Jon Becoming Progressively More And More Obsessed With Damian In The Same Way That Proximity Makes You

Damian Wayne gets caught by the press while sneaking away and hanging out in civilian clothing with Red Hood and Bruce finding out they know each other isn’t even his biggest problem. his biggest problem is that the interviewer asked what his connection is to the crime lord and why they have on camera the guy calling Damian ‘habibi’, and, panicking about whether or not Bruce seeing this interview could leak Jason’s identity, to throw him off the trail Damian said that Red Hood is his parent.

Interviewer: wait. but… i thought that Bruce Wayne was your biological father?

Damian, panicking even more because both Jason and Bruce would kill him if people thought that Brucie Wayne was the Red Hood’s identity: what, don’t you support trans people? Hood was my mother.

Jason only finds out what Damian did when after a week of confusedly nodding at the trans pride pins people kept wearing and pointing out to him on the street, and Damian refusing to look him in the eye, Nightwing shows up during patrol crying laughing about how Bruce Wayne got asked during a gala about his secret affair with a crime lord and held his champagne glass so tightly it exploded in his hands.

Bruce, on the other hand, got sent the interview clip by Tim halfway through breakfast, whereupon hearing the audio start Damian climbed out the nearest window to get away. after a slightly paranoid text to Talia about whether or not she was in Gotham wearing a face covering helmet every night, be proceeds to freak the fuck out. he has no idea who the Red Hood is, or how Damian knows him. He also has no clue that Red Hood knows HIS identity, and fully plans on showing up to Wayne events in the helmet to antagonise Bruce by stealing food and demanding they talk about the ‘custody arrangements’ of their son. all he knows is that Damian broke a window in his haste to Not Explain Anything, and that Dick and Tim are wheezing hysterically on the other side of the house.

actually do you think when Damian gets in trouble at school and is called into the principal’s office he has to call for a family member to show up but Tim is the only one available and so he comes down to the school and walks into the office talking about how this needs to be quick because he has about three meetings he’s running late for-

the principal just kinda squints for a second and is like ‘aren’t you also one of my students?’

and Tim starts sweating. ‘what? no, i dropped out like six months ago’

‘i don’t remember you dropping out.’

‘well i less dropped out and more stopped showing up because i had to work-‘

‘that is no excuse, Timothy Jackson Drake.’

three hours later Bruce finally finishes whatever mission he was dealing with and has to go down to the school because now the principal wont let Tim leave without a guardian either. Bruce walks in with Tim’s emancipation papers to prove that he is indeed no longer a student and sees his two youngest sat in the corner, Damian shaking his head at Tim in pure disappointment while Tim hangs his head in humiliated shame and the principal talks about the consequences of missing six months worth of classes.

Damian tells the story over dinner and Dick and Jason both laugh so hard they start choking on their food

Colin, Jon, and, Billy simply existing

Maya: ...

Maya: So when did you start attracting white boys?

Damian, slowly realizing that they are all in fact white boys: Oh my god...

♯ THINGS TO SCRIPT OR MANIFEST SIMPLY BECAUSE YOU CAN .ᐟ

no, none of this is "unrealistic". get out of that mindset. "logic" doesn't exist. there is infinite realities and possibilities, stop using this reality and is "norms" to dictate what's realistic in completely different realities. thank you & enjoy !

Being able to teleport anywhere instantly without effort

Your skin naturally glowing and never needing skincare

Any book you touch instantly transferring its knowledge to you

Walking into a room and immediately becoming the center of attention

Your bank account always having an unlimited balance

Time bending to your will, slowing down or speeding up as needed

Waking up every day feeling fully energized and motivated

The ability to speak and command respect with just your voice

Any item you imagine appearing in your hands instantly

Food always tasting exactly how you want it, no matter where you get it

A personal library that expands with every book you think about

Your home automatically adjusting its temperature to your perfect comfort

Any perfume or scent lasting all day without fading

Shoes that never get dirty or uncomfortable, no matter where you go

A natural talent for music, allowing you to play any instrument instantly

The ability to read minds only when you want to

Finding secret passageways and hidden places wherever you go

Your signature becoming iconic and instantly recognizable

Having a voice that captivates everyone who hears it

Your reflection changing outfits instantly so you can preview them

A personal assistant appearing whenever you need help with anything

Always knowing the right words to say in any conversation

Your hair growing and styling itself exactly how you want each day

Seeing the world in richer, more vibrant colors than anyone else

Being able to heal yourself instantly from any sickness or pain

Jewelry and accessories appearing on you as soon as you think about them

Your footsteps making no sound unless you want them to

The ability to sense when someone is lying to you

Plants and nature responding positively to your presence

A personal journal where everything you write becomes reality

Your favorite places never being crowded when you visit them

Getting free upgrades on flights, hotels, and reservations automatically

Always having the perfect comeback in any situation

Being able to switch your energy from calm to charismatic at will

A cloud-like bed that makes every night’s sleep perfect

Never feeling cold or hot, always at the perfect temperature

Animals instantly understanding and communicating with you

Every letter or package you receive containing a pleasant surprise

People remembering you in the best way after every interaction

Being able to sense when something amazing is about to happen

Walking into any store and finding exactly what you need in seconds

Art and creative projects turning out exactly as you envision them

A personal wardrobe that updates itself with new pieces every morning

Every door opening for you right before you reach it

Waking up each day with a new, exciting adventure waiting for you

The ability to change your mood instantly to whatever you want

Water always tasting crisp, refreshing, and perfectly chilled

The stars shining extra bright whenever you look at the night sky

A secret hideaway that only you can access whenever you need peace

“that’s a stupid outfit!” says the stupid outfit guy

i need to post literally anything other than these fucks

Opinion: Tim Drake should get a gun (again.)

My reasoning: Uh, I think it'd be funny. And DC writers already write whatever THEY think would be funny, so...

Yeah. Give the unhinged one a gun, chop chop!

---

I think Jon is a very intense version of Superman. He’s a kid given this big responsibility and almost no control on his very extreme emotions. I think he can get a bit erratic, I think he’s worn out his goodwill faster than Clark ever did or will. I also think Damian is more of a shining light in Gotham than Bruce ever was because Damian demonstrates change. He knows the city is hopeless but he also thinks it’s worth it because he changed. He knows how the blood on his hands felt and how it felt when he washed it off.

This is why when I like the demon Jon and angel Damian motif better than the inverse.

The Batkids doing that "Suspect" tiktok trend where they take turns filming each other running and say increasingly personal and deranged shit to make each other laugh.

Spoiler, recording Red Robin: *in a confused voice* Suspect listens to Green Day and Enya, like my guy pick a struggle

Nightwing, recording Red Hood: Suspect died once and made it his entire personality

Red Hood, recording Robin: Suspect has a superiority complex that is way too big for someone his size

Robin, recording Nightwing: Suspect has been engaged at least twice and married never

Red Robin, recording Spoiler: Suspect thinks assaulting people with bricks is a legitimate flirting strategy (Spoiler: It worked on you!)

Signal, who came out at night solely for this, recording Red Robin: Suspect can't come up with an original name and keeps stealing everyone else's

Red Hood, recording Nightwing: Suspect is actually a huge asshole but hides it behind that cheerful demeanor so everyone thinks I'm lying about it

Robin, recording Red Hood: I'm going to let the Suspect keep running because he needs the exercise

Signal, recording Red Hood: Suspect acts tough but has read every Jane Austen novel at least six times