Now Give The Donkey A Drink Of Pure Wine..... To Wash Down The Figs..!

Me: *gets something from Starbucks for my gf that I think she'll like but am not sure of and surprises her with it*

Her: *likes it*

Me: yay! I did a good job in boyfriend. This is something both possible to achieve, and perfectly normal to want

*lifts wig slightly*

Madame

This is gonna sound stupid as hell which why I'm saying this here instead of a social media platform where I am identifiable. But ladies if you take a photo where your stomach is showing don't suck in your gut.

Logically speaking it's easy to tell, you're not fooling anyone. Emotionally speaking, let your tummy tub stick out, your tum tum is cute and don't let anyone tell you otherwise

Today is the only day ever for the rest of time that you can reblog this

Glad he got help

My hyperfixation is throwing steak knives at the other students during recess

What about just one side being against the wall

sorry but if your bed isn’t against at least one wall you’re not valid

"What is it that the child has to teach?

The child naively believes that everything should be fair and everyone should be honest, that only good should prevail, that everybody should have what they want and there should be no pain or sadness. The child believes the world should be perfect and is outraged to discover it is not.

And the child is right."

— Rabbi Tzvi Freeman

Bsh I have to drive to my dads house once a month and it’s 4 hours!

americans think ABSOLUTELY NOTHIN of driving 7 hours. they’ll drive 7 hours just for dinner. they’ll drive 7 hours just for chips and dip

This is a Wise statement

why did i just open up tumblr to a bunch of rat memes?