[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' Is Deflating In Sadness]

Some orv doodles in math class

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' thinks that that seems cool!]

*arrives with a box of tiny cakes*

...?

Are these poisoned?

I'm now in love with this headcanon (⁠♡⁠ω⁠♡⁠ ⁠)⁠ ⁠~⁠♪

Every single day I'm grateful for that time I stumbled on the SVSSS headcanon that while Bingqiu is considered highkey confusing and lowkey cringe in the demon realm, Moshang is known as the Power Couple™. They're the demonic love story. The 'It Couple'.

Just generations of demons sighing over the dramatic and bloody love story of the Northern King and his right hand man plus spymaster, yearning for one of their own filled with such glorious violence and betrayal! A classic childhood friends to lovers narrative filled with ups and downs and copious murder and gore! Love at first sight! The story of the loyal spy who rose up the ranks of the brutal Northern Court, culling his competition while providing vital intel to his liege, all the while infiltrating the most powerful cultivation sect in the world and eventually even becoming a Peak Lord! The slow burn of all slow burns! All kinds of spicy complicated power imbalances! Sexy, unexpected age gaps! Years of heavy plot! Decades of passionate courting! The pinnacle of inter-species forbidden romance! The tale of a man who swore eternal loyalty after falling violently in love at the very first meeting, calling a mere Prince His King in his desire and determination to see his beloved's ascension to the throne that was his birthright, and the Demon Prince who was unexpectedly presented with fierce loyalty in a life that had until then been rife with treachery and grabbed it with both hands and never looked back!

...and there's Junshan and the weird human he keeps around. Somewhat interesting if you're into that teacher-student thing I guess. There were very few deaths. Some bland murders. The trial arc and the self destruct thing plus corpse hoarding was interesting but overall very vanilla. Unseasoned. Not even a proper decade of drama. Kinda boring. And Junshan's half human so they're like Walmart version inter-species romance. But whatever the Emperor's into I guess. His dad was kinda weird too but at least his relationship with that human woman had some kick to it. The new generation just doesn't appreciate a long drawn out painful romance tsk tsk...

Like infinitely grateful to whoever first spawned that headcanon. Never fails to make me laugh. Honestly the most hilarious thing I've ever seen in this fandom. Hope your pillow is always cold and you never stub your toe.

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' giggles]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' says that they would have just cooked the tomato]

[Incarnation 'Demonic Human' eyes their sponsor]

Don't, you'll burn the kitchen down

[Incarnation 'Demonic Human' finds you pitiable]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' sponsored 200 coins]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' is cackling at the scene of Incarnation 'Kim Dokja' being scared of the eldritch tomato]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' is taking photos]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' thinks this is hilarious]

(He just shakes his head, sighing in exasperation.)

Why don't you try being chased by an eldritch tomato??-

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' is flattered that you think they're from somewhere so holy]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' is shocked that you would go out of your way to dream of them]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' is staring at you]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' is curious about you]

[ The Constellation 'Oldest Dream' is sweating under the intense stare ]

C-can you... not?

[ The Constellation 'Oldest Dream' admits he can't sleep when looked at ]

I woke up earlier than expected... I thought it would be at least a month...

...Um, so...

Who are you? None of these Constellations were in the TWSA... How weird...

[ The Constellation 'Oldest Dream' wonders if his messages are easy to read for The Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' ]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' says it's fine]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' hopes your face is ok]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' is staring at the secretive plotter plush in interest]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' sponsored 200 coins]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' is staring blankly at the screen]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' is confused]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' is wondering what they walked in on]

.. It's nothing out of the norm, but I'm sorry you had to walk into this.

[ A constellation who likes to swim says hello! ]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' gasped]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' is unsure of how to interact with a fellow constellation]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' is nervous]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' shyly greets their fellow constellation]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' smiled eerily at the tomato]

[but it was gonna die anyway if it was eaten (⁠ ⁠╹⁠▽⁠╹⁠ ⁠)]

[at least this way it won't go to waste! (⁠人⁠ ⁠•͈⁠ᴗ⁠•͈⁠)]

[want me to do the same to you? (⁠.⁠ ⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' is brandishing their hammer threateningly]

[A different tomato dressed in Chinese dress and garter belt is crying at the death of its friend]

[A different tomato dressed in Chinese dress and garter belt is cursing out the Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader']

we just wanted to get kim dokja to eat tomatoes damn 😭

[A different tomato dressed in Chinese dress and garter belt is continuing the storytelling in its friend's stead]

[A different tomato dressed in Chinese dress and garter belt is running after Kim Dokja]

Come here! I even made an effort to dress up for you!!

how are there more of you. why are there more of you.

i’m going to file a petition to ban tomatoes from gaining sentience someone start writing it up i’m busy running for my life

Smooth real smooth alberu

Cale: I'm trash

Alberu: As someone who cares deeply about the environment, I am obligated to pick you up. Is seven okay?

Cale: ...

Rosalyn: You smooth motherf**ker

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' shakes their head]

[I didn't think hard about it tho? I just said the two most common things when I think of tomato dishes- my mama used to make them you see (.⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)]

[and tomatoes has vitamins I'm pretty sure! And health benefits! Mama said they are good for skin she said they can whiten the skin and that pale skin is the prettiest so she makes me eat them lots! (⁠^⁠o⁠^⁠)ﾉ]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' sponsored 200 coins]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' is cackling at the scene of Incarnation 'Kim Dokja' being scared of the eldritch tomato]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' is taking photos]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' thinks this is hilarious]

(He just shakes his head, sighing in exasperation.)

Why don't you try being chased by an eldritch tomato??-