I see a lot of social media. So… give me Damian Wayne making social media accounts for Titus, Ace, and Alfred the Cat. Let Alfred the Cat have more followers than the entire family combined. Let Bruce Wayne follow only ten accounts on his official Instagram—and one of them is his son's pets. Give me Damian Wayne celebrating his pets’ birthdays. No one knows when they were actually born, but Damian remembers the days they came into his life, and he celebrates their birthdays because he can and he wants to. Give me the Wayne pets on social media… photos showing how massive Titus is and how he should probably start paying rent at this point. Show Ace constantly getting into fights with Jason and Dick over the clothes, how they're always stealing the clothes. Give me Alfred the Cat judging everyone, or doing something adorable. Just pets. Being soft. Being chaotic. Being beloved.
u know those star shaped winter suits for babies......baby damian in one of those..........
jon captioned it kid just to annoy damian
Here…. Imagine, tim preg. But litreally know one except bernard and tim knows yet.😭😭😭💀💀💀💀
"Imagine, Tim pregnant—" Done.
And, yeah, they would somehow either forget to tell everyone, or they'd just... Not.
—
Tim, throwing up in a dumpster mid patrol:
Stephanie: Oh my god, Red Robin is dying!
Jason: I don't think their doing that bad, sure the place closed on mian, but—
Cassandra: Your brother!
Jason: Huh? Oh.
Bruce: What's happening?
Tim: Oh, nothing, my bad. I just should've swallowed.
Tim, promptly passing out:
Damian: . . . What?
Cass: We've got him.
Stephanie: Spleenless wonder.
—
Tim, calling Jason at three in the afternoon: Jason. I need Subway.
Jason: . . What?
Tim: Bern is still at classes. I'm hungry.
Jason: So go get food.
Tim: Can't, injured my ankles during patrol last night and last time I tried to drive with a sprained ankle I lost my license for a year.
Jason: F#&#&$... Just wait for Bernard to get off classes.
Tim: You're starving me!?
Jason: I am not driving forty minutes to pick you up and get you a sandwich!
Tim: Fine, I'll call Dick.
Jason: He lives over an hour away.
Tim: And, yet, he'll get me a sandwich.
Jason: Oh my gods I wish Bruce closed the door on your face... Fine. Fine! I'm coming! Driving forty f#&$-#& minutes to get you a SANDWICH!
Tim: Thank you.
—
Damian: You've been avoiding spicy foods for than usual lately.
Tim: Uh . . ? Thanks . . ?
Damian: Suspicious.
Tim: No, it's not! I don't like spicy foods.
Damian: You usually eat Alfred's chilli though.
Tim: Well, not tonight.
Damian: Suspicious...
—
Kon: . . . Rob?
Tim: Yeah?
Kon: Why do you have two heartbeats?
Tim:
Kon:
Tim: Bat training.
Kon: Oh, okay.
—
Bernard: You really shouldn't be patrolling while pregnant.
Tim: Probably, but on the bright side I can say our kids been a vigilante since they were in the womb!
Bernard: You're impossible.
Tim: Their first vigilante name can be "The Egg"
Bernard: You're insane.
Tim: Glad you finally realized it.
—
Bruce: Now, this is a high stakes mission, so... Where's Red Robin?
Stephanie: He said he'll pass.
Bruce: . . . What?
Cassandra: He's not coming.
Bruce: . . . Why?
Dick: Maybe he's sick?
Jason: Could be hiding an injury.
Damian: Perhaps he's quit and decided his time is better used maintaining his horrid wreck of a boat.
Duke: Maybe he's pregnant.
Bruce: That's impossible.
Stephanie: How's that impossible?
Bruce: I had birth control specifically made for him.
Dick: He could've stopped taking it.
Damian: Don't be ridiculous, Drake would never willingly continue his cursed bloodline.
Duke: Bruce didn't even want to, man was snagging kids off the streets before he'd willingly get your Mama pregnant.
Damian: SAY THAT TO MY FACE!
Cassandra: No, no fighting.
Bruce: . . . Tim would tell us if he was pregnant, right?
Stephanie: Would any of us tell Bruce if we were pregnant?
Everyone:
Bruce: What?!
Jason: If I was pregnant I'd be on a remote island with Kori and Roy to avoid the stress you f#-$%-$s put me in.
Stephanie: I avoided Bruce like the plague when I was pregnant, he was NOT about to adopt my baby.
Cassandra: I would've terminated the pregnancy a week before I had sex.
Dick: I would be trying to get my life together.
Bruce: Why do you all have plans for this?
Dick: . . . Do you not have plans for this scenario?
Bruce: . . . I—
Stephanie: OH MY GODS, HE DOESN'T HAVE PLANS FOR IF WE GOT PREGNANT!?
Jason: Hate to point it out, but didn't the Joker get pregnant one time?
Bruce: . . . Moving on—
Duke: Why do none of y'all have plans for if your partner was with you?! I'd be chilling with my loving spouse!
Damian: That requires them to be loveable.
Jason: Kori and or Roy would be the reason I got pregnant.
Bruce: CARRYING ON!
—
Stephanie: You're getting fat.
Tim:
Stephanie:
Tim, breaking down into tears:
Stephanie: I'm sorry!? I didn't mean it! I was joking!? Tim, are you okay!?
—
Clark: So, uh, Bruce..?
Bruce: What is it?
Clark: Tim told Kon the other day... something interesting?
Bruce: Spit it out.
Clark: . . . Is it part of bat training to have two heartbeats?
Bruce:
Bruce: What?
Clark: Kon has been hearing double heartbeats from Tim—
Bruce: I gotta go.
—
Tim, snapping pop tarts in half to stick in a large bowl of several different kids of ice cream, then dumping two boxes of pocky into them, topping it with chocolate syrup and powdered sugar: . . . I don't even like sugar—
Bruce: TIMOTHY JACKSON DRAKE-WAYNE!
Tim: Oh no.
—
Bruce:
Dick:
Dick: what do you have in mind old man, you’re scaring me
Bruce: Wally has children.
Dick:
Dick: I am perfectly aware of that-
Bruce: three kids. Almost old as you were when you started crime fighting.
Dick:
Bruce: I want grandchildren Dick. I want you married. Barry has grandchildren, Diana had grandchildren, Oliver fuckin’ Queen has grandchildren. I better have them before Jon Kent marry.
Dick: Jesus Christ…
Miku fan Damian!? Yes please I've been saying this for years! That's his girl right there! 🥲
YES, HE IS HER NUMBER ONE FAN
Can u guess what his favorite song is?
lmao this is hilarious
"At least there's always Tim"
this fic
Inspired by Citrusy sweetness (sunlitlemonade)
- Or little Jason can't peel oranges properly, good thing he has a big brother for that.
There is a fanfic where Tim Drake has the canary cry and I can not find it. I saw it recommended by someone on tiktok and I CANT FIND IT. Please help me Im going insane.
Damian wanted a magical weapon and instead got a magical animal guardian </3
gonna get ahead of the curve and acknowledge this before it gets pointed out yes I’m aware that I chose outs at different stages of their lives but a) I refuse to draw Jon aged up mostly bc they sucked out all his individuality and b) I have other plans for Damian’s traditional Robin suit that he wears in Supersons. The outfit I gave Damian here is to match the rough timeline I’ve drawn his family in. I’m waggling my finger, it was on purpose so I better not see any gripes.