get taken over my evil wizards casting spells on your peunis

crimeboys you agree. reblog

my current dark urge is a half-elf bard named fern and they’re just,,

romancing wyll

spent majority of act 1 shoving astarion whenever he said something witty then kills anyone else who does it

freaking out whenever shadowheart or wyll gets downed

usually gives the pretty items to shadowheart or wyll

looks vaguely amused by everything

constantly bloody

continuously says “first in my heart” whenever talking to wyll or gale

minsc and boo are their new best friends (sorry gale)

is currently hoarding clown parts

despite having viscous mockery, barely uses it and always gets cursed by it

i think they’d be an anxious squirrel if they were an animal

Jergal, the scribe of the dead, the archivist—this three fates motherfucker who refuses to elaborate on personal questions but waxes philosophical about your adventure, protects you, ensures your success, brings you back into the fray, puts you back on your feet, helps you mold yourself into whatever you want to be, this strange reverse-psychopomp—is the only god who did not reject Astarion.

Astarion, a finicky undead who went to law school once upon a time who is never seen at camp without a book in his hands. Astarion who passes more perception and insight checks than anyone else in my games. Astarion with his mediocre Charisma stat but higher than average Intelligence stat. Astarion who ONE HUNDRED PERCENT probably put together who Old Man Withers was but just shrugged like "I got other shit going on and I'm not about to kick a skeleton out of the closet."

I want Old Man Withers as Astarion's Grampa Figure. Astarion CALLING Withers an elvish equivalent of "Gramps". (U'osi/U'osu?? That's so cute wtf)

reverse gaslighting where i pretend to know exactly what you are talking about

My friends and I used to do this thing where we'd dress up on a theme and go do something totally normal.

We dressed up as pirates and went bowling.

We dressed as vikings and went to the grocery store. The security guard told us we had to move our longship because it was illegally parked.

We dressed as Romans and went to Blockbuster. The staff chanted, "toga! Toga! Toga!" at us.

We dressed up all steampunk and went to the museum. Tourists kept taking our picture.

the addams family 🤝 scooby doo : being adapted into mean spirited versions of themselves by writers that don’t understand the characters