Striptease????? HELP-

As an older sibling and apple lover, those are perfectly sized apples

How's it feel that your itty bitty baby brother is taller than you?

Next time a blocked number calls you answer like this: “Jim’s whore house. You got the dough, we got the hoe.”

The Ao3 Experience: a resume

I Didn’t Think I Shipped It But The Fic Writers for This Ship Really Brought Their A Game: a memoir.

Boop!

i opened my laptop just to boop you :p

LITERALLY

Matt would be insufferable about being Jason's favorite too.

He would make Jason laugh when he knows Bruce is there, showing casual displays of affection (hair ruffles, pats on the back, a hug if he feels sadistic enough), showing openly that he cares only to rub it on Bruce's face.

In Matt's defence, he kinda hates Batman and all that child soldier thing. So he asks Jason to read to him Pride and Prejudice when he knows Bruce and Jay had plans.

Posted twice because I can (I still don't know how this place works)🏃

+ something something I brought the other day

i love solitaire he's like "i have no idea what i'm doing but i'm going to pretend i do until someone tells me whats going on" & has somehow continued to stumble his way into the main story

Do y'all understand that he would rather face the horrors of torture and physical pain (thing he hates) than the people he thinks he failed to???!???

I'm not okay, I will never get over this, it hurts like the first time and that was like 5 years ago.

Don't talk to me

Lord, I love him. He would say shit like "Don't bring knives to a gun fight" and i love that for him

been thinking about Alberu Crossman lately and how he really is just the guy of all time. he's a magic swordsman prince and a quarter Dark Elf, but his main weapon is a gun. and not just any gun, but an alien gun that came pre-installed with AI. he spent half a chapter on hold with customer service once. his alias of choice when going undercover is "Bob." he's white-passing, but only when he wants to be. his main catchphrase is "This is driving me nuts." he uses this catchphrase so much, the fandom has started associating him with squirrel imagery. he's the only person to call Cale an immature brat to his face. he was assigned a fursona by God. he's genuinely upset that the main villain makes better cookies than he does. he fought the final boss in his pajamas - and won. he averted a TPK for Cale's allies by taking a video call as his fursona. he once shot the main villain while he was monologuing. he's even a gamer. what did we do to deserve him

Cale is so touch starved that when someone gives him a hug, he legitimately doesn't know what he needs to do with his hands. So he just stands there, awkwardly waiting until the person lets him go.

It's painful to watch how he gets stiff as a board when someone touches him by surprise. It's obvious to everyone how he prepared himself for the pain that never comes. The fact that he looks confused is even worse.

So now, after a family meeting, they decided that they would start with little gestures like pats on the shoulder and high fives. And then maybe fast hugs from the kids.

wade calling him everything but logan