And Then I Realized That I Have A Type On MC: People That Have Suffered Enough And Just Want To Take

Them.

Commission

Their first month anniversary prob was something like this:

Roy: happy anniversary, jaybird. I got you that set of knives you were looking for last week (he pull an all nighter just trying to find a way to ship them on time)

Jason: *panicking because he didn't know it was their anniversary* thank you, Roy, you didn't have to. I have reservations for dinner tonight, don't make plans. (he later was calling all the fancy restaurants he knew just to find a reservation for that night)

Jason is exhausted, injured and anxious, he doesn't want to sleep alone in his flat. So in the middle of the night, he infiltrates Roy's who's already asleep. Jason tends to his own injury, takes his clothes off and slips in the bed next to him. Feeling the warmth of someone's body against his skin helps him feel safe and fall asleep.

The next morning, Roy wakes up to a quasi naked Jason laying next to him. His mind is going ape shit as he wonders if he got too drunk last night. Later, Jason is wandering all chill in his apartment as Roy silently loses his mind trying to recall the night before.

Jason's subconscious : Ah, I'm so lucky to have Roy in my life. Really brings me the affection and support I need to heal. He doesn't even realize it. What a great friend !

Roy's subconscious : Did I do it ?! Did I ?? Fuck, I finally did it and can't even remember, what a loser. Did I fuck him ? I clearly didn't get fucked... So did I ?! Did I do it ??

My man

Cale on his king maker side quests is so funny.

"you are the emperor now" Cale said, after obliterating A*in.

Everytime I think about Sir Rex's situation I lose it. Just try putting yourself in his shoes.

You're about to get revenge from the vile monsters responsible for your friend and family suffering. Putting your life on the line, you attempted to murder the Vice Tower master after years of spying and infiltrating the knight order but failed miserably.

As you're caught in a dead end, this stranger who isn't even from your continent, a representative of a foreign allied country who received a medal of honor from the crown prince of your empire -you had one conversation with- recognize you in your cat form-that you kept hidden-, saved and healed you.

He easily guesses your whole plan and acknowledge your franckly terribly sad and traumatizing backstory. He somehow is aware of the alchemy tower wrongdoings and much more and is going to help you. He has spies and allies working for him in the country he supposedly only visited twice.

When you're finally healed he looks you dead in the eye and says you're gonna be emperor... after exposing his plans of overthrowing the power in place, destroying the alchemy tower, making the sun churches saint and saintess-supposed dead by the way-forge a new church. He gives you books on how to be a ruler and manage an empire.

And all you have to do while THINGS are happening is read books in that room and make an appearance at the very end.

Why is he doing all this? He says he want a partnership for his kingdom which will also benefit you in the future.

And while you're still tripping and reviewing your life's purpose you meet his two cats- actually children from the same tribe as you -which you weren't really aware of- who explains to you what being a fog cat is and the litteral basics of living while calling you a fucking weakling and their lil bro/servant.

An AU in which Jason, upon returning to Gotham, gets really swept up into the whole crime lord thing, and never gets the time to go through with his revenge plan.

It starts small. He comes back and gets to work, and after a while, he has managed to carve out some of the crime from crime alley. This gets him noticed among some of the people there. One night, a group of thugs approach him, but instead of wanting to fight him, they want to work for him.

Jason, still fresh, with not much revenue coming for him yet, tells them that he isn't hiring because he cannot exactly pay them much. The thugs say that it doesn't matter, because they like what he is doing, and would like to be in on it anyway, and, well. If Jason has help managing other things, he can dedicate more time on his bigger plan, right?

Wrong. Things start to move much quicker now, and that means that more people come in and want to work for him. At this point Jason has money coming in, and he starts paying them, too, which makes more people come in, which in turn makes more money to come in as well. Jason can pay them more, and suddenly he notices a difference in many of the goons he has on his roster now. They seem happier. They joke more, many of them have better clothes on them, and they don't look so gaunt anymore, either.

Jason asks about it, once, and the goon tells him that they have had the money to buy actual groceries and new pair of boots, which makes living a lot more comfortable. They even got to buy their kid a new winter jacket! Now, if they save up a little bit, they will be able to get their kid new school books as well!

And Jason, Crime Alley boy Jason, who loved school and reading, feels his heart strings being violently yanked. Don't worry about the books, he says. I will take care of it.

At the end of the month, he has managed to organise a book delivery system for all the Crime Alley kids, where they get school books and picture books and science books about dinosaurs and angient Egypt and all that. He tells his goons that for every kid that stays in school for the semester, he will give them a bonus.

It works wonders. The amount of kids dropping out from school gets cut by 60 percent just during the first semester. The book system grows, and suddenly Jason finds himself pushing some money to get the old local library running again, to make things a bit easier. He even hires some people to run the system for him. Suddenly, he is like actually employing people. He needs an accountant. He hires one for himself, and then another one to run other funds.

Things just keep escalating after that. Local parent group starts to have meetings in the new library, and they put up a babysitting club and start a clothes exhange program as well, where you can bring all the clothes that are too small for you, and people get to take what they need home. A soup kitchen starts as well, first because the kids need snacks, and then it grows so much that Jason needs to find a place for it to run effectively and safely. Many local restaurants get into it as well, and their business starts to rise as well, because people who are fed and have warm clothes have more time and energy to seek for jobs. Many of them are still employed within just Crime Alley, though, because jobs elsewhere require an adress, and some people don't have those.

Jason thinks about himself, after his parents died, on the streets, trying to survive, and thinks never again. He tells his accountant to start budgeting for housing.

He needs to hire more people for it. He needs to run his crime empire, after all, he doesn't have the time for this.

He has so many people working for him now. There are a few thugs that were previously employed by other Gotham Rogues coming in as well, because they have heard good things about the Red Hood. The other Rogues are in and out of the prison or Arkham all the time and the pay isn't reliable and there is a high chance that you will get beaten up by one of the bats as well, and they don't really get offered medical services by their bosses, you know?

There's another thing. Jason now has to organize people to get first aid-training. And also get some sort of vaccination program going. And also get everybody dental.

It's all getting too much for him, really. He doesn't even have a high school diploma.

He mentions this to one of his goons one night, because they said that he looked stressed. Don't worry boss! The goon tells him. We will take care of things, if you want to go back to school! It would be a good example, too, for the older kids, who are still dropping out more than the little kids, you know?

So Jason goes back to school. God he loves school. He barely even thinks about his revenge plan anymore, because he is busy running his programs and studying and making plans with his goons.

He gets his diploma and then starts a community college so people can get degrees.

He then runs into an entirely new problem. The people look up to him, especially the kids. And now the kids also want to help him.

Jason, the second Robin, the bird with clipped wings, tells them no. Absolutely not. You are kids, go back to school, your bedtime is at nine.

He cannot control the older teens, though. They just tell him to fuck off and accept the help. Now train us, so we can start running the more specialized missions too. You can't be the only person jumping on rooftops. If you don't train us, we will do it anyway, dipshit. We ain't scared of you.

And suddenly Jason has his own vigilante team with him. His workers are unionizing. Some of them are actually running for the city council to get things addressed that need to be done the legal way. Crime rates have dropped by 70 percent around Crime Alley.

They can't really call it Crime Alley anymore, can they? It's Park Row again.

The bats are extremely confused by the new team. The Hoods, they call themselves. All of them with a red bat painted on their chests and fighting in an eerily similar manner to them.

Jason is not there on Thursdays. He is busy getting his English degree.

They both need to stay away from scissors. Twins.

Do y'all see the vision?

Both "Beast People", Both parentless, Both got inadvertently adopted into a found family, Both looking like cinnamon rolls, Both could kill you, Their main parental figure is a smart, calculating sonovavich that is "weak", Both got that dangly strand and uncontrolled hair, etc...

Gotta love our pansexual murderous sunshine babygirl

why is deadpool just straight up the most shippable character of all time. this man can be with anyone and it’s adorable. logan?? goes without saying. spidey?? for sure. vanessa?? totally. cable?? why not.

it’s becoming baffling at this point like. is he drinking magical ship juice. how did this man harness such lovable magnetism

i honestly still think about this post daily

Me, refusing to leave tumblr: sir, this is my emotional support hellsite

Reasons Cale Henituse is the funniest motherfucker:

*People cheering for him in the streets* Hm. Don’t like that.

His self-proclaimed speciality is just disassociating on command

Someone: *helps him* Cale: *sighs* I guess I have to solve every problem you’ve ever had

When learning a language, memorised all the swear words before anything else

“I don’t like cats,” says Cale, holding two kittens tenderly, plotting a rebellion to instate a third cat as the new emperor

Single father of *checks notes* uh… 3 to 14 children,

All he wants is to retire to the country; can’t stop getting into international incidents

His relationship with the crown prince is basically: *points at each other* Bastard

Keeps telling people not to trust him while saving their asses from certain destruction

This loser thinks he’s ‘quiet’ and ‘good at keeping still’

Cale: *smiles gently* Everyone: oh god stop What the Fuck

‘Accidental Baby Acquisition’ trope but it’s ‘Accidental Family Acquisition’ and they’re all agents of chaos

“I heard you got hurt,” says a concerned child. “Yes, I coughed up blood.” Cale comforts, comfortingly.

[Girl hits on him] No thanks [Guy hits on him] No thanks

Everyone: you’re a good person Cale: incomprehensible, have a terrible day

Named his adopted son, a dragon, ‘Dragon’

Tells people to drink tea before pulling out something that will make them spray it everywhere like a cartoon

*to a 13 year old* No you can’t train to become a knight you’re too young *to a 5 year old* Alright tonight we’re gonna blow up an island and participate in the slaughter of half a race make sure to protect me well

His entire fucking backstory, like what? What???

Raon: I’ve only had this human for an hour and a half but if anything happened to him I would kill everyone on this continent and then myself Cale: That’s terrifying please stop talking

Never thinks, at any point, to tell anyone that he has a healing power 

He’s THE most extra bitch. Orchestrates his b&e’s like he’s conducting an opera, always plans for maximum Dramatic Effect

*The crown prince doesn’t help in a terror incident* That’s fine because he’s weak. *Finds out he’s strong actually* Bastard??????

Gives his kids an extravagant allowance. Doesn’t let them spend it and buys everything for them instead

‘I should have just got beaten up’, Cale thinks, war waging around him. ‘That would be far less annoying.’