Things That DO NOT Define Your Self Worth

Essentials.

Crying thinking about Spocks mom reading Alice in wonderland to him idk don’t talk to me.

something something yellow and blue are complementary colours something something Jim is his light something something homosexual

I un-installed TikTok in a fit of rage, without finding any of the people I followed there on other platforms. Now that it is back, I can't install it to find them. I mentally blame my autism. My autism looks back in disbelief and blames my ADHD. My ADHD confirms, we have skipped over a week of meditation. Apologetic, my ADHD supplies the name of one TikTok person I followed and he is on this app. It is a tentative ceasefire.

My father always told me that crying is just a manipulation tactic, so I have to cry alone, which is hard to do as his 24/7 caregiver.

I'm an "it depends" girlie

people b saying things so definitively. like man i think it depends

Spirk is so gay it can't be accessed by corporate marketing for capital, actually.

i must not kill myself . killing myself is the myself killer

These are all the reasons I wear capes!

Everybody knows and loves Spock's cunty black cape from Return of the Archons. While the rest of the crew's disguises are more or less congruent with each other and with the planet's natives, Spock is the only caped bitch on the entire fucking planet as far as we can see. There are other, more fitting, in-universe ways to cover his ears. He had no right to be serving this much cunt with this look.

So the question I usually see is: Did Spock pick this look for himself? And is he this weird because he's a Vulcan? Or is he, individually, just this extra? Here is the secret third thing: This cape is the PERFECT accessory for an autistic person.

Feeling overstimulated? Raise the hood; it works like blinders on a horse.

Feeling understimulated? It swishes around like a princess dress when you move. Spinning optional.

It's not as tight around the body as a jacket, so it keeps you warm without having to feel a structured jacket all over you while you're trying to go about your day. Meanwhile, the part around the top of the head is just structured enough that it's not touching your face or falling off all the time.

It's a good conversation starter. If you want people to talk to you but you don't know what to say, this cape is guaranteed to get their attention and get the conversation going.

Have issues around being perceived? This one is a little harder to understand; but when you have a cape like this, people notice the cape instead of noticing you. There is a freedom in it. It's why a lot of autistic people are into cosplay.

Also, it helps with that "why are they staring at me" anxiety. They are staring because I am beautiful and mysterious and elegant and wearing a fucking cape.

In conclusion, I really hope Spock kept this cape and wore it on other occasions that we don't see on-screen. Also, I will be buying one for myself in the near future.

This is such an accurate description of how I was raised

I know it's useless to ruminate, but I've been thinking about the way I was raised, and the indirect ways I was taught that the rules and standards are different for me and for other people.

I was taught to never judge anyone, but also that I should not embarrass my family by acting or appearing any way that people would judge. I was taught that it was rude of me to talk on and on about things that are boring, but also that it was rude of me to not listen attentively when someone else was talking on and on about things that bore me. That people were allowed to take their anger out on me, but that I was not allowed to be angry at anyone or anything. That everyone's feelings are vaild and their actions are understandable, except for mine of course.

If they ever heard me say this, my family would argue "nobody ever explicitly said that to you, word-for-word, at your face, so therefore none of this is true", but they did, indirectly and inadvertently, teach me that I must always be nice, patient, polite, understanding, and good to people, but that it's preposterous of me to expect anyone else to treat me as nicely as I'm expected to treat them.

I was taught what is, and what is not, the appropriate way to treat other people, and to unconsciously understand that I don't really count as "people".

Guys I'm being so serious you all need to still be here in 38 years so we can have the greatest fucking day ever for First Contact