Voidofstarryink - There Is Something Here

My Stanley is going around and giving people he likes moss. Would you like some?

Narrator doesn’t understand how amazing a gift of moss from such a wonderful Stanley is. Stanley and I do.

@corruptedsl1me

I have an important question

IS THERE ANY FANFIC OUT THERE THAT PUTS THE READER INTO THE STORY BUT NOT TO BE SHIPPED WITH A CHARACTER AND IS THERE TO SUPPORT TWO CHARACTERS IN THEIR RELATIONSHIP CAUSE I WOULD READ THE HECK OUTTA THAT

ESPECIALLY IF IT’S ONE OF MY SHIPS. I WANT THE READER INSERTS WHERE THE READER DOESNT GET IN A RELATIONSHIP BUT HELPS WITH ONE

Things they don’t tell you about top surgery

- Talk to the surgeon about the size you want your new areolas/nipples (don’t be afraid to ask)

- Numbness. No one talks about this for guys who are about to have surgery. You’re going to be numb all in your chest area, especially where the incisions were. They cut nerves as they pass along your chest, and it can take up to a year to regenerate those nerves. Still, feels super foreign for the first two weeks

- Make your bed into a pillow chair, body pillow, two on each side, and two for your head. 

- Sleep alone. I tried to sleep with my girlfriend and it was miserable. You really do need the entire bed for yourself

- Go on Groupon, & get yourself a 10 foot lightning cable iPhone charger, BEST THING EVER, can reach from wherever you are

- Don’t take a week off from work, take two. You will regret the one week, and love the extra time

- When they say “don’t move too much, even after the first week”. LISTEN. I moved way too much and got so sore super quickly. 

- Drink lots of water & eat if your taking the pain medication, otherwise your stomach feels super funky.

- Get stool softeners, & don’t be afraid to take those babies. Don’t wait a week to poop. you’ll surely regret it. 

- The drains are scary & they may hurt while draining or rewrapping your dressings, but once they come out, the second they do, its no more pain, its crazy. 

i hope this helps someone, because i wish i knew all of this when i was having mine a month ago. Looking back its like everyone forgets all the real negatives, its a great experience, & i healed very well & quick compared to most, but the first few days are crazy. They hurt, suck but it gets better. 

IT'S FINALLY DONE. 2 minutes of narrator talking with his six fucking arms and a very bored stanley.

(please reblog! :) and comments are appreciated as well)

becoming an adult cheat sheet!

learn to coupon

what to do when you can’t afford therapy

cleaning your bathroom

what to do when you can’t pay your bills

stress management

quick fix meals

find out if you’re paying too much for your cell phone bill

resume workshop

organize your closet

how to take care of yourself when you’re sick

what you should bring to a doctor’s appointment

what’s a mortgage?

how to pick a health insurance plan

hotlines list

your first gynecology appointment

what to do if the cops pull you over

things to have in your car in case of emergency

my moving out masterpost

how to make friends as an adult (video)

how to do taxes (video)

recommended reads for surviving adulthood (video)

change a flat tire (video)

how to do laundry (video)

opening a bank account (video)

laundry cheat sheet

recipes masterpost

tricks to help you sleep more

what the fuck should you make for dinner?

where should you go for drinks?

alcohol: know your limits

easy makeup tips

find seat maps for your flight

self-defense tips

prevent hangovers

workout masterpost

how to write a check

career builder

browse careers

birth control information

financial management software & app (free)

my mental health masterpost

my college applications masterpost

how to jumpstart a car

sex ed masterpost

Touch? In MY Stanley Parable?? That’s not supposed to happen. I do believe an out-of-map crisis is in order

Look, I’m not saying if Herman Melville was alive today he would totally have an A03/fanfiction.net account… but that’s exactly what I’m saying.

Still went a little over my time limit for this one, but getting faster I think.

Humans are fucking masochists. Like humans will eat spicy food even if their eyes start burning and they start dicipating from the spice.

Alien: I found this absolute hazardous material in your home planet and I am quite scared for how to dispose of it.

Human: Oh dear, what is it? Maybe I'd know what to do. Uranium? Mercury?

Alien: Uh...I'm not sure but my fellow crewmate tried to inhale it and...they started coughing a lot and their eyes became irritated and I can't even imagine what would have happened if they put it in their mouth.

Human: Oh...um, can you show me?

Alien: *brings out the hazardous material in a glass, secure container*

Human: That's...that's a freaking pepper.

Alien: You know what it is? Now tell me, how do we dispose of it?

Human: Y-you don't dispose it! You eat it!!

Alien: ...what.

Human: *opens container and starts biting into it to show the alien and starts enjoying the snack half-way* ooh, that's gooooodddd *tears running down their cheeks*

Alien: *slowly backs away while making eye-contact* ...make yourself seem bigger to the predator...make yourself seem bigger to the predator...