Why Has No One Ever Written Peter Parker As A Forensic Photographer/scientist

"X-men is becoming woke!" I'm sorry, have we been seeing the same series?

The main teacher is a disabled man who uses a wheelchair. The team has a powerful African lady who is literally called a god. In some universes, she is in an interracial relationship with Wolverine. The three most powerful members of the team are Jean, Storm, and Rogue, who are ALL women. Bishop is a smart and powerful black man. Forge is Native American and is super smart and builds cool futuristic tech stuff. One of the protagonists is a chinese-american girl whose love interest is a dark-skinned Latino dude. Mystique is literally gender fluid and married to a woman. Mystique also got the woman pregnant by giving herself a penis, which is how Kurt was born. Kitty Pryde is confirmed to be bisexual. Magick is confirmed to be bisexual. Iceman came out as a gay man. Wolverine dated the literal actually HERCULES in one comic. Deadpool has been confirmed by multiple writers (AND THE MOVIE) to be pansexual, and even has a (VIATNAMESE) nonbinary love interest in one comic. The entire series is about minorities living in a society that despises them.

But yeah, sure. Complain about Morph, a SEXLESS SHAPESHIFTER WHO WAS BARELY EVEN IN THE ORIGINAL SHOW, being nonbinary and having a crush on Wolverine.

Xmen has ALWAYS been woke. It's a metaphor for oppression and how anyone who differs from the societal norm is treated terribly. OF COURSE they're going to have queer characters in there 💀

Kevin the Kitten and Satan the Cat 🖤 Artist: 📸@vanessastockard

HELPFUL TIPS FOR THE HENCHPEOPLE OF GOTHAM

The buddy system exists for a reason

If you see two vigilantes having sex on a rooftop, do NOT take the opportunity to sneak up on them

Riddler is a little bit gay for Batman

Joker is a little bit gay for Batman

Catwoman is a little bit gay for Batman

Two-Face and Batman are divorced

Azrael is a little bit gay for Batman

Working for Penguin has the best benefits and he is the least likely to kill his own employees

Do NOT call him Penguin to his face

If they wear a cape, they have a praise kink. This can be exploited.

Be careful taking work from anyone with a doctorate. That maniac willingly went through graduate school

Don't forget to look up

My new stylus is here (RIP the old one)... time to sketch and adapt!

i will... draw for fun... the things that..... bring me joy ...

doink

This Year’s Nominations

Fic Nominations

Best in Fluff

“Potato Gun Mechanics” by hisfirstnamesagent

“confessions (just for you)” by blxrryfxcxd

“(A Picture Can Say) A Thousand Words” by shipskicksandgiggles

“You’re Breathtaking” by Tea_For_One_Please

“Pete, I’m Fake Drunk and Wanna Go Home” by Sarah_Sandwich

Best in Hurt/comfort

“a rainbow doesn’t always have a pot of gold” by Scarlettpin

“She’s My Sister” by Weirdness_36

“For the First Time, Eye to Eye” by Sarah_Sandwich

Best in Angst

“Tools to Fix You” by shipskicksandgiggles

“we were all just humans” by MayWilder

“i wish that i was homeward bound” by thompsborn

“rise and fall of the tides” by enzhe, MayWilder

Best in Fieldtrip

“Obligatory Field Trip Fic” by Dredfulhapiness

Will be open for last minute nominations during voting, provide link in other option

Best in Social Media AU

“A Spider on the Web” by bee bark (nachtwaechterin)

“Potato Gun Mechanics” by hisfirstnamesagent

“creeper, aw man” by impravidus

“twitter beef so salty and scalding hot that it’s a well done steak” by impravidus

Best in Post-No Way Home

“We’re Happy To Serve You” by ExcaliburLibrary

“After You” by WaywardKeener

“i wish that i was homeward bound” by thompsborn

Best in Non-canon Compliant

“Space in Your Bed” by PeachyKeener

“we were all just humans” by MayWilder

“i wish that i was homeward bound” by thompsborn

“Tennessee Whiskey” by Superstitious

“Lemon Boy” by Sarah_Sandwich

Best in College/University

“Too busy being yours” by everythingisconnected

“Or Whatever” by shipskicksandgiggles

“The Hottie Across the Hall” by coconutknightshade

“i wish that i was homeward bound” by thompsborn

Best in Superhero Harley Keener

“it’s always who is spider-man, never how is spider-man” by i_regret_thatpersonalityquiz

“saving peter” by thompsborn

“Parkner Meets Miraculous Ladybug Tropes” by impravidus

Best in Identity Reveal

“Spider At Home (ah-ah)” by the_oncoming_stormageddon

“Simply the Best” by impravidus

“As You Wish” by Superstitious

“Tennessee Whiskey” by Superstitious

Best in Future Fics

“Head in the Stars” by shipskicksandgiggles

“not done yet” by thompsborn

“no one else was in the room where it happened” by LilacsAndLilies

Best in Proposal/Marriage

“The Proposal” by impravidus

“Stuck in the Middle” by impravidus

Will be open for last minute nominations during voting, provide link in other option

Best in Tony Stark Involved

“The Hottie Across the Hall” by coconutknightshade

“Potato Gun Mechanics” by hisfirstnamesagent

“Devils in the Details (but you got a friend in me)” by PeachyKeener

“Well, this is awkward” by Saturning

Best in Soulmates

“Lobsters are mermaids to scorpions” by sammiespider

“Garden Growing” by saladbabie

“promises, promises, promises” by MayWilder

“Skin-Deep” by m4xw3ll

Art Nominations

Best in Digital Art

Harley Keener Introduced At CEO of SI by TEDDY

"Laddie & Spidey !!" by cqlementine

Unnamed by Darka

Best in Physical Art

Aka Peter and Harley won’t stop flirting by Mauvera

Will be open for last minute nominations during voting, provide link in other option

Best in Collage Art

For October Parkner Week by EmmaElsa0000

Will be open for last minute nominations during voting, provide link in other option

Creator Nominations

Best in New Writers

Weirdness_36

DiAngelosBae

Will be open for last minute nominations during voting, provide link in other option

Best in OG Writers

@official-impravidus

@thompsborn

Will be open for last minute nominations during voting, provide link in other option

Best in Artist

@peanuttoffee

@cqlementine

Will be open for last minute nominations during voting, provide link in other option

my take on human caldarus while i sit in the waiting room.

idk how to explain but he feels very rune factory 4 leon to me <3

I keep reading so many Peter Parker in Gotham AU fanfics, and I got the worst idea ever

As most start outs go in these fics, Post SM:NWH Peter ends up in DC universe Gotham

Only difference? The Joker in this DC universe is actually an alternate version of Norman Osborn.

I know this sounds so dumb but like,,, imagine it. May died trying to help Norman, and Peter nearly threw away his morals to avenge her death by killing Norman himself. Now he's faced with another version of Osborn who is so much more fucked up, who's been through so much shit, and all Peter can see past that shitty clown make-up is the poor man who needed help who his aunt died trying to help. The man who went to FEAST knowing Peter could help. The man who one second was scared of everything including himself, and the next was laughing uncontrollably, even through the punches Peter pounded into him.

What if Peter decides Mays death won't be in vain. That even if this isn't the same Norman Osborn, he's going to help him and he won't die trying like May. He's going to avenge her death the right way.

Then cue the Bats freaking the FUCK out because???? As much as they beat the shit out of him, Bruce had spent years trying to help him, then this homeless and totally adoptable kid shows up out of nowhere and is breaking past the Joker and to the real man trapped behind it all?????