Uh, anyway, Shane is actually besties with Sam (he'd rather die than admit it though) and they constantly do things to spite Joja and Sam can actually get a good reaction from Shane with some of his jokes. Sam and him were kind of awkward at first, but after a while Sam saw him at the saloon one day and went "HEY!! MY BUDDY SHANE!! COME PLAY POOL WITH US!!" so loudly across the building that everyone turned to stare and Shane almost sped-walked out of the place out of embarrassment (he def stayed and played pool but kept his head down to avoid stares).
Sam constantly talks about funny things Shane does and Abigail and Sebastian are like, "??? The quiet, grumpy town drunk??" But after Sam dragged Shane into so many pool games, Shane loosened up and started a tournament with the old arcade games between the four of them (he kicks everyone's asses at it) and now Seb and Abbi are starting to get it.
There's a competition between him and Sam on who can steal the largest item at Joja without getting caught (Shane has the lead with the pizza he gave farmer)
After Shane stops drinking, Sam is adamant on getting Shane to like joja-cola with him (he's not winning, unfortunately)
One time, Sam bet Shane that he could drink a 12-pack of Joja-cola during one break at work and threw up everywhere from the crazy amount of carbination it has (Even though Shane cried actual tears from laughter, Sam still owed him a pizza because Morris made Shane clean it 😭)
Shane will leave Sam maple bars in his work locker when Sam is having a hard time with his family and denies that it was him (Sam knows) His excuse when caught is that he and Jaz prefer the other donuts in the pack
Shane SUCKS at comforting others, but Sam appreciates the awkward conversation because it just means his buddy is trying to be a good friend.
They both run a secret page that basically makes fun of Morris by posting bad photos or just making a meme out of him
Uh, yeah, anyway. Sam and Shane are besties
IF YOU ARE UNMARRIED, DON'T HAVE KIDS, AND HATE YOUR PARENTS PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD HAVE A FUCKING WILL
this has been a public service announcement from your friendly neighborhood probate lawyer
i was supposed to go to bed an hour ago dont tell my mom
why does every farming/life sim game have a different fishing mechanic and no tutorial for it. you pull out your fishing pole and click on the water and the next thing you know hieroglyphics are flying around everywhere, there's a timer in the bottom right counting down from 47.4, and the whole screen is shaking violently and flashing red every time you move your mouse
Reblog to put one of these in your mutuals’ pocket when they’re not looking
young!fiddauthor is always a fav but my GOD is old fiddauthor funnier. simply because ford, at this point, owes fiddleford breakfast in bed every other day for the next 20 years. at LEAST.
imagine ford rereading his old notes and finding sentences like "fiddleford handmade me 2 gifts but i assume he will accept the gift of holding my nobel prize". fiddleford gets a bouquet, new machine parts, and ford doing all the house chores tomorrow and he doesnt even question why anymore. he just kind of assumes.
local man who used to be a nightmare becomes the most doting husband ever. more at seven.
See this? EX-CULT LEADER? Let me tell you something.
Ratau, yeah he join our cult in future updates. And if that doesn't happen, that I don't see his little paper crown on top of his head while he eats bowl of shit, I'll be very upset.
I have just been aware of communion wafer soup. Have you been made aware of communion wafer soup?
I do not know its origin (heaven? Super hell) that is your job.
That texture has got to be so evil
Don't know how it could happen (and don't care) just a thought about that euclydians can see Ford's shadow and Bill can see Ford
I can’t make pasta any more without mumbling to myself, “wet the drys… then dry the wets…”