They’re So Silly

hello my hand is gonna fall off

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i will never forgive popular UT fanon for using chara as a scapegoat in the genocide run and making "sans recognizes them and attacks them on sight regardless of what run they're in" headcanons so pervasive.

mostly because "restless spirit of a long dead child who's obsessed with the concept of cosmic retribution and facing consequences for your actions" + "guy whose job is just that but he treats it on par with his hot dog sidegig" is potentially one of the most hysterical dynamics you could come up with

UPDATE: you should REALLY check out the notes on this one

scout, pauling here. the administrator wants me to tell you to stop sending death threats to spy on animal jam. of course she knows. scout these are company computers. no i, no. i don't care if sniper was doing it too. she wants you to stop. look i don't care who started it but she needs you for this job and you have to stop. no, scout. no I don't know how the filters work. just stop talking and listen to me scout. stop it.

I fucking love the differences between Epic and Odyssey Telemachus

Epic!Telemachus: I wanna be legendary! I want to go on adventures and fight monsters! My dad is the coolest! I'm a bit sheltered and naive!

Odyssey!Telemachus: I am going to hang a dozen traitors so they die slowly and then cut off a man's dick and feed it to the dogs. Please don't make me talk to people

Humans are space orcs, but humans are real fucking sneaky and don't tell anyone they're predators after realizing that other sentient species are all prey. It starts out as wanting to assimilate without any negative stigma, but eventually they realize that we're really alone as sentient predators.

So q human goes on a research ship and that ship gets stranded on a deathworld and everyone freaks put bc they don't know how to handle this but the human's just like 'build shelter, hunt food, start a fire' and they're all like 'hunt food???!!' And they human's like 'shit'.

So they see a human climb trees, throw shit, track prey and realize 'oh no, that thing could kill us' but the human's helping and they don't really have the man power to get rid of them.

And eventually they realize the whole pack bonding thing is stronger than the predatory instincts and are relieved

"A while ago, the headmage warned me not to keep too many gargoyles because the floors might cave in... But in my opinion, the actual problem here is the durability of the floors. I hardly think I deserve to be reproached."

"There were a lot of gargoyles around the campus that needed repairing. It was a lot of work to carry each of those back to my (club?)room to do repair work on them but... He told me he didn't even ask me to do that. What a rude man."

????????? 😭😭😭 Even with such a bratty nonsense attitude he's so cute?! And isn't their interaction kinda like a dad telling off his son?!

i literally love when people realize positive reinforcement works like yes its so silly isnt it. but it literally works humans love juice reward too

mob: sniffle ..... hrgng .... dimple ... was a friend ... *sobbing noises*

the next episode preview: mob and co are looking for ALIENS ⁉️👽😲 and I'm DRIVING THEM THERE ⁉️😱‼️‼️ tune in next week 🌟💥😀

Ok but honestly most of the Durge romances in my opinion are cute

Like,, Lae’zel and Durge? LOVE THEM LOVE THOSE TWO RECOVERING FROM BEING FORCED TO BELIEVE THEY WERE ONLY USES WERE BEING WEAPONS!! FINDING SOLACE IN ONE ANOTHER?? LOVE ME SOME OF THAT!!

Astarion and Durge? LOVE THOSE IDIOTS!! TRAUMATIZED DUMBASSES BEING EACH OTHER’S SUPPORT AND BECOMING BETTER PEOPLE!! CONCERNED STABBING PARTNERS MAKING A NEW FUTURE FOR THEMSELVES?? HELL YEAH!!

Wyll and Durge? LOVE THEM!!! PROTECTOR OF THE PEOPLE AND EX-DESTROYER OF THE PEOPLE?? HAVING FAITH IN ONE ANOTHER?? BELIEVING THE OTHER TO BE THE DEFINITION OF GOOD??? LOVE IT!!!

Gale and Durge? LOVE THEM!! UNCONDITIONAL LOVE AND DEVOTION AND SHOWING EACH OTHER WHAT TRUE CARE AND LOVE IS?? LOVE THEM!!!

Minthara and Durge? LOVE THEM!! ACCEPTING THE OTHERS REGARDLESS OF FLAWS AND SEEING THE OTHER AS BEAUTIFUL AND PERFECT AND SUPPORTING?? LOVE THOSE TWO!!

Halsin and Durge? FINDING COMFORT IN ONE ANOTHER AND HAVING TRUST AND REASSURING EACH OTHER OF THEIR GOODNESS?? AUUUGGH!!!!

Karlach and Durge? ‘EFF IT!! LETS GO BEAT UP THAT GUY WHO SCREWED YOU OVER AND ALSO BEAT UP MY SISTER WHO SCREWED ME OVER AND THEN LETS GO TO THE PARK AND CUDDLE!! LOVE THESE TWO!! THEY DESERVE TO KISS AND HUG AND JUST TO BE HAPPY!!

okay but dark urge and Shadowheart romance and friendship is just so sweet to me and not talked about enough

like look at those two traumatized amnesiac murder babies!! look at them recovering and becoming better than what their gods made them!! look at them!! they’re holding hands!! and defying the gods!! look at them!! good for them!!

Rewatching Umbrella Academy for when the fourth season comes out, and damn, Five went through a LOT, and it’s not really acknowledged. Like, the kid saw his entire family DEAD when he was thirteen, and had to learn how to survive on his own. Sure, he was always witty, but that’s still a lot for a kid to go through, and I can’t imagine how he dealt with it by himself for so many years.