“So, I Don't Blame You, If You Want To Bury Me In Your Memory. I'm Not The Girl I Ought To Be, But

My new favourite headcanon that I made up, last night when I was supposed to be sleeping:

It’s that Pete made up all the marauders nicknames while he was high and the conversation went a little something like..

Remus: Pete how much did you have?

Pete: [very clearly high out of his mind] .. ‘othing.

Sirius: oh you’re absolutely wasted

Pete: nuhhh..

James: cmon Pete, let’s get you to bed

Pete: no!!.. you heard did ya?

James: sorry?

Pete: that people make nicknames.. like moonguy over there.. [lazily points his hand over to Remus’ direction]

James & Sirius: [laughing] moonguy??

Remus: oh my god.

Pete: I mean y’all.. don’t talk

Sirius: ..we can’t talk..?

Pete: yea.. you- have pads on your feet.. so you- *gags*

James: oh Padfoot come help me bring him to the bathroom *smirks*

Sirius: ..I hate you

Remus: Not so funny anymore is it?

Pete: oka.. moon..y

Sirius: ..moony..!

James: I like Moony better

Remus: I hate you all.

Sirius: *blows a kiss to Remus*

James: *helping Peter get to the bathroom*

Pete: why..?

Prongs: pardon?

Sirius: what’s he saying?

James: uhh, I don’t know

Pete: you have no..

James: who? ..Me or Sirius?

Pete: both.. you

James: what don’t I have?

Pete: noo uhh. no, no collar-

Pete: I see deers with collars in zoos..

James: well I don’t want to wear a collar, that’s for wild deer

Sirius: *walks in*

Pete: you should get a.. met.. ual one..

James: metal?

Sirius: a what?

Pete: Like a..

Sirius: a metal collar? What like a prongs? Aren’t they for dogs..-

Pete: prongs..! *hugs James*

Sirius: oh! Ha Prongs!! *hugs Pete & James*

Remus: huh?

Sirius: Pete came up with another nickname!

Remus: Hold up we’re not actually gonna use them? Are we??

Sirius: of course we are.. Moony

Remus: I hate you

James: *says from the bathroom* So Remus is Moony, Sirius is Padfoot and, apparently, I’m Prongs.

Remus: what’s Peter going to be?

James: well his Animagus is a rat so we can make something out of that-

Sirius: ..rattail..!

Remus: rat’s tails look like worms kinda.. or maybe-

Sirius: wormtail!!

Pete: nuh.. uh. *still over in the toilet*

James: it’s perfect.

And that’s how they got their nicknames, thank you for listening

As much as I love Jegulus.., I feel like James realistically wouldn’t be able to be in that state of “I really really love him” and Regulus only being in “I mean he’s alright, I like his company” stage.

James is a simp but he also has standards, he loves love but he also knows that sometimes love is better left alone (Effie helped he come to the conclusion).

“I don’t think I love him anymore.” James spoke, he sounded terrified.

~

“I’ve never loved anyone more than him.” Regulus spoke, he sounded terrified.

~

Sirius looked at James and sighed,”I feel like I should be scolding you but it’s your heart and he was lucky to have you.”

~

Evan looked at Regulus and sighed, “I feel like I should be scolding you but it’s your heart and he is lucky to have you.”

~

“I know”

~

“I know”

I show a post saying Barty went around telling everyone him and James were dating

so I wanted to make a little thingy

It probably started when someone was flirting with Barty and he wanted to get away and went: “shit I got to.. go see” *tries to think of something, mind goes to James* “my boyfriend!” (??). Then he keeps it going for shits and giggles, and then he panics when ppl ask him about it cause he doesn’t know why he thought of James out of everyone

———————————

A Ravenclaw: *flirting with Barty* so crouch.. I heard a little rumour that you fancy people with brains..

Barty: [who would rather be anywhere but there]

Barry: uhhh.. yeah I do, did you know Gryffindors are quite smart too? Like uhhh.. James Potter, for example, like his my boyfriend yk? and all-

Ravenclaw: ..what?

Ravenclaw: Oh. That’s cool I just thought- ykw nvm.

Barty: yeah you didn’t know that? We’re dating

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Hufflepuff: so Barty..

Hufflepuff: [flutters eyelashes, smirks and puts hand on Barry’s thigh]

Hufflepuff: what do you do even Quidditch is on? Do you go back to your dorm.. because I could tag along..

Barty: no, I don’t. I actually uh, I normally go hang out with my.. boyfriend, James Potter. Yk the one who your team lost to? The captain and prefect? The one-

Hufflepuff: .. I’ll go.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Doesn’t even make sense cause James would either be playing or watching all the games, but Barty wasn’t thinking)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Marlene: Barty!

Barty: what?

Marlene: what is it I’m hearing ‘bout you and Jamie?

Barty: ..

Barty: uhh, where’d you hear that?

Marlene: I was near some Hufflepuffs and heard a mention of it

Barty: why you snooping near Hufflepuffs?

Marlene: don’t change the subject. What’s the deal?

Barty: I needed an excuse to get away from ppl so yk.. I used him as an excuse

Marlene: why James tho? Wouldn’t Evan be more useful, cause you see him daily

Barty: .. James was just the first person I thought of

Marlene: ..

Barty: I guess

Marlene: ..alright then-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dorcas: Barty.. why?

Barty: ‘why’ what? I didn’t even do anything!

Dorcas: Oh, so running around saying your dating, Potter? Is nothing?

Barty: you heard that did ya?

Dorcas: of course I did, I hear everything. May as well call me “Rita fucking Skeeter”

Barty: okay I did! People were annoying me and I just said “My boyfriend needed me” and just threw Potter’s name in there so people would shut up and leave me alone!

Barty: god do people ever stop and leave me alone? Stop asking me about it god!

Dorcas: ..

Dorcas: okay.. my bad then

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ron “you know how to ball” Weasley.

Hermione “I know Aristotle” Granger.

“He said, “I’m not a donor but I’d give you my heart if you needed it”. She rolled her eyes and said, “You’re a professional”. He said, “No, I’m a Good Samarita”.”

Buts it’s actually Jily.

“Do you wanna where I was April 29?”

Thinking about gay dead wizards ykyk

James: *watching Sirius look lovingly at Remus, Marlene to Dorcas, Lily to Pandora, ect*

James: god why can’t anyone look at me like that?

Someone from the Slytherin table: …

Remus “I can’t love you, anymore” Lupin.

Sirius “I can’t love you any more” Black.

Regulus “I can’t love you, anymore” Black.

James “I can’t love you any more” Potter.

Yearning Gay and Chaotic bisexual might just be my favourite trope