Jayroy But They’re Fake Dating In Order To Mentally Torture Their Fathers And Reap The Benefits Of

The shining star of the kingdom and the hero young master silver shield

"What do you call a dog with no legs?"

Cale suddenly broke the silence in Alebru's office with a emotionless voice.

The redhead was lying on the sofa and did not look up from the documents with which he was helping the blonde

Alberu rised his head from his own documents, confused by the question without context.

"What?"

"Doesn’t matter what you call him, he won’t come anyway."

Cale grins when Alberu chokes and keep reading the documents calmly.

Cale's grunts translation (By children of average nine years old)

"Hum": normally made in a crime scene when he sees something that's not in the right place.

"Hm": general recognization of your existence, maybe a "good morning", "good afternoon" or "good evening"

A low "mnh": someone messed out and this benefits me.

A slightly louder "mnh": i messed out and this definitly does not benefits me.

*snort*: you're funny or the next victim with nowhere in between

*a laugh without a frowing*: an actual genuine laugh?????????

*a louder laugh with frowing*: dragons! Dragons everywhere!

A very low "Hehe...": money

A sharp inhale through the nose: I'm hurted but i don't want anyone to know.

A soft exhale through nose: why did i become a commander again.

Inspired in this work of art

Good luck! You deserve the good grades after feeding us so well hahaha

Randomly remembered that post someone made about Red Hood's goons, through several misunderstandings, coming to the conclusion that Hood is a trans man, and I made this.

Og below cut.

Boyfriends, husbands, besto frendos, pals, idk. They are so special to me. I need more of them, like a side story about how Bud became Mercenary King or something

Hi, I present you Bud Illis AND Glenn Poeff fanarts, pretty neat huh

I think Bud and Glenn would have fought side by side quite often and I wanna learn dynamic poses, hope you like it ~⁠ ⁠(⁠°⁠ ⁠~⁠ ⁠°⁠ ⁠~⁠)

The one on the ground is supposed to be a teleportation magic circle and the one in the air shield magic

They just look the same cuz laziness

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Here's some pretty cool reference pictures in case you'll need it (the rest was just kinda freestyled)

I struggled drawing this pose so much and as you can see it's still off but maybe someone succeeds, who knows ٩(ˊvˋ*)و

You know the “Dad, How Do I?” YouTube channel? Yeah, that, but with Red Hood, and they’re unlisted videos that Crime Alley residents share with each other.

It started with goons stealthily taking videos of Red Hood ranting about shitty drug quality that they upload under the title “Boss on drug quality control,” primarily for other goons so that anyone can tell if the supplies have been cut with something and don’t need to waste time asking Hood.

Then videos from civilians start popping up too, featuring Red Hood lecturing street kids titled things like “RH on staying warm in winter” and “RH on how not to get mugged.”

Memorably, there’s a video titled “RH on classic literature (y’all did RH go to college???? Is our crime lord a lit major???)” where Red Hood imparts upon some kids the importance of reading. After a very positive reception, the uploader goes back to Red Hood, asks about a book they’re reading for school, and gets a whole lecture on themes and whatnot. It does numbers and becomes a series, and this time Hood knows the camera exists (he’s always known they exist, he just couldn’t be bothered to acknowledge them) and actually talks to it.

(Jason will do anything to help these children, whether it’s giving them a leg up in school, giving the street kids who aren’t in school some semblance of an education, or teaching them how to shank someone trying to traffic them.)

Red Hood never uploads any videos himself, but it doesn’t matter. Crime Alley crowd sourced its own version of Khan academy and it’s better for it.

If the next day Cale gives more sweets and pats to the kids, it's only between him and his (the claim felt so natural to him) children.

Calling him dad:

I feel like Cale would have a blank face with mildly wide open eyes if the kids were to call him dad.  Raon would fumble with the words a little because while he considers him his father, he still feels shy about being so open about it.  Hong is beet red while shouting in a mix of embarrassment and excitement about proclaiming this to his dad’s face.  On would say it a bit quietly but steadily, glancing away for a second before maintaining eye contact because she wants him to know they mean it.  She looks almost unfazed but there’s a slight red on her ear. They see Cale have a blank look on his face and know it’s because he’s an idiot and needs a moment to process. Which is absolutely right because he’s like ‘me? Dad? Where did they get that idea? Well, not that i mind, but– when did this development happen?

And he’s close to saying they should not call him that if they feel weird about it, but he sees the genuine excitement on the boys’ faces, and the fond determination on On’s face that seems to know his turmoil and tells him that yes they mean it and no this doesn’t feel weird it feels liberating and suddenly he can’t say anything.  He just pats each of their heads before letting them fall into his arms in a warm embrace.  

Because children should be happy.

And his kids will be happy for as long as he can make it so.

So if calling him ‘dad’ makes them feel like this, he’s okay with it.

(He’s more than okay with it)

He ignores the way his chest feels.  Because that’s not important right now.

What’s important is that On started sniffling like she was about to cry.

That was new.  On had never made such an expression.  She seemed happy and relieved.

Like the weight she had been carrying as the older sister that was thrown away by her home was finally lifted from her small shoulders.  The usual serious expression was gone.

And Cale hugged her tighter.  He ignored the way his arms trembled from the effort.  So did the kids.

Because children should feel like children.

And On was feeling like a kid again. 

And her siblings were right there with her.

With their dad.

With this large yet little family of theirs.

In their own corner of the world.

Jason, newly back from the dead: *walks into the room, sees Bruce, turns and leaves*

Bruce: well, there's my monthly dose of Jason

hc that every couple months jason texts tim like "hey r you going rogue yet?" "no" "alr lemme know if you change your mind" until one night tim gets this text while he's having an absolute shit week and goes yknow what? why not and suddenly the internet is filled with news that red hood teamed up with an unknown associate to cause chaos(stealing from corrupt billionaire type chaos, not mass murder of innocents type chaos) and said associate randomly shows up again every couple months