My Timeline Being The Mix Of All My Interests Is Great

Damian: Do you have any special skills?

Jon: Yes, distraction.

Damian: So you’re good at distracting people?

Jon: No, I’m good at being distracted.

how embarrassing 🤨…

One of my favorite genres of post

Jason and Tim:

Here…. Imagine, tim preg. But litreally know one except bernard and tim knows yet.😭😭😭💀💀💀💀

"Imagine, Tim pregnant—" Done.

And, yeah, they would somehow either forget to tell everyone, or they'd just... Not.

—

Tim, throwing up in a dumpster mid patrol:

Stephanie: Oh my god, Red Robin is dying!

Jason: I don't think their doing that bad, sure the place closed on mian, but—

Cassandra: Your brother!

Jason: Huh? Oh.

Bruce: What's happening?

Tim: Oh, nothing, my bad. I just should've swallowed.

Tim, promptly passing out:

Damian: . . . What?

Cass: We've got him.

Stephanie: Spleenless wonder.

—

Tim, calling Jason at three in the afternoon: Jason. I need Subway.

Jason: . . What?

Tim: Bern is still at classes. I'm hungry.

Jason: So go get food.

Tim: Can't, injured my ankles during patrol last night and last time I tried to drive with a sprained ankle I lost my license for a year.

Jason: F#&#&$... Just wait for Bernard to get off classes.

Tim: You're starving me!?

Jason: I am not driving forty minutes to pick you up and get you a sandwich!

Tim: Fine, I'll call Dick.

Jason: He lives over an hour away.

Tim: And, yet, he'll get me a sandwich.

Jason: Oh my gods I wish Bruce closed the door on your face... Fine. Fine! I'm coming! Driving forty f#&$-#& minutes to get you a SANDWICH!

Tim: Thank you.

—

Damian: You've been avoiding spicy foods for than usual lately.

Tim: Uh . . ? Thanks . . ?

Damian: Suspicious.

Tim: No, it's not! I don't like spicy foods.

Damian: You usually eat Alfred's chilli though.

Tim: Well, not tonight.

Damian: Suspicious...

—

Kon: . . . Rob?

Tim: Yeah?

Kon: Why do you have two heartbeats?

Tim:

Kon:

Tim: Bat training.

Kon: Oh, okay.

—

Bernard: You really shouldn't be patrolling while pregnant.

Tim: Probably, but on the bright side I can say our kids been a vigilante since they were in the womb!

Bernard: You're impossible.

Tim: Their first vigilante name can be "The Egg"

Bernard: You're insane.

Tim: Glad you finally realized it.

—

Bruce: Now, this is a high stakes mission, so... Where's Red Robin?

Stephanie: He said he'll pass.

Bruce: . . . What?

Cassandra: He's not coming.

Bruce: . . . Why?

Dick: Maybe he's sick?

Jason: Could be hiding an injury.

Damian: Perhaps he's quit and decided his time is better used maintaining his horrid wreck of a boat.

Duke: Maybe he's pregnant.

Bruce: That's impossible.

Stephanie: How's that impossible?

Bruce: I had birth control specifically made for him.

Dick: He could've stopped taking it.

Damian: Don't be ridiculous, Drake would never willingly continue his cursed bloodline.

Duke: Bruce didn't even want to, man was snagging kids off the streets before he'd willingly get your Mama pregnant.

Damian: SAY THAT TO MY FACE!

Cassandra: No, no fighting.

Bruce: . . . Tim would tell us if he was pregnant, right?

Stephanie: Would any of us tell Bruce if we were pregnant?

Everyone:

Bruce: What?!

Jason: If I was pregnant I'd be on a remote island with Kori and Roy to avoid the stress you f#-$%-$s put me in.

Stephanie: I avoided Bruce like the plague when I was pregnant, he was NOT about to adopt my baby.

Cassandra: I would've terminated the pregnancy a week before I had sex.

Dick: I would be trying to get my life together.

Bruce: Why do you all have plans for this?

Dick: . . . Do you not have plans for this scenario?

Bruce: . . . I—

Stephanie: OH MY GODS, HE DOESN'T HAVE PLANS FOR IF WE GOT PREGNANT!?

Jason: Hate to point it out, but didn't the Joker get pregnant one time?

Bruce: . . . Moving on—

Duke: Why do none of y'all have plans for if your partner was with you?! I'd be chilling with my loving spouse!

Damian: That requires them to be loveable.

Jason: Kori and or Roy would be the reason I got pregnant.

Bruce: CARRYING ON!

—

Stephanie: You're getting fat.

Tim:

Stephanie:

Tim, breaking down into tears:

Stephanie: I'm sorry!? I didn't mean it! I was joking!? Tim, are you okay!?

—

Clark: So, uh, Bruce..?

Bruce: What is it?

Clark: Tim told Kon the other day... something interesting?

Bruce: Spit it out.

Clark: . . . Is it part of bat training to have two heartbeats?

Bruce:

Bruce: What?

Clark: Kon has been hearing double heartbeats from Tim—

Bruce: I gotta go.

—

Tim, snapping pop tarts in half to stick in a large bowl of several different kids of ice cream, then dumping two boxes of pocky into them, topping it with chocolate syrup and powdered sugar: . . . I don't even like sugar—

Bruce: TIMOTHY JACKSON DRAKE-WAYNE!

Tim: Oh no.

—

Incorrect batfam/ DC quotes but it's all stuff my friends & I said

Dick: I don't care! I will simply backflipp out of the conversation.

Jason: some people have trauma, other people have blunt force trauma. We're not the same!

Babara: you wouldn't steal the croissant of a person sitting in a wheelchair!

Steph: [Watching a musical] are they singing again?????

Tim: I have so much caffeine in my body, it would probably kill a small mammal.

Barry: In the name of the Lord! Spread your legs for science!

Roy: Which sick bastard came up with these Google maps routes???

Damian: You write you "G"s in the same way as my grandfather

Jon: omg maybe I am the reincarnation of your grandfather!!!

Damian:.....My grandfather isn't dead yet...

Jason: In the name of the Lord will I put this record on! [ABBA starts playing]

Colin, Jon, and, Billy simply existing

Maya: ...

Maya: So when did you start attracting white boys?

Damian, slowly realizing that they are all in fact white boys: Oh my god...

I think Damian definitely loves handling things by himself but I also think if Clark took a dig at him he’d tattle to Jon immediately. “Your Father accused me of being a bad influence.” Because what worst punishment can Clark be given then his son being mad at him? He definitely takes that shit to heart

tim drake, with a lapfull of clone baby, who just found a document with parenting advices from mommy blogs (with links) from 12+ years ago on batcomputer: ...hmmm