The Fact That They Didn’t Get To Hang Out…honestly Criminal

Day 4 - Genderbend

on one his many fights w craig tweek goes not only am i breaking up with you right now i also went through your letterboxd and laughed at your reviews 

South park fans when Tweek Tweak (a character from the show South Park) shows up in an episode of South park:

i’m sick of post canon stories about characters getting married and having kids and finding peace when they should actually be getting divorced and abusing alcohol and being suicidal NO MORE HEALING NO MORE RECOVERY YOU ALL NEED TO GET WORSE!!!!!!

whatever man.

when stan is in an uber he acts like he’s in a psychological saw trap. he scrolls back and forth on his home screen acting like he’s busy, texting kenny random keysmashes to pretend he’s having a real human conversation. he’s squirming in his chair and bopping his head to the music and the driver asks if he likes the song and stan says it’s his favorite even though he’s never heard the song in his life. the driver asks how he’s doing and stan goes “living the dream, boss!” despite never having said this string of words all at once in his life but he panicked.

kenny, on the other hand, is the person who hops in the passenger seat of the uber. he asks for aux and fiddles with the ac like it’s nothing. he places his hand on the uber driver’s thigh and stares at him. sometimes the uber driver places his hand nervously over kenny’s. they ride quietly and tenderly until kenny reaches the abortion clinic that he’s meeting a hookup from a couple weeks ago at and kenny gets out of the car, but not before placing his hand on the driver’s cheek and whispering: “maybe in another life, anthony:” they both give each other 5 stars.

a thief, a barbarian and a winter king

Craig and those guys. + and his guy

hi

Enter CRAIG

CRAIG: Ho, Tweek! Come hither. Hark, our courtship wilt end.

TWEEK: What? wherefore not?

Enter STAN, KYLE, KENNY, DAVID, and BUTTERS

CRAIG: I prithee, Tweek, I am full of sorrow, yet we can no longer deceive ourselves. [turns to visage the gathering crowd] Aye, we are of the same inclination, but we are not meant to be as one.

TWEEK: Thee disavow our bond? What suddenly hath changed, craig?

CRAIG: ‘Tis just yond people art inevitably different. Nothing more.

TWEEK: Aye, and who in heaven's name is Michael? Pray, dost thou wish to enlighten me on this matter?

CRAIG: What? what doth thee speaketh of?

TWEEK: I did peruse thy missives when we ventured forth yesternight, Craig! I beheld what thou didst utter to this strumpet regarding thy intent to consort with him!

CRAIG: Stay, prithee, that is not what transpired.

TWEEK: I pray thee confess otherwise

CRAIG: Nay. Mark thee, we both dost know this is for the better.

TWEEK: Thou dost presume to subject me to thy feeble terrors! Thou dost impose thy will upon me to dissuade thine own guilt!

CRAIG: Stay, do not portray me as the knave.

TWEEK: [Begins to cry] Fie, thou art not the villain. Thou think'st thyself too virtuous to be some loathsome knave. For, 'tis from thy heavenly throne that thou canst better behold the folk thou usest as puppets.

CRAIG: [whispers] I do fear thou hast ventured far enough. Cease, for this pretense is superfluous.

TWEEK: Zounds! Dost thou think I have gone too far? Hast thou lost thy wits?

CRAIG: This condemnation was not a part of our design!

TWEEK: Marry Prithee, Craig! Our love was not wrought to adhere to a design!

BUTTERS: Aye!

TWEEK: [tears fill his eyes] I have been most grievously deceived by thee. I lay bare mine heart before thee. I lay bare mine affection unto thee. I embrace thee as mine lord. But, alas, I fall upon the sword. Thy sword.

Exuent Tweek