Hey Kid You Want A Job?

Hey kid you want a job?

Great get online and go to a job board. Indeed, Linkedin whatever. Now you're gonna search for a role that's in your city, fits your qualifications, and doesn't seem like a bad time.

See that easy apply button? Don't hit it they just throw those in the trash. Now you're gonna want to go to the company's website and check their careers page.

Oh? That job doesn't exist anymore. Cool go back to the job board and find another one.

Great you found another job, you're on the company's career page and the job exists!! So you're going to need to make an account on the career page website. They're using Workday, the same site as the last job you applied for? Who cares? You need to make another account for THIS job's workday page.

Now you're going to upload your resume. That'll autopopulate about 15 boxes with everything on your resume, except formatted wrong and with tons of errors. So just go through and painstakingly check the dates on all of that and rewrite everything you already laid out in an aesthetically pleasing format on your resume.

Ok time for the cover letter, explain why this specific job and company are deeply important to you. You love their mission statement and wouldn't even laugh if their ceo was gunned down in the street. You'll really want to reiterate the things you just spent the last 20 minutes filling out on the resume section

(Remember to include language from the job description, people who work in HR are lower than dogs and they need patterns or they get confused.) Write about a page, but hey don't sound too desperate or robotic this is where they judge your character!

Maybe add your portfolio site at the end here, who knows if that helps no one has ever clicked mine haha.

Anywayyy time to hit apply! Congrats! You'll see that confirmation email come in and you should be getting the rejection letter in about 2 weeks. Unfortunately your resume didn't have the right buzzwords and the AI auto rejected you :(

Time to start again and try not to kill yourself!

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vicstuf

2 years ago

I'm sick of going to doctors I want Baymax to treat me

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1 year ago

I love how my wrapped basically means that I was heavily depressed half of the year, manic the other half, and in the mood for woodland fae sex during all of it, there's no other interpretation that will make me happy.

Happy self awareness wrapped day !

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Spotify hozier spotify wrapped noah kahan taylor swift conan gray florence and the machine wrapped 2023 i am suffering the bare weight of my own decisions

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1 year ago

fags are allowed to say dyke and dykes are allowed to say fag in the same way that youre allowed to run up and slap your sibling on the back of the head

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10 months ago

Two drawings that picture teen dick Grayson and child Tim Drake, in the first one we see Dick holding a laughing Tim up by the arms and saying "C'mon Timmy keep your form." Tim has his legs folded, indicating little interest for learning circus moves but they're both happy.

In the second one we see teen Dick and child Tim again. This time, it shows sleepy Dick in a pink shirt and red plaid pyjama pants with Tim burying his face in his shirt, seemingly afraid, the the speech bubble reads: "I told you watching monster house would give you nightmares"

Dick and Tim sibling shenanigans, breathe my way and ill draw Jason.

Richard Grayson, my dearest oldest sibling, they could never make me hate you

we see Dick holding a laughing Tim up by the arms and saying "C'mon Timmy keep your form." Tim has his legs folded, indicating little interest for learning circus moves but they're both happy.

we see teen Dick and child Tim again. This time, it shows sleepy Dick in a pink shirt and red plaid pyjama pants with Tim burying his face in his shirt, seemingly afraid, the the speech bubble reads: "I told you watching monster house would give you nightmares"

Tags

my art they are so silly batman dick grayson tim drake red robin batfamily robin nightwing batsiblings they are siblings your honor I will die before thinking Bruce Wayne is not a good father I know Dick tried to teach circus routines to Tim you will never convince me otherwise

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vicstuf

1 year ago

Pick an option at random :)

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vicstuf

10 months ago

The first time I made crispy roasted chickpeas (for the stew), I said to my husband, “Now that I know how easy these are, I’m unstoppable.”

The second time I made them (for a salad topping), I said, “Do you want any more of these to snack on? I might have some more, but I don’t know… Actually, these are so easy I can’t afford not to eat them.”

Honestly? Life-changing snack. Go fuck myself. Wonderful chickpea revolution. Here’s what you do: dry these beans as much as you can (strainer, then paper towels), toss with olive oil and salt, bake on tray at 200c for like 30 minutes, stirring 2~3 times. Sprinkle with delicious spices, or pop directly in mouth.

(Also, the salad dressing is yogurt, tahini, roasted garlic, lemon, and olive oil, blended roughly with a fork and left in the fridge a few hours. It is also delicious.)

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vicstuf

1 year ago

Sorry to bring this vibe to the club but the first bird is just jacking off

A mating dance (?)

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birds tiktok video douyin

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vicstuf

9 months ago

this graph from Jacob Geller's new video depicting the ratio of good characters torturing people on screen to bad characters torturing people on screen within the Call of Duty series is driving me crazy

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vicstuf

1 year ago

THE ABSOLUTE CURSE OF MY EXISTENCE.

I harbor a different type of hate in my body for this, thank you for reminding me op

Bruh i was just like a few seconds away from falling asleep when i remembered i didnt take my makeup off </333

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vicstuf

9 months ago

can i humbly ask for dickwing and jaybin pretty pls<3

Sorry this took me so long, university JUST stopped kicking my ass lol.

I am aware that this isn’t canon, however, what is canon but a suggestion to me. You can take Dick and Jason being good siblings from my cold dead hands.

Anyways, I hope you enjoy it LMAO

Can I Humbly Ask For Dickwing And Jaybin Pretty Pls

Tags

my art batfam batman red hood dick grayson tim drake red robin batfamily jason todd nightwing batsiblings FUCK engineering let me draw these stupid little siblings Anyway they were inseparable as kids and so are they now CANON IS A SUGGESTION That I choose to ignore

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