Meltdown Diaries #1

meltdown diaries #1

why is finding friends so hard i don't understand. I don't think I've had a friend irl or even really talked to someone my age in 2 years. I dont know what's so wrong with me. I'm 17, I'm supposed to have sorted this out by now. I don't know how to fix myself, I swear I've grown in these two years. don't know if it's my autism again but i just need friends. I like friends. I like talking. I have autistic peers at college and they have friends, but they all have their own groups and I feel like I don't fit. i just need something, someone. theres no clubs where I live so I don't even know where to find friends. the only thing I have is work college and my bed, and I can't go on like this. I just need the world to be gentle, just for once. I just want to laugh with someone who isn't my 15 year old sister who has to talk to me because we live in the same house. Im just tired, so tired. feel like I'll be alone forever, and I swear I'm a better person. I'm just shy. I wish I was normal, but it's always been this way, and it always will