五花又

Tomie (1998)

how to be eaten.

dialogue prompts from how to be eaten: a novel by maria adelmann.

people know of you, but do they know you?

'absolute honesty' sounds like 'total crap', to me.

i do wonder what you've all heard about me.

i am just, in general, very hurt.

i know people don't like me.

whatever you heard, maybe it's not the whole story.

you can sell anything, if you know how to package it.

life shouldn't be lived behind a screen.

everything i have, i earned.

no pain without pleasure.

i should have known something was wrong.

what twenty-something hasn't fallen for some creepy asshole?

is originality the goal?

i wasn't special before this and i'm not special now.

i exist beyond your human concept of gender.

don't tell me that you liked me for my personality.

men don't have to pretend to be good.

when people recognize me, they cross the street.

the dead speak to you?

i don't have much room to call anyone else crazy.

nobody listens to what they don't want to hear.

do you really believe me? i don't blame you, if you don't.

i wouldn't waste a lot of time trying to figure out who believes you.

i was too tired to be afraid; or else, i was afraid all the time.

self-care is a neoliberal trap.

you need everything to be all fucked up.

i'm tired of treating you like shit.

i wouldn't even pay me to sleep with me.

a kid couldn't make up something like that.

you always need to be the most interesting person in the room.

thanks, mom, but i can take care of myself.

it's funny, how they can doubt you and blame you in the same breath.

you're always involved in some weirdo catastrophe.

it's easier to see the big picture when you're not involved.

it's easy to pretend you're too cool for something when you already have it.

one morning i tried to diy a sundial.

it's not so bad, kid. come out here and talk to me.

i wasn't actually trying to hurt you. i mean, physically.

if you lose your dignity while winning the game, have you really won?

i think martinis taste like pine trees.

it would've been good tv, but it was just real life.

i try not to waste too much time wanting things.

rich kids are 'inventive'. poor kids just lie.

there will always be a bunch of assholes who don't believe you.

not everything is a love story.

you have a lot of nightmares. what are they about?

where have you broken? where have you healed?

do you think you're capable of love?

i wanted to be me without the context.

my reputation has never been about me.

you look just like your picture.

what if, for some of us, moving on involves finding good in the bad?

talent doesn't mean as much as people pretend it does.

nothing's free and everything is sellable.

there are so many ways to be torn in half.

what would you do if you had money?

Fighting ancient curses (I’m having a migraine)

𝗔 𝗤𝗨𝗘𝗦𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡 : how did akina learn to fight ?

𝗔𝗡𝗦𝗪𝗘𝗥 : well it wasn't much of ' learning ' to begin with since she really didn't have a teacher for it outside the borderland and inside it , if you look at her fighting style in spade games and such you'll see it's often sloppy and brutal .

basically , one night she encounters a fight in the bar she frequents for a few drinks . between a big , tattooed guy she's seen smuggling around and a scrawny old man that used to sell little handmade rings down the street ; barely could talk , but laughed a lot , she even wore one of his rings almost every day because seeing it made him happy . before the third punch could land on his bony face she's stopped the violence . ' hey ! fat asshole . yes you . ' and all of a sudden , the depth that old man owed to these guys was on her .

while her old friend didn't know what was going on , and only took delight in the sweet apple juice akina got for him to enjoy until the bleeding on his temple stopped , she firmly told him not to leave the bar until she came after him . the man's oblivious little nod , and small nod made her flash him a fond smile , kiss his bruised cheek and go back outside .

his friends giggle , the big fight , it's just an empty alley and them and a few pair of eyes that watch . he's like a big bear that wants to devour , she takes out her mint gum and sticks it to the wall . adrenaline does it for her at first , dodging the fists , using the settings on her advantage and slamming his bald head on the wall . but after the first punch her red lipstick mixes with the blood that oozes from her small nose , dizzy and gasping . the giggles are louder . he starts laughing too . . . he laughs and comes closer slowly . she laughs . blinking until her vision is clear , while her laughter confuses him , she raises an index finger to briefly point at him and her face in a ' good punch ' hint . and the adrenaline is back with the punch .

sloppy and brutal as it is , when she was done with him his friends weren't giggling anymore . going back to her old man , his grin widens upon seeing her , ' red ' he mumbles with a bit of difficulty while his finger touches her face . ' red ' she says with a breathless laughter as she carefully puts his money back into his small bag . ' let's get you back home . '

Millennium Mambo (2001) dir. Hou Hsiao-Hsien

Tokyo Vampire Hotel (2017) dir. Sion Sono

if you're not imagining akina's hair like this don't imagine it at all ok .