Superman Born Circa 1990 And Being In His Early 30s As Of 2025 Doesn’t Wear A Cape Simply Because It

Superman born circa 1990 and being in his early 30s as of 2025 doesn’t wear a cape simply because it was common amongst his people. He wears it partially because of social media and people being so thirsty.

Early Superman goes out in the skintight suit and red boots with the House of El’s crest on his chest. He does his thing—saving the day and whatnot. He’s feared by some, but beloved by most. Then Twitter and its trending topics become a thing. Suddenly he’s feared by some, beloved by others, but lusted after by a fuckload of people.

“The people of the internet want to know if your ass is real,” Hal giggles breathlessly. “They think your suit is padded!”

Clark crosses his arms and absolutely does not pout. He’s not pouting. Or blushing.

“Oh my God,” Barry cackles, scrolling on his phone. “This is everything. They’re calling you Super Thicc Man.”

“Two c’s,” Ollie snorts as he looks over Barry’s shoulder. “There are memes, Blue. You’re a meme.”

Hal squawks and shoves his phone into Bruce’s face. To his credit, Bruce barely twitches—to the naked human eye, anyway. Clark knows Bruce’s micro expressions better than anyone and can tell the other man’s snickering in his head.

“‘Double cheeked up’ is trending!” Hal nearly falls out of his seat laughing. “Holy shit. ‘What you doing out here with all this ass? Double cheeked up on a Thursday afternoon—hella ass, the sun is still out.’ This is the best day of my life!”

Bruce coughs delicately—a sure sign that he’s losing the fight to giggles.

“Maybe,” he says slowly, “this is a good thing. They’re not afraid of you if they’re lusting after you.”

Clark blushes for hours on end. Ma retrieves the red blanket he’d been wrapped in when he landed on Earth and sews him his first cape. Bruce, being a good and apologetic friend, scrubs as many of the memes from the internet as he can.

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vibbok

2 months ago

Only those who have seen the light know that Bruce Wayne is absolutely the type of annoying father who asks for his adult children for grandkids EVERY chance possible. This is the same man who immediately put in his two weeks notice from batman-ing the MINUTE he discovered he had a granddaughter.

Bruce, materialising in bludhaven: when are you and Barbara getting married

Dick: NO.

Bruce: *sad GRANDCHILDLESS noises*

Bruce, materialising in crime alley: when you are going to settle down with a nice girl or guy and give me a-

Jason: *starts shooting*

Bruce, materialising in the clocktower:

Babs: don’t even fucking think about it

Bruce: *dematerialises away sadly*

Finally, at the annual family dinner, Bruce: whoever is the first to bring me a grandchild will be banned from ever having to take over batman

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vibbok

2 months ago

the sillies

38K notes View Post

vibbok

3 months ago

He's not crying, he just...has something in his eye.

...Yeah.

And sure, Damian just put his sticky baby hand, which he had been chewing on, like, a second ago, in his face, but... Look at those green baby eyes!

Anyway, I'm not good at drawing babies, because I never draw babies, but I wanted to do something with these two, so here they are! And dw, Jason learned to hold baby Damian the correct way.

SpeedPaint, because I haven't posted one in a long time.

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vibbok

1 month ago

HEADCANON

Bruce and the kids saving a coin for every time Dick changes lovers is my new headcanon. They all agreed that the money saved will be given to the one lover that stays more than one year with Dick.

Kori was an almost winner. Bruce liked her, and the kids also warmed up to her, altho damian took longer bc of his suspicion agaisnt aliens. She helped Dick in many ways and kept him out of too much trouble and she was caring. But that one lastes 11 months and 15 days (tim keeps count).

Then the jar kept filling and Wally arrived, but no one had hope for it, although they were best friends for a long while and still going strong after Wally came back from Speedforce.

It was tim (the one regulating everything) that announced at dinner that Dick and Wally had been dating for one year and 3 months.

Dick: why?!?!?!

Jason: *walks back with a jar full of money and gives it to wally* congrats wally!!

Dick: WHATS HAPPENING?!??

Bruce: well, dick, some years ago we decided to save money for every lover u had.

Tim: and we agreed that the money would go to the one that lasted more than one year.

Duke: we saved a lot of money for that, u kept changing lovers, jesus.

Cass: I had hope in kori.

*batfam nodding along with Cass statement*

Wally: may I ask how much money is in here?

Tim: 1000 dollars.

Wally: *looks at dick* idk if I should be jealous or worried.

Dick: please don't, okay.

Somehow Wally also saw that as a reward and a challenge that they would not break for a long time.

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vibbok

3 months ago

The superbrothers!!

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vibbok

3 months ago

Damian to me wouldn’t peel an orange for Jon but if you poured two different scented beads together he’d sort them out because he knows it would fuck with Jon’s super smell and he can’t have that

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vibbok

3 months ago

Anti hero Jon who has an obvious soft spot for the hero Damian

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vibbok

3 weeks ago