Bob Pepper - A Scanner Darkly, 1977.

You’re all fucked and overrated, i think I’m gonna be sick and it’s your fault.

My best friend just got married, wasnt even invited.  Oh yeah, 30 years well spent people, ive made so many connections

https://www.youtube.com/embed/MTJJb1UqjuA

I was a big Primus fan, and still am, but once I learned they were just being the residents tying to sound like zappa I got less interested.

The Residents, One Minute Movies

Chapter Something: Junkies Don’t Deserve Your Sympathy

Being a former drug addict ( not heroin though ) I can tell you a few things, and dont worry, I’ll be covering this subject again, and again...consider this a brief synopsis.

1.) Addiction isn’t real, nothings real, the world is completely inside your mind, if addiction is real, it’s because you made it real.  Yes there are physical addictions, so you sweat and puke a few days, man up

2.) It’s your body and mind, what you do with it is your choice, until that choice affects other lives.  See if I OD’d tomorrow, very few people would miss me, no ones lives are actually contingent on mine, when i show up home high and falling over myself, my kids dont miss school, i dont sell their playstation for a fix, i sell MY playstation.  Do whatever you want to yourself, that is your right, but you dont have the right to ruin other lives like the parasitic entity you are.

3.) Junkies are selfish children with victim complexes, dont believe me, talk to one.  It’s always daddy didnt hug me enough, mommy liked my brother more, etc.  They are histrionic nightmares completely absorbed in their fantasy world they’ve made for themselves ( much like people in holywood ) and they will justify everything they do as such.

4.) they will manipulate you, physically, emotionally, you will either be one of their many enemies and or notable mentions in their suicide note, or you’ll be an enabler when they hit some 12 step program, bottom line, they’re never the problem, but everything else is SUPER problematic.

5.) 12 step programs are bullshit, giving yourself up to a higher power and admitting you have no power over your problem, see victim complexes.  Thats just an excuse and removes any and all personal responsibility, much like a catholic going to confessional once a week after hes been a dick hole, youll be a selfish little child all week and fuck over everyone, then call your sponser crying, and then strangers in a meeting will hug you and tell you how its not your fault, and so on and so on, you will never change this way.

6.) Trading one addiction for another isnt being clean ( go ahead, ask me how i know, hey alcohol hurt my nose less atleast ) being manically happy and talking about jesus all the time doesnt fool me that you’re not thinking about that needle 24, and i know you’re not convinced, or youd shut the fuck up and get a hobby.

7.) and finally, there are 7 billion + people on Earth, hard working, intelligent, sad people, everybit as sad as you, and frankly, we dont need your 10th grade education junky ass in the genepool.  I refuse to cry when some junky i knew in a past life dies, all i can think is gee im glad he had 3 kids he didnt raise, im sure with their crackwhore mom and dead junky dad they’ll turn out JUST fine. 

( Remember Idiocracy? )

Having overcome seasickness, and having found my sea legs, I now take great pleasure in climbing to the crows nest at sunset and enjoying my ration of rum heaving to and fro in the waves.  The wind is already starting to chill at night, but in a most refreshing way.  I still know no one on this ship, many people speaking languages unfamiliar to me, and have consequentially often been lost in my own thoughts.  The vast unending sea still seems a foreign visage, however I am slowly acclimating to it, and between anxious contemplation of the wide open spaces find it to be aesthetically pleasing.  Looking out at the wild blue yonder I cant help but contemplate what secrets it holds, and what fates lie on its varied shores.  No man is an island they say, perhaps we are simply archipelagos, and the sea is our only binding commonality.  

Concerning Horoscopes and Tarot Cards

A short summation, Horoscopes: bullshit, Tarot: Psychologically useful, but not for the reasons you think.  Fun fact, men ONLY know horoscopes because women place some weird emphasis on it, fun fact if you let sign compatibility dictate who you date, you deserve to be alone and we dont need your genes in the genepool.

Tarot is interesting ( not mystic at all ) in that depending what pattern you draw, its usually like this is the problem, this is a thing(s) effecting the problem, heres the things affecting you making a decision on how to solve the obstacles of the problem yadda yadda yadda.  theres nothing mystic about it, it just forces you to focus on your problems and possible causes and solutions.

In summation, horoscopes, kill yourself, dont care if youre a virgo or whatever, thats Babylonian babble.  Tarot, try it sometime

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious Disingenuousness

I hate fake enthusiasm, I hate overly friendly/touchy people, disingenuous things in general, dont sell me anything, let me shop around, and maybe I’ll buy.  Young girls are the worst, like age 15-25, “ omg HAI IM BECKY!  It’s SO good to meet you!!! “ Literally no one gives a shit becky, calm the fuck down.

The Russians have this sort of unspoken cultural thing, they never smile at people on the street, rarely do they smile in public period, because when a stranger smiles at you, he’s deceiving you, he wants something from you, there’s no reason to be smiling right now, we dont know eachother.  Smiles are for friends and family only, no smiles for you, asshole.