As A Parent, You Don’t Get Privacy Until You Are On Your Own. My House, My Rules, My Money, My Decision.

Just read TGCF again and couldn't stop imagining long hair Jungkook from BTS as Hua Cheng. Anyone else see it?

If you have irritability/rage/sensory overload issues like I do, I HIGHLY recommend the netflix show Moving Art when you need something soothing to block out the world.

The only sound to it is an orchestra (so if you watch on mute you’re not missing anything), and it’s literally just high quality footage of beautiful, remote places on the planet. Definitely one of my new favorites, and it’s nice to have a quick option to calm down right at my fingertips.

If someone gives you everything, don’t you dare throw it all away like it’s nothing. If you do not want it, then give it back but don’t you ever take something that does not belong to you and ruin it. Don’t pull flowers out of their beds just for the hell of it.

Ming D. Liu (via mingdliu)

2022 Faves ♥ It’s fun to look back and see all the seasons represented. Which one is your favorite?

Pardon the terrible quality, but this, right here, when Sam says, "I'm sorry that I wasn't there to protect you.", it is so, so, so chilling. It makes absolutely clear without being descriptive how terrible Sam's grandmother is, and how much she dominated and mistreated Sam her whole life.

We see that with her estranged sister, one of the first things Sam says to Neung (who she hasn't seen or talked to in years!) is an accusation filled with all her old hurt and anger that Neung abandoned her and Song with their grandmother, who got worse after she left.

Which is terrible because we already know that the Honorable Grandmother got even worse than that again after Song died!

The trauma her grandmother has been responsible for in Sam's life has always been palpable, but it was made especially so in this episode, in this scene, and in this line.

"I'm sorry that I wasn't there to protect you."

From the moment Mon tells her, "Today Lady Grandmother came to your place," Sam immediately knows what happened. We see her heart break, but we also see her fight back her devastation so she can pull Mon closer to her and comfort her. We see how angry she is at herself and horrified that she let Mon face the Honorable Grandmother alone, and we see that as soon as Sam can speak, all she can say is, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

Because Sam is sorry; sorry that she allowed her grandmother to inflict violence and trauma on Mon, because that is what her grandmother does.

...

Sam is very, very clear.

The Honorable Grandmother needs to be protected from.

Like Sam never was after her sisters were gone.

Now this is powerful. Having felt bogged down all the time by thinking I had to be responsible for things that I didn't even have reason to know about was exhausting. Freeing is the feeling of just saying, "I'm not responsible for that," and actually clearing all of whatever it is out of your mind.

Source: Dr. Glenn Doyle

breaking the cycle of generational abuse takes time.

the truth of that cannot be overstated. for a child, it warps and reshapes everything: their understanding of themselves, what their place is in the world and how they engage with it.

when we first meet Sam, she just seems like a cold, aloof, ever-composed high achiever. the more we learn about her past, the clearer it becomes that this was by design, not by choice.

Sam learned from a young age that love and acceptance were contingent upon her compliance. it was transactional- to be earned by meeting her grandmother's expectations, never freely given with no conditions. she took the one thing a child needs the most and dangled it like a prize over Sam’s head, making her work for it.

and if Sam needed any further motivation not to stray from path she was placed on, all she had to do was look to her sisters- both of their lives a tragic example of the consequences of disobeying. imagine how afraid she had to be, and for so, so long. it's heartbreaking.

then Mon came along- letting light and so much love in with her.

with that in mind, next week's preview wasn't a big shock to me. painful, yes- but mainly because it rings so terribly true. the roots of abuse run deep and are long-reaching- often much further than we expect.

I can count on one hand the amount of times I've actually liked high-tension or conflict in a finale. it usually feels like a cheap emotional ploy- lazy writing in an attempt to keep the audience coming back. in my opinion, that's absolutely not what we're seeing here.

the end still remains to be seen, but I have no doubt Sam will finally, permanently end the cycle. it's just that a little more work, a little more struggle, unfortunately- has to happen first.

a toxic foundation laid over a lifetime has finally been cracked, fractured. thanks to love, the biggest work is done. for me, next week doesn't seem like a step back at all.

it's just the last breaking of the wheel.

a note on Nueng, my beloved: sometimes, tough love is incredibly necessary, especially when you're so far gone in a situation that you can't see it for what it is. I was thrilled Nueng was there to provide an equally-strong opposing voice to their grandmother's authority. the one point I strongly disagreed with her on is calling Sam "soft" for continuing to bend to her grandmother's will.

Sam's reluctance to leave even when it's killing her has everything to do with a lifetime of conditioning and love for her grandmother (which she doesn't deserve)- she's not weak; she's a victim. she did find her strength when she walked away, and I fully believe she's going to realize just how strong, capable and worthy of love she is by the end.

You can protect me from everything, but you can't protect me from you.

😭 Jungkook as Hua Cheng from HOB such PERFECTION!