weirdohhh

Latest Posts by weirdohhh

So they saying that one of the reward items in the spring event is... Box of tissues

In/fold please stop I can't😭

pov: you wake up next to me and my allergies are acting up, but that turns you on so maybe it’s not a bad thing.

cw: talking, sneezing, sniffling, buildups, sneezing on you, swearing, some less than sfw talk

i’m very nervous about posting this so please be kind! 😅 i woke up with itchy eyes and a stuffy nose so i decided to induce (ignore the bedhead lol)

by the second half of this video my nose was so itchy, but my dormmate came home so i had to stop inducing

i can post a shorter/more edited version with just the sneezes if people are interested! also sorry for the background noise, i live by a busy street

lastly, DNI if you’re a minor. this is an 18+ account and i’m an adult !!

/disintegrating emoji/

there’s nothing sexier than just knowing that someone is not done sneezing after their first sneeze.

I am not okay with it😭 I started as S/ylus girlie but now I fell conflicted af about love interests in this game... What have you done, C/aleb😩

So C/aleb officially and canonically sneezing from pepper and it's not the first time main character witness it🥰

The scene starts at 4:52😋

The Last Station, 2009

When you have to work but the h0rn of the month is here and instead you scroll Tumbrl and fantasize about a snarky, prideful man absolutely wrecked by a cold, shivering and sniffling as his facade crumbles and exposes his weak, pathetic little soul, and his breath hitches and he hisses through gritted teeth, "n... ndot again"

I’ve been *DYING* to listen to you and your girlfriends wav

inducing my girlfriend @sapphicsnzs with chhinkni made BOTH of us extremely sneezy per the laws of my nose and honeymoon rhinitis…let’s just say i tried So hard to hold back and let her doing the sneezing but we ended up taking turns sneezing all over each other :) i hope you enjoy, hopefully we’ll be able to record some better wavs in the future 

also i’m so sorry that the audio quality is awful AND my sneezes sound really weird because i was stuffy from a cold + that combined with trying to hold back while my gf induced made my attempts at stifling sound a lot different than my normal sneezes….so i’m very insecure about this wav on top of being shy about the honeymoon rhinitis aspect so…be nice pls

😳🥵

Oh, So much cat fur || L/A/DS Z/ayne x MC

I made an ao3 a bit ago. I've been a lurker on there since...idk...years, but. I'm going to uhh...i think post fics there too haha. may or may not see some crossposting. i'm being wild and it's also going to have regular fics (haha, that is if i decide i'm writing in the first place xD) there's one snz fic and one vanilla fic right now lol. Am i nervous? sure, but like- also i've lost it, idk. here we are. anyways. I'm so into LADS rn. here we are. i want to write more, but i always say that, write one thing, and disappear for another 5 months. maybe i'll change, who knows. I’m taking advantage of my motivation while I’ve got it rn

the portal, to...a fic in my ao3 lol. but i'll also put the fic here under the cut...because..why not?

Zayne, sneezing, because little kitty Zayne is choking on his own fur!!?? HUH!? OK SIR!?

======================

Zayne was always a neat and orderly person. It irked him that he was the cause of the copious amount of cat hair that was beginning to collect–on him and his furniture. 

Ever since the bizarre event that had left him with cat ears and a long, fluffy tail, he had been doing his best to maintain his cleanliness. This was lasting longer than he had wistfully hoped. 

He was shedding everywhere. 

The elegant strands of his midnight fur that adorned his cat features had begun piling up, turning his couch and sheets a grayish hue. He practically ate cat hair with every meal now. If anyone had a pet that shed, they would understand. 

Zayne had decided in order to lessen the amount of shed fur, he would brush his ears and tail three times a day. It was just about time to start his midday grooming session. He figured there should be enough time before you came over for lunch. 

Oftentimes, if you spent the evening with him–whether it was in his office or in his apartment–he would let you brush him. It was soothing. He would just melt into your touch. 

He got to work, grabbing his brush and finding a comfy space on the wood floors. 

How long has it been since he’s vacuumed? He admitted to himself, he had begun to slack on the cleaning. It had gotten exhausting keeping up with the amounts of sweeping he had to do everyday and becoming a cat has made him more prone to naps these days. Therefore, his floors were gaining quite the collection of cat fur. 

Zayne sighed slightly as he settled onto the floor in a cross legged position. However, no matter how gentle he sat down, it  hadn’t stopped him from stirring up the stray strands of fur into the air. He started on his 

With the precise motions of a surgeon, he ran the brush over his ears first. An attempt to ensure that each motion was controlled as to not let too much cat fur fly. The feeling was pleasant, he almost purred. 

Strands of his soft black fur detached from the brush, regardless of his attempts, drifting lazily through the air. 

He watched them float.

A small sigh left his lips. No matter how careful he was, the fur would go wherever it felt. The sun’s rays illuminated the fur flying through the air, accentuating how they floated gently before landing on his clothes, his floor–his face.

He gave a frustrated exhale from his nose, blowing the cat furs away from his nostrils. Then, he moved on to brushing his tail. He wasn’t a big fan of brushing his tail. It was a human scaled version of a maine coone’s tail, those of which were already long and fluffy. He swiftly moved the brush through his tail. Unlike his ears, this took more effort and these strands were more prone to flying wherever they felt like. 

More and more fur lifted into the air, curling in invisible trails around him. It was like a mini cloud of cat fur always hung around him. 

That’s when he felt it. 

A faint, miniscule tickle on the tip of his nose. It was hardly worth acknowledging at first. Just a light sensation that teased the edges of his sinuses. His nostrils gave a tiny twitch, and then nothing.

Zayne continued brushing, doing his best not to acknowledge any sensations on his face. This of course, scattered more fur into the air around him. Not that it could be helped. Still, he refused to give into the growing irritation, or acknowledge the way his breath had begun to catch. He was still in control. He could do this. 

He finally made it to the ends of his tail. The fullest, most luxurious part. It was beautiful, yet he cursed it. Although, you personally loved when he let you run your hands through it. He gave a few generous strokes, running the bristles through the fur with precision. 

More and more fur detached, swirled through the air, landing everywhere. 

His breath hitched. The tickle was beginning to settle in the back of his nose as he continued. He gave a particularly harsh tug on his next stroke as a knot had nestled itself deep in his fur. Big mistake on his end. A small plume of fur flew up into the air, curling directly into his face. He could feel each ticklish strand land on, around, and in his nose. The teased and tickled as he shakily inhaled. 

“No, no, n-nhh…I d-don’t– don’t need to snihHh–sneeze–” 

His nostrils flared, protesting the cat fur that tickled his nose. His breath hitched and stuttered, chest heaving. Fighting a losing battle, he finally raised his hand up to his nose. He wasn’t allergic to cat hairs, but his nose was quite sensitive to the touch. 

At last, his breath caught.

“Hhh–hh’Tscht!” He pinched the first sneeze off behind his fingers. It was refined and quiet, yet it did not relieve him from the tickle that plagued his nose. Before he had time to think, his nose protested once again, and suddenly once became six times.

“Heh-’Tcht! –eH’Tcht! N–tchtt! ‘Tch! ‘Tch! ‘tchhh!” Zayne wasn’t going to stop anytime soon if he didn’t release his nose to expel the cat fur, but habits kept him from doing so. “ahH–...s-so tickly..s-stuhHh’tcht!! ehH’Tcht! S-stupid cat f-fur’TCHT! ehH–’Tcht!” 

Each sneeze–albeit quite–harshly jerked his body and shook more cat fur into the air.

“Sh-hiH-iHt’Tgxt’ch! ah–Tchtt! hihH–heh’Tchht!” 

His body repeatedly betrayed him as his nose gave in to the itch–even as he fought to suppress them. Somewhere in the midst, he heard his door unlock. ‘Oh no, they’re here already. How long hahH– has it b-been?’ With all the commotion from his nose he had forgotten you were coming over. 

Soon, he heard the sound of your feet headed in his direction.

“Zayne? Are you… wh-what happened to you?” You tried to cover up your amusement by coughing to hide your laughter. Zayne tried his best to glare at you through his bleary eyes.

“T-too muhh’Tchh! hehH’TChh! Toomuchcatfur ahH–’TChh!!!” He stuttered out through the sneezes. “Hehh…I-I can’t s-stohH–p…”.

“Do you maybe think, you should, perhaps, take your hand off your nose? Stop stifling mayhaps? Or would you rather forever trap those tickly–”

“hehH–eH’DTZsh’iiihh!!” Even the mere word tickly made his nose burst. At least he finally let himself release the sneezes freely, “ahEhH’DZSH–iihhh!! eHEH’DSZHIew! heh’DZSH–IIHH–…hhh..”.

You clicked your tongue in feigned disappointment, “Kitty Zayne choking on his own fur?”

His ears flattened as he sniffled the mess back, rosy cheeks gave away his embarrassment. You gave him a cheeky smile as you pulled some tissues out of your back pocket. You held them out, nudging them towards his face as he still glared (lovingly) at you.

“This is n-not amuHh…amusing…hh…hH’iHhh–’Tschhh!” He sneezed again and hastily grabbed for the tissues. He blew his nose harshly in an attempt to evict any stray cat fur left in his nose. 

“Well, I found it quite amusing,” You giggled as you plopped down on the floor right in front of him, “though you had me worried for a moment there when you wouldn’t open your door or respond to your phone.”

He looked back at you above the tissues as he examined the expression on your face. A look of both amusement and relief. 

“I did…not mean to worry you. Apologies, my dear,” He sighed, his lips twitched into a small smile. 

“It’s no worries! The scene I walked into made up for it. Imagine, me walking in, worried, just to find you sitting on the floor, sneezing your head off, surrounded by a cloud of your own fur–”

“OhH–no wh–y–heH’TSCHHH! eH’Tschh! eH’Tch! ‘tch–’tch–’tch…heh…haHh–e’Tschhhh! Why did you have to mention it again?” He once again blew his nose into the tissues. Though they were quite wet by now. You threw your head back, cackling.

“I’m sorry, Zayne!! I didn’t realize you were so suggestible!” Regardless of his embarrassment, your laughter was still music to his ears. 

“Mhm…what will I ever do with you, hm?” He let out an amused sigh. 

“Why don’t we settle onto the couch instead of going out today? Now seems like a perfect time for an afternoon nap, yeah?” You beamed as you reached to scratch his ears. Miraculously, your hand made it to his ears before he could stop you. He let out a small pur, which in turn caused his cheeks to turn a deeper shade of red.

“S-sounds good to me,” he finally replied after he let you scritch behind his ears. You knew he enjoyed that spot. You hummed happily and helped him up from the floor. Zayne followed without protest, unable to stop the small purrs that escaped his throat.

Moments later, the two of you were nestled together on his plush sofa. Zayne’s breaths were slow and steady, though a faint sniffle escaped him now and then. The sneezing had finally eased, leaving his little cat-self drowsy. His tail curled lazily over your legs and with each soft exhale, his ears would give a tiny flick. He was the first to doze off, with you not too far behind.

Mo xiang tong xiu be like😭😭😭

I always giggle when I think about it...

Am I psycho?

I think it's the sign I needed ordering my pizza and a new toy rn

🤭

Sometimes self-care is just taking an extra large bong rip and masturbating for an hour.

how it started how it’s going

I just know he has been waiting to do that for a long time

😍😍😍

Introducing, my first Al/hai/th/am wav, and first snz vid I am making!! Thanks so much to @hachiibun for helping me bring this to life by editing everything!! (And I hope you all enjoy the funny bonuses at the end)

CW: False starts, sniffling, stifles, some nose blowing, coughing (in ending bonuses)

You, the Traveler, visit Alhaitham at his home at the insistence of Kaveh only to find him struggling after purchasing books from the House of Daena without realizing how dusty they are.

Perhaps your company might be just what helps him experience relief from his allergies.

(This is our first time trying something like this! We hope you enjoy!)

Recorded in VRChat

Actor: @alans-snz

Editor: @hachiibun

🚫 DO NOT REBLOG TO NON-KINK BLOGS 🚫

Rank L/&DS sneezes?

YES ABSOLUTELY 🫡

Okay my #1 is Z/ayne's (no surprise) from the catboy event but SPECIFICALLY the Japanese VA's version. His English version was really basic but this one sounds so real? And the little hitch beforehand?? What if I die!!! This also gets HUGE bonus points simply for being allergy-related (I know what I'm about okay 😼)

#2 gotta be this recent one from R/afayel simply because I gotta give credit where it's due! Like ummm he did NOT need to drag out the build up like that, but boy howdy am I glad he did 🤩

#3 is this one (skip to about 1:45) from S/ylus, which doesn't have audio but I'm soooo certain is a sneeze. Actually this would be my #2 if not for R/afayel being so Extra because S/ylus is SO fucking hot... not to mention the intimate/sexual context this happened in??? M/C stronger than me because I would've fallen to my KNEES 🫠

#4 is this one from C/aleb, which was such a surprise to get so soon after his introduction? 😳 I'm not as emotionally invested in him though so it just didn't hit the same as the others! Idk, any sneeze we get from this game is an instant blast of serotonin, someone just has to rank last 😔

I could stop here but I feel like there also needs to be some honorable mentions... specifically for this??? (skip to 0:26) It's hard to say if he does actually sneeze though... although some vanillas claim he's just really quiet (hot) (and also aligns with the one at #3) or that he almost sneezed but held it back (also hot). If I were more certain, this could be my #1 because his expression and what you can hear in his voice is WORLD ending to me 🫣

There's also another R/afayel one SOMEWHERE that I have not been able to locate again... as I recall it was a quiet little sneeze and not nearly as notable as the one I linked above so? No clue where it would fall in the lineup but it's out there I swear!!

🔊 CARE-SNAKE-ING: Feelin' Crook 🍒🐍Haz/bin Ho/tel Wav

ALL PROJECTS WILL ALWAYS BE STRICTLY AI FREE

WAP BAM BOOM Alacazam! Here it is folks, the second haz wav project in the series! Wav is dedicated on 🍀 St. Patrick's Day to my Irish buddy and fellow Cherri/Snake enthusiast @very-freakin-effable! Wav would not have been completed without your support... and thanks to Effy and @themiseryandcompany for beta reading the script. I really appreciate it, dolcezze 😌💗💗💗

CARE-SNAKE-ING: Feelin' Crook: Our chaotic couple have their version of date night in the doomsday district, battling a gang of thugs that have hijacked a shipment of beelzejuice heading to the hotel! However, Pen/tious quickly discovers his lady isn't feeling quite up to snuff. But getting Cherr/i to slow down and admit that she's sick is a battle of it's own.

CW: A SLEW of wacky voices (cough drops were NEEDED on this one folks.), Slow burn...sneezes come a bit later, good things come to those who wait. Badass BG music, fast paced action/combat audio, Sounds of Gunfire, explosives and other fututistic weaponry, explicit dialogue, sounds of illness, loud rough female cold sneezing, mention of drug use, coughing, denial, emotional comfort and tender soft CARE-SNAKE-ING.

Script is below, enjoy!

~ Baci Baci, Pink

🍒🐍 CARE - SNAKE - ING - SCRIPT

(Scene 1 - We close in on a dark seedy area of the Pentagram’s Doomsday District, a small group of THUGS has taken one of the shipments of alcohol heading to the nearby Hazbin Hotel. A hellhound, THUG #1, the leader, in amongst the group of shifty lowlives is talking into a phone, going over the details of the stolen shipment.)

THUG #1: (chuckles) Yeah…Me an' the guys have secured the area an' the goods. Hijacked that truck heading to that crummy hotel on the edge of the ring, shipment of Beelzejuice straight in from Gluttony…We were just leaving…

(He laughs and gestures at the truck)

THUG #1: Hey! Who wants a cold one?-

(The THUGS however are not alone and aren’t getting away with the spoils that easily. A hissing posh accent sharply draws the attention of the group. A slithering figure approaches out of the shadows, wielding a ray gun that powers up, ready to take a shot.)  

SIR PENTIOUS: Not so fast, you Pigeon-livered jolluck!...If I’m not mistaken you’ve got something that doesn't belong to you and I'm not above brute force…Hand over the libations and nobody gets hurt!

(The hellhound seems to know PEN well enough and approaches.)

THUG #1: Pentious! Been a while, y'slimy bag of farts…Seems someone finally grew balls, but not the brains…

(The THUGS laugh, but PEN stands his ground, unwavering as they taunt like schoolyard bullies.)

THUG #1: We still gotcha outnumbered, dickless! All on your lonesome…

(The band of uglies laugh again, and cock and load their weapons toward the snake. Mostly guns…but seems like one brought a sword to a gunfight. The leader laughs maniacally.)

THUG #1: Where's the girl, Ol’ man?

(Always knowing how to make an entrance, an explosion comes from overhead, signalling the presence of the ballistic belle of chaos…)

CHERRI BOMB: RIGHT HERE, BITCH! And SHE…is on fucking fire today!…Sorry m'late, handsome!

PENTIOUS: (delighted, called upward.) Ah! Not at all, you're right on time, darling!

CHERRI: (cheerily) Look out below!

(She slides down a gutter pipe on the side of the building to reach their level, PEN takes her hand as she lands to check in and make sure she is alright. CHERRI thanks her partner, then turns to enact her first verbal blows, getting up close and personal to the hellhound. The much shorter woman is not intimidated in the slightest, pointing directly at the leader's chest.)

CHERRI: (overzealous) Who’re calling dickless, dickless? Listen, NO ONE…talks about my man like that…except for me, especially what’s going on downunder. If you ask me, you're just jealous cause he got two bananas in his bunch.

PENTIOUS: (blushing, embarrassed) Oh, Cherri!

CHERRI: Y'know…Two can play your game, where's your mate at? Dingo lookin' fucker, right? Late, full as a goog? As per usual, after he left y'sorry ass?

(THUG #1's face drops and he whines as CHERRI seems to have hit a sore spot)

THUG #1: (growls) Hey bitch, fuck off! He's sober…Most of the time…We've been…going to counseling. 

CHERRI: (mocks) Aww, see I missed the part where I gave a shit, fuckhead.

(PEN is now genuinely offended, this was low hanging fruit. Of the couple, he is the more emotionally conscious, but she's been improving.)

PENTIOUS: Tch, I say, Miss Bomb! Manners!

(A little annoyed, CHERRI stops herself and hesitantly tries to be more sympathetic.)

CHERRI: Ugh, fine!...Ahem…Sorry to hear that, bruv…You know what?...Don't suppose you lot…want a head start?...'fore we do this shit?

(The THUGS start running without hesitation, PENTIOUS turns to CHERRI with a tender smile.)

PENTIOUS: See, that was very nice, darling, you can be very kind sometimes…

CHERRI: Yeah, poor guy deserved a break, I guess…(sniffs, barely a beat)...Anyway, now?

PENTIOUS: Absolutely! I'd love nothing more, shall we gut this scoundrel?

CHERRI: Fuck yeah!…Let's…Oh no…hold on-...hh….hEHt'TSCHT'HIEW!...(sighs)

PENTIOUS: (concerned) Oh goodness! Bless you!...Are you quite alright?

CHERRI: (laughs) Uh-huh, relax, m'fine…Let's go catch these suckers…Ready?

(PEN powers up his ray gun and tests a shot out to the side, he pulls CHERRI in for a tender snog, that she lovingly returns. She giggles.)

PENTIOUS: (laughs slyly) I love when we play dirty…

CHERRI: (tender whisper) Me too.

(She lights the fuse and throws the first bomb, signalling the official start of the action, of what is a typical date night for the couple. CHERRI's musical laugh carries as they get a move on to catch up with the THUGS and the music drops as the fight begins. CHERRI jumps through the air and whoops out a yell. PEN takes aim and shoots at one of the gang from a distance, landing a hit. ) 

PENTIOUS: TAKE THAT!

CHERRI: (triumphant, proud) Nice one, babe!

(She almost loses her footing, but throws another bomb and it goes off, landing another hit and taking down two more targets. PEN blasts out several shots.)

PENTIOUS: Taste my fury, you barmy hooligan!

CHERRI: Eat shit, y'miserable cuntlickers!

(PEN laughs, but then hears his partner…coughing. He shoots and calls over his shoulder to CHERRI as they keep moving.)

PENTIOUS: I rather don't like the sound of that cough, dearest!

CHERRI: (calls back) M'fine!…It's just the smoke babe!…

(PEN'S gun jams, and signals a reload.)

PENTIOUS: (sarcastic) Right and I’m Queen Victoria-...Oh! Dearest, aim, 3 o'clock!

(CHERRI gasps and throws a bomb, but misfires, covering them in rubble, dust and smoke.)

THUG #1: (laughs to his men) Think we lost 'em.

(This is a fake out, as the couple emerges from the dust and smoke.)

CHERRI: Think again, champ. Now give us the goods. Under the order of Lucifer Fucking Morningstar.

(PEN's gun reloads.)

PENTIOUS: Honestly…You pussy willows make this far too easy.

THUG#1: Fine, Alright!...I surrender, I- huh?

(A gun cocks and loads. Seemingly CHERRI was wrong about the 'Dingo lookin' fucker'...A coyote sinner with a thick southern drawl signals his presence. THUG #1's boyfriend, THUG #2. There's a gun in his paw and he's brought a handful of more THUGS with him.)

THUG #2: Step away from my man, y'candy asses. He ain't gonna surrender if I have anything to say about it.

THUG #1: (love-struck, he whimpers) Barry! Oh Sweetie you came! And…you brought my favorite gun…Awww, you shouldn't have!

THUG #2: (sweetly) Of course, Peanut…Wouldn't miss it for the world…

(He pecks his lover's cheek with a quick 'Mwah' and gets back to the matter at hand, giving the gun to his partner who points it at the other couple.)

THUG #2: Now let's skin this bitch alive!

(CHERRI nervously laughs and grimaces.)

CHERRI: Oh great, they made up, congratulations!...Run, babe!

(CHERRI runs…leaving PEN with…everyone else.)

PENTIOUS: (panicked, then sheepish) W-Wait, darling!...I don’t suppose we could work something out, friends…

(NOPE. All of the THUGS cock their weapons. And PEN's ray gun…jams...again.)

PENTIOUS: Oh shit…

(From a distance, the gunfire and yelling echoes through the district. The thugs chase after PEN.)

🍒🐍

(Scene 2 - PENTIOUS has managed to slither away momentarily from the THUGS, but is…missing his partner. He pants to catch his breath, slithers and crawls quietly around the streets and alleys. His gun is at the ready and scanning for any danger.)

PENTIOUS : (Whispers) Cherri?...Cherri, dear, where are you?

(He hears a few poorly muffled sneezes in the nearby alleyway. And sees his partner sitting on a box in the shadows, her head in her cupped hands, her eye shut in pain. He quickly slithers over to her. She coughs and looks up, exhausted. She's coming down fast….but is in denial.)

CHERRI: Sorry Pen…Y-y'ready to get back up there?-

PENTIOUS: (softly gasps and sits next to her) No no-…Cherri-...Cherri..Perhaps, we might need to put a pin in this?...You don’t look well at all!

CHERRI: (looks up and tries to reassure, in denial) No!...No- no!...There's no time to veg out on a bullshit sickie!…We gotta get up there an'- hh..hih!-...

(She poorly muffles a loud sneeze in her elbow and it echoes in the alley.)

CHERRI: AAt'TSCHT'SCHIEW!-...(growls, frustrated, but her protests are weak) Fuck! m'really alright!

PENTIOUS: (uncharacteristically firm, not like this often)...Miss Bomb, t-that's quite enough, I insist…You must rest…at least take some momentary respite…And if I may, just… let me feel your lymph nodes.

(CHERRI exhaustedly shakes her head, sputters, and tries to bat away his hands, repeating 'No' but is preoccupied as she hitches and feels another few grating sneezes coming, these ones she barely directs into her shoulder, down at the ground.)

CHERRI: (desperate) No no nooo-…heheeh!-.. ECKH'HEW!...aat'RRTSH'SHEWww-…Oh no.

(PEN reaches a gentle claw to each side of her throat to check her glands.)

PENTIOUS: (sadly) Oh…Bless,…Yes, as I thought. Swollen.

(CHERRI swears and pulls away 'Fuck! Gkkk-', sputters and gags a little, coughing.)

CHERRI: (not listening, she coughs out-) …Uh-uh…Pen, we've gotta get back up there!

PENTIOUS: (floored) Are you mad, woman? You're ill!

CHERRI: But, t-the booze?!...They're gettin' away!

PENTIOUS: And your health is more important! The princess would agree...

CHERRI: No!...I-I can handle this…I…just- gotta-...

(She starts to rustle through her bag of explosives and her pockets for something. They CAN'T LOSE this, she hates to lose.)

PENTIOUS: (declarative) No!...No no!...I am calling a ceasefire!

(In an instant, it's clear CHERRI has found something as she starts to run down the alleyway.)

PENTIOUS: Wait! No!...Cherri? Where are you going?!

(This falls on deaf ears as CHERRI coughs, out of breath as she looks around and fiddles with explosives and runs down the alleyway, PEN calls after her. She lights a fuse and throws it up to the building above. It explodes and a scream sounds.)

CHERRI: (triumphant) Yes!

(She starts to cough uncontrollably and has to slow down, until she completely stops, heaving and wheezing.)

PENTIOUS: (frustrated, worried, a bit mom-ish, catches his breath) That's it, Missy!...I'm counting!...One!…Two!…Three…Uh, Four? Whew...Oh god…Damn it, Cherri! I'm putting my foot down!

CHERRI: (out of breath)...You don't have feet, moron…

PENTIOUS: (deadpans) …Right.

CHERRI: (hitches fitfully) Oh no-...huh!-...HUH'ECKH'HEWw! HUH'EHR'ECK'HEWw! PTSCHT'SCHeew!..heht-...HEH'pTCHEW!- Oh, fuck, that hurts…hah?...HEH'ITSCH'IEEWww!

PENTIOUS: (startled) Oh! Good heavens! Bless you! BLESS you!...BLESS, my love…(then sympathetic) Oh, my dear…

(PEN blesses and coos lovingly as CHERRI struggles through the fit. Unfortunately the loud fit signals the thugs to their hiding spot.)

THUG #1: There they are, get 'em!

(The THUGS charge forward, battle crying in a cacophony.)

PENTIOUS: HOLD IT!

(The THUGS suddenly freeze. CHERRI sneezes a loud 'HACK'IEWww!')

PENTIOUS: (matter of fact) Bless you...Party's over lads…We're going home, booze is yours.

(Bunch of disappointed ad-libs from the group of THUGS…Despite the fact that…they won. They love a good fight, it seems.)

THUG#1: I never get to use my favorite gun.

THUG #2: I know baby…

PENTIOUS: (genuinely sorry)…Sorry everyone! The lady isn't feeling well! Same time next week though? I promise to bring biscuits! (he pauses and turns)...Cherri, my love?

CHERRI: One sec…(CHERRI coughs uncontrollably.) 

PENTIOUS: (winces) Oh, let’s go home…You must feel awful. 

CHERRI: (stuffy, hesitantly admitting) Gah…Woke up, feelin’ a bit crook, is all…May've tried to-...I tried to take a line before I got here…

PENTIOUS: (suddenly very worried) …Oh, Cherri…

CHERRI: …Thought it’d get me through today…

PENTIOUS: …Cherri, I thought you were clean?-

CHERRI: (unexpectedly emotional, snaps) Well I didn’t get far now did I?...Nose is too fuckin’ bunged up to…hehhh…

(PEN is a bit wounded at the outburst, but sets it aside to support CHERRI as she launches inti a huge, harsh and desperate sneezing fit, bending the poor girl in half, holding a wall for support. PEN realizes quickly that she can't stop and is a bit speechless.)

CHERRI: …HhEH'ItSH'HEWw! Hh'khECHK'SCHEww! Hhh!- HaeH'ECKHH'SCHEW!  HAH'ETSH'HWw- hold on- HEH'ESH'Hihhh…Ihh-It won’t s-stop!- (the sneezing is getting breathless)...Ihhh…Tsc'hhiew! TSCH'Hiew!...AaPPtCH'tscheww….hhh…HAATCH'CHewww…Hhh!-....HEH'EICKh'HIEEWw!...

PENTIOUS: (a bit unable to keep up) Bless you! ...Bless you, B-Bless you! Cherri! Bless you, my love!

(As she finishes, he suddenly remembers and reaches into his suit pocket for his monogrammed handkerchief and offers.)

PENTIOUS: Here, my dear,  blow…My word! That sounds like it's hurting you, chuffing like a chimney, poor thing…

(CHERRI turns away and blows.)

CHERRI: Thanks…(sniffs, sullen) …M'so sorry, Pen…

PENTIOUS: (melts) …If anything, thank you for telling me…I just care and worry for you, and while I trust you, it’s my duty as your confidant…your boyfriend (the word is a bit foreign to him) to take care of you at your lowest. I- I simply don’t want you to suffer, I can't bear to see you so…miserable.

CHERRI: (exhausted) …Sweetheart?

PENTIOUS: (patient, sweet) Yes?

CHERRI: (quiet)…Feels like my head's gonna blow.

PENTIOUS: (sympathetically coos) I'm sure…We'll set you right, come along, let's get you to bed…

🍒🐍

(Scene 3 - We are back at the hotel, in a suite that the couple share together. CHERRI’s hair is out of her signature ponytail and sitting cross legged in bed in her pajamas with a thermometer in her mouth and a pillow held in her lap. As it beeps, PEN takes the device and reads.)

PENTIOUS: Ooh, 102! Oh dear…Well, you did say you were 'On fire' today.

CHERRI: ...ARRh'RSHHT'SHEW!

PENTIOUS: (a little startled) Bless you! My, you’ve quite a wicked sneeze, you know!

(He laughs, albeit a bit awkwardly and sees her dejected face, she puts down the pillow, pulls up the blanket and turns over.)

PENTIOUS: (he clears his throat and tests the waters)...I know today wasn’t what you hoped for…but I hope you know, I’m quite proud of you… 

CHERRI: (glum, she turns and looks up at the ceiling) What for?...The moment things got hard, I reached for what was easy. I didn’t listen to you…I fucking-... I failed…I’m sorry.

PENTIOUS: (starts) Well yes- yes, you failed…

CHERRI: (looks at him)…Gee, thanks, babe.

PENTIOUS: (a bit exasperated) Cherri- that's not what I-…(he smiles, proud, with conviction and love) You're persevering! Take it from an old man who’s faced defeat on numerous occasions to note. You’ve got determination, unlike anything I’ve seen from anyone else…You'll make short work of this nasty chill and rise again in no time to try again! I know how much you hate admitting when you're not at your best, but you are doing it. And that takes strength…Real strength, my dear…Now I think some lavender tea should help that throat of yours, I’ll put a kettle on.

CHERRI: (she smiles too, grateful, but winded) Thank you, Pen…You know, y'not bad at this sick day thing…Taking care of my sorry ass.

(His eyebrow cocks, and he saddles up beside her in their bed.)

PENTIOUS: Oho? Well what kind of partner would I be otherwise?…When she does need of me, I will always care for my…brave…

(He nuzzles and smooches her temple.)

CHERRI: …Mm!

PENTIOUS: ...Bodacious… (smooches her cheek.)

CHERRI: (giggles) S’that right?

PENTIOUS: (contemplates) Mm-hmm...Often- Bullheaded…(nuzzles and smooches her freckled shoulder.)

CHERRI: (agrees) Hm…Fair…

PENTIOUS Hm…brilliantly (smooches her neck knowing it'll tickle her) bright…(leans over and smooches right under her eye, on her nose)...beauty.

(CHERRI musical giggles grow sleepy…She hitches and lets out a tired tickly 'HEP'PSTCH'hiew!')

PENTIOUS: (he chuckles) Bless you. 

(CHERRI blows her nose in a clean handkerchief.)

CHERRI: (sniffles thickly) I do need you…Yeh?...I don't tell y'enough…but I love ya.

PENTIOUS: (lovingly agrees, insistant) And I you, dear…Now, I must insist that YOU get some rest. No explosions, no battles...not even a shouting match with the neighbors…Now, I’ll be right back!

(PENTIOUS hums and exits to put the kettle on…CHERRI sighs…and sneezes again…a loud muffled HAH'ECK'HEWww into her hanky. An Egg boi, a little shaken, it seems, approaches the bed.)

FRANK (Egg Boi): …Miss Cherri?…

CHERRI: (dazed) Yeh?

FRANK (Egg Boi): …Are you okay? 

CHERRI: (a bit awkward)…Yeh?

FRANK (Egg Boi): …Your face exploded!

(Unable to respond, she flops back on the bed, exhausted, frustrated.)

CHERRI: …UGH

È Finito, Grazie!

- ♡ Pink

With Pok/émon Day coming and going, and some of the posts y'all have made recently, it got me thinking.

Do you think in that universe, there are snz fetishists making posts like "finally caught a B/udew, wav coming soon"

why is no one talking about THIS???

I've been playing L/ove a/nd D/eepspace for a few days and...

Hello??? Sir, you don't have to be that dramatic? It's just a spicy sauce you've just dip your finger in and then licked it off?? 😳😳😳

And the way he blushed immediately🥹

Anyways I'm now in love with him, please, enjoy almost sneezing S/ylus with me😭

When you get up after spending 30 minutes wacking it to “allergy fit #42″

天使和被囚禁的使者

this is exactly how i discovered the title of my life - ai no kusabi

just wanted to watch some silly bl because i was 15 but ended up crying screaming etc. it's been 15 years and i still think ank is awesome

sometimes i get so invested in a snzfic i forget it's fetish fiction, and the most devestating, earth-shattering, tear-inducing, depressing scene can occur and my eyes are tearing up slightly because of the sheer angst of the situation, just to be hit with:

"W-wait... sorry, i'm... hih! I'm gonna snhh... ehhhh... [insert big long sneezing fit here]"

and it just kinda jolts me back to reality. and then when i think about it more, i'm like wow i can't believe people are jacking off while reading this TRAGEDY of a story. that's crazy. can't believe i wanted to tickle my pickle and now i'm reading about some oc's poor dead family or something

i genuinely believe majority of snzfics could be bestsellers if they reduced their word count by 20%

新年快乐 happy Chinese new year

YAY :Dc ok so maybe- A/ether thinking he can't be allergic to anything but he starts having a reaction to something only to deny it could be an allergy, and N/ari with all his knowledge proves him wrong- perhaps falling victim to the same thing as well-?

We added our own little twist to it. I hope you don't mind. Many thanks to @hachiibun for added the bloom explosion effect. But I do hope you enjoy your very belated scenario. -Trev

Bad joke. I can only apologise. Blame @nastasiasnz

What do snzfucker's say when they recognise each other?'

'HAH! ITS'UU!'

let the snzfics commence!

HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN as ANAKIN SKYWALKER — Ahsoka: Shadow Warrior (Behind The Scenes)

♪ Dazai and Fedor in prison ♪

*They definitely couldn't have avoided sneezing, I mean they were sitting across from each other for a long time and sneezing in front of each other was inevitable, I plan to write two parts, one with Dazai and one with Fedor, this is the first part, in this part I'll describe Fedor's sneezing.

Notes: he mentioned that he's in poor health, and sitting without fresh air in a rather cramped room has obviously crippled his already weak immune system, sorry for the long introduction, let's get started:3

♤

♤

♤

♡

♤

That night Fedor didn't sleep well, he felt dizzy and weak, his not sound sleep was awakened by the breakfast notification, and Dazai's ringing voice saying

<Ahhhhh~~~I don't want to get up yet.... this bed is beckoning me~ i want to sleep for 5 more minutes, plus there are no crabs, so there's even less motivation to get up for breakfast^^^^ >

His ringing voice made Fedor feel more dizzy and had a slight headache, but he found the strength to reply:

<Dazai-kun, did you know that he who rises early to God falls? (This is a russian proverb ) Apparently you don't appreciate god if you don't even try to get out of bed, you'll be out of favor unlike me. >

- Ahh.... we've already been through this Fedor-kun :<

* Dazai wrapped himself even tighter in the blanket *

- You're so lazy, and laziness is a sin.

replied Fedor.

- Who's talking about sins, Fedor-kun?

Dazai peeked out from under the blanket and gave Fedor his smile.

- Those who have done evil expect evil from others, don't you Dazai san? Kgk-kgk-kgk

*♪ Dostoevsky coughed

- Exactly🎶

Dazai said methodically

*Dazai started to eat*

- Hmmm…I'll eat it later

Said Fyodor and put his plate on the table since he had no appetite and took out a book.

*♪ Dostovesky sat reading a book and then he got a sniffle in his nose ♪

- Ha-chih.

- М? *♪ Dazai looked at him questioningly ♪

Fedor ignored his question and continued reading the book, but his nose started to twitch

- Ah...heh...ha.

He sat with his mouth open and couldn't sneeze, but the itching got worse but didn't turn into sneezing.

-Hahhhh... heh... heh... heh...

Fedor even had to stop reading and started staring at one point with a blank stare, Dazai noticed and started looking at him.

- what's going on with you? Asked Dazai

- Nothing... Ahh ... go...hehe...hehe...htz ..AHHH.

That was a false sneeze.

- Ahem...God bless you?

-Heheheh...Ah...HA-CHHHEE.

Dostoevsky sneezed very loudly without expecting it, his body treudos forward from the impulse his book fell out, Dostoevsky lost his finger under his nose and said.

- Thank you, but I'm already blessed by God.

- ♪ More like a demon ♪

* said Dazai with a smile *

Fyodor walked to pick up the book, but he was overtaken by another sneeze

- Ha...heh...ah...achhi...achhi..! Damn it.

- What ungodly words you use.

But Fedor couldn't answer because he had a seizure.

- Achhee...hee...ha...haa- Chirk...Hachik

- Apparently even demons get sick~

* said Osamu with a cheerful tone, but Fedor ignored him *

Important: Sorry, English is not my native language, I’m writing through a translator, this is my first FF, I hope it’s not that bad (I also wanted to mention that I’m from a Russian-speaking country (To be precise, I’m from Ukraine, many here speak Russian) and knowing this and the fact that Fedor is most likely Russian, I I wrote what his sneezing might sound like in Russian, I hope I was able to convey this, if you want to hear how sneezing basically sounds in Russian, then type into the translator which has a pronunciation function, <Апчхи> or <Апчи> this is how sneezing sounds and is written in Russian, This is what I tried to write in English letters

thank you very much if you read this ff, I really tried, I hope it’s not too cringe, I will improve myself~~~

💕💕💕💕💕💕

W/riothesley is a photic sneezer send tweet

sneeze kink is the cottage core of kinks