Chapter 7 Of The Great Wish Movie Rewrite Up On AO3!

Chapter 7 of The Great Wish Movie Rewrite up on AO3!

It's up! Guys, I'm excited, Star Boy comes on the scene today. Read the story here: Link

Excerpt: Chapter Seven: The Duel

The Hamlet, a mossy place secluded by forest, where inhabitants made bread from pinecone flour, and kept more chickens than charts or charms, came into view. The moon cast it in sharp-edged shadows as Magnifico readied his staff, murmuring last incantations over it. Before leaving the castle, he’d imbued it with extra power from the night sky, using a spell from his only remaining book, the one he’d been reluctant to use because of its relation to dark sorcery. 

“Desperate times call for desperate measures,” he told himself, though he’d immediately locked the book away again after referencing this spell. He thought mournfully of the rest of his destroyed resources, original manuscripts he’d compiled, containing centuries of study by other sorcerers. “Now I have no idea what a star might be capable of.” He caressed his staff’s fine point that could stab if needed. “The hour has come.”

The carriage silently rolled to a stop behind a towering oak thick as a dragon’s tail, just on the hollow’s edge. Magnifico looked to the driver and raised a finger to his lips, then motioned for him to drive away unseen, as he stepped out into the Hamlet, and the crunch of leaves, which set a carpet of gold beneath his boots, was concealed by ceaseless clucking as chickens talked in their sleep inside their roosts. 

The hollow’s modest shielings, stone houses shaped like mushroom-caps, unadorned except by moss or the occasional clothes-line, stood huddled close together, intertwined with roots of trees for protection. The humble hollow did not look like the kind of place to hide a criminal. The king held his staff before him to light the way as he crept between the shieling huts and oaks tall as mountains. As he stepped over a root as thick as one of the castle's pillars, his foot landed on a pinecone, and he clasped a hand over his mouth when he nearly screamed. Just as he approached the centre of the cluster of homes, the staff began humming faintly, its sound growing in intensity. 

As the king crept, the staff’s hum shifted in pitch, resonating with a particularly small shieling hut which he paused in front of. He noted a faint glow seeping through its rough, timbre framed windows, and the murmur of voices within. Even muffled by stone walls, self-satisfied pauses emanated, it was the girl showing off, he knew that. Without hesitation, Magnifico raised his staff, then forced the door open with a bang.

The conversation stopped abruptly as Asha’s gaze met his, the recognition in her eyes confirming what the staff already indicated. Its sharp end was pointed up at the star hovering inches below the aisins.

“What folly is this?”

“It isn’t folly at all! It’s simply glorious!” The star did a somersault in the air.

He was a flicker of ghostfire in the form of a young man. Clad in changing hues of white, topaz, and misty red, his clothes echoed the night sky. His bright eyes held glints of mischief, and moving with grace, his cape trailed sparks behind him as he flew in and out the aisins, twisted a picture frame, peeked into a drawer, then sent a stack of books tumbling from a shelf, as if dropping stones from the sky. The playful spirit who’d come down from the heavens laughed, each note twinkling like a warning sign.

The star continued doing flips in the air as he addressed the king. “You see, mighty king, with a crown shining bright, the stars in the heavens dance all through the night. They laugh at your trials, they chuckle with glee, as they dance in the moonlight, wild and free. They meddle for fun, oh, but fret not dear king, for your country will fall, but it’s a burdensome thing.”

Asha laughed, and though she had a hand over her mouth, she looked impressed. “Star Boy,” she said.

Magnifico’s eyes blazed as he raised his staff, and he unleashed a striking green beam that cut through the air. Star Boy, now idly twirling a ribbon of stardust around his finger, tried to dodge, but was struck directly in the heart, and like a mosquito swatted, fell to the ground with an expression of stunned surprise, his stardust trail dim and scattered. 

From the floor he looked up at Magnifico, shaking off the remnants of the spell’s green glow. “All right, you’ve got me, you’ve proven your might, I underestimated you, and I’ve lost the fight.” He grinned, then added, “But watch your step king, as you tread. Anger the stars and you’ll find yourself dead.”

Magnifico’s staff crackled again, and he struck at Star Boy with a wave of green fire. The house’s beams groaned under the strain of magic, and shards of stone rained down.

Star Boy darted around, a streak of incomprehensible light, and he paused only to withdraw something from his pocket, a slim, pale stick he tossed down to Asha. “Take this wand, a gift from the heavens. You’re a fairy godmother now, my dear.”

“Aeeeeegh!” Asha let out an excited screech as she caught it. 

The wand was swiftly knocked from her hand by a wave of Magnifico’s staff. “You are both banished from the realm for threatening my kingdom.” He raised it again, when Star Boy, hovering just out of reach, laughed as he conjured a torrent of fire, and flames lashed out from his palms, catching Magnifico’s cloak in a dance of light and heat. 

Asha scurried forward to her wand, and brandished it as he stomped on the flames. With a quick flick, she sent a stream of light to blind the king. The spell struck his eyes in a burst of bright sparks, so he staggered back. He growled as he struggled to regain control. 

Finish reading: Link

THANKS FOR 50 KUDOS!!!!!!!!!!!

Because the original had a lot of plot holes and wasn't satisfying.

What to expect:

1. Actually tells the Once-ler's whole story from beginning to end (no Ted)

2. Gives Once-ler more agency and develops his motives beyond "my family made me do it."

3. Includes "You're all going to jail!" scene

4. Animals die/the stakes are raised

5. Logical explanations for why they couldn't just plant more trees or use a ladder, why Once-ler didn't just plant the seed himself, etc.

6. The Lorax is actually significant

7. Characters like Once-ler's dad, Norma, and O'Hare are woven in, but don't steal the spotlight. (Example: Norma isn't an annoying girlfriend who steals the role of the Lorax).

8. NO ANNOYING OCS, MARY SUES, OR STUPID ROMANCES!!!!!!!!!! Just a straightforward, comprehensive narrative of what the movie should've been like.

This entire novel is complete and has been through multiple drafts. If you follow it, you can be sure that it does have an ending and the author knows where it's going with foreshadowing and extra plot twists. Chapters will be released each week.

Chapter 6 is up!!!

Once-ler tries to sell his product in town and meets the Lorax. Excerpt below (read full chapter on Ao3):

It was sticking out from a stump, covered in mossy brown fur. It was the size of a cat, but with the round bean-form of an animal Once-ler had never seen. Its most significant feature was the yellow mustache on its face that was so thick Once-ler had the urge to pick the creature up and turn him upside down to sweep a floor. It positively radiated power and adorableness both at the same time. It pulled itself up and looked him in the eye.

The foot of the creature tapped expectantly.

Once-ler straightened his grey business vest and hat. "Can I help you… sir?" he asked.

"I'm sorry, if I gave you a surprise." The creature didn't sound sorry at all. "But I think you earned the shock in your eyes. You're up to mischief, best confess. Your secret plot, your sneaky mess."

"What am I doing wrong? You mean trying to make a living? Why is everyone here so against that?" Once Once-ler started ranting, he found he couldn't stop. “At least I actually have some ingenuity. Why is that a bad thing? My family was like that too. Don't we need inventions and new ideas to keep the world going? How are people supposed to support themselves, huh? Just by working for the O'Hares, and that's it?"

"You have a point, it's true, I see. Your words hold weight, are error free. But mind your manners, and do beware, lest your sharp wit makes you an O'Hare."

Once-ler flushed. "Well, maybe you should all stop assuming that every stranger who tries something new around here is exactly like an O'Hare." He tipped his hat stiffly, and turned away.

"Hey, you're alright, don't you fret. A nice, amusing chap, I won't forget. Ambition burns, inspiring, bright, but heed my words, and do what's right. Two paths I see, a heavy choice. One leads to glory, a tempting voice. The other path is a conscience clear, but it all depends which way you steer."

"Amusing, huh? Well, I think you're annoying," Once-ler grumbled, and grabbed Melvin's leash.

The creature kept up with Once-ler's long legs at a surprisingly quick pace as it stroked its mustache. "The Lorax am I, my voice is always near. I've been watching this place, year after year. The trees and beasts, they're my sacred domain. The forest's my charge, and I'll watch over it again." It darted in front of him and stuck out its spindly hand.

Once-ler stared at the long curling fingers before hesitantly giving them a shake. "Once-ler."

"Once-ler, that's a name so odd. What could it mean, I'd love to prod. Is it a title, a moniker grand? Or a label that I can understand?"

"It means I never make a mistake more than once," said Once-ler. "Because my Ma said she wishes she hadn't.”

"And what was the woman's misstep I wonder, that gave her son such a name to ponder?"

(Full novelization on Ao3. We're going to make a bunch of high quality rewrites of movies that had too many plot holes).

Remember to check this out, and let us know what other movies we should fix!

Because the original had a lot of plot holes and wasn't satisfying.

What to expect:

1. Actually tells the Once-ler's whole story from beginning to end (no Ted)

2. Gives Once-ler more agency and develops his motives beyond "my family made me do it."

3. Includes "You're all going to jail!" scene

4. Animals die/the stakes are raised

5. Logical explanations for why they couldn't just plant more trees or use a ladder, why Once-ler didn't just plant the seed himself, etc.

6. The Lorax is actually significant

7. Characters like Once-ler's dad, Norma, and O'Hare are woven in, but don't steal the spotlight. (Example: Norma isn't an annoying girlfriend who steals the role of the Lorax).

8. NO ANNOYING OCS, MARY SUES, OR STUPID ROMANCES!!!!!!!!!! Just a straightforward, comprehensive narrative of what the movie should've been like.

This entire novel is complete and has been through multiple drafts. If you follow it, you can be sure that it does have an ending and the author knows where it's going with foreshadowing and extra plot twists. Chapters will be released each week.

Chapter 11 is up!

IF YOU HAVEN'T STARTED READING NOW, IT'S JUST GETTING TO THE FUN PART!

Excerpt:

As the meetings became more frequent, the character he had invented started to take on a life of its own. It was no longer just a way to get through the day. He would slip into his green suit, the color of money, and with it, would transform into someone else entirely. His voice would change—louder, more charismatic, filled with a confidence that didn’t quite belong to him. His handshake would be firmer, his smile broader, his laugh just a bit too loud.

Brett, Chet, and Gizette, who had seen the transformation firsthand, started calling him “Greed-ler” behind his back. They found the whole thing hilarious, completely different from the brother they knew. Gizette doodled pictures of Greed-ler on scraps of paper, turning him into a cartoon character with exaggerated features and dollar signs in each eye.

It wasn’t long before Greed-ler became more than just a private joke. The image of the green-suited CEO with a maniacal grin spread throughout the company, and soon, it wasn’t just his siblings drawing cartoons of him. Employees began to share these drawings, and Greed-ler started popping up in more official places—on company newsletters, posters, even merchandise. What began as a role to get through the day turned into the official mascot of Thneeds Inc.

READ THE FULL CHAPTER ON AO3!

This chapter is a little longer because I want to take my time showing how Once-ler's personality devolves. I've also never seen any writing about what an average day at the company would be like. As I go through the whole movie, I want to thoroughly explore every last thing like this for once. There really is more than a novel's worth of potential in this story, if it's given its due.

Also, instead of always making Once-ler doubtful about his family's selfishness, I wanted it to be clear he was joining in with them and being an equally terrible or worse person. This is key to making the story work and have a more powerful lesson.

Well, no surprise with the result. I kind of wanted it to be biased though, to prove a point, since a lot of people outside sites like this don't understand.

Necessity of Creativity

Hey, to everyone who followed for the Great Wish Rewrite! Did you know we also rewrote the whole Lorax movie and the completed fic is on Ao3? It fixes the plot holes, gets rid of Ted's interruptions, and actually makes the Lorax significant! You can check it out here!

The Lorax Novelization

Do you ever kinda wish something would exist, so you just decide to make it yourself?

Read here. I release new chapters every week.

Chapter 11 is up!

IF YOU HAVEN'T STARTED READING NOW, IT'S JUST GETTING TO THE FUN PART!

Excerpt:

As the meetings became more frequent, the character he had invented started to take on a life of its own. It was no longer just a way to get through the day. He would slip into his green suit, the color of money, and with it, would transform into someone else entirely. His voice would change—louder, more charismatic, filled with a confidence that didn’t quite belong to him. His handshake would be firmer, his smile broader, his laugh just a bit too loud.

Brett, Chet, and Gizette, who had seen the transformation firsthand, started calling him “Greed-ler” behind his back. They found the whole thing hilarious, completely different from the brother they knew. Gizette doodled pictures of Greed-ler on scraps of paper, turning him into a cartoon character with exaggerated features and dollar signs in each eye.

It wasn’t long before Greed-ler became more than just a private joke. The image of the green-suited CEO with a maniacal grin spread throughout the company, and soon, it wasn’t just his siblings drawing cartoons of him. Employees began to share these drawings, and Greed-ler started popping up in more official places—on company newsletters, posters, even merchandise. What began as a role to get through the day turned into the official mascot of Thneeds Inc.

READ THE FULL CHAPTER ON AO3!

This chapter is a little longer because I want to take my time showing how Once-ler's personality devolves. I've also never seen any writing about what an average day at the company would be like. As I go through the whole movie, I want to thoroughly explore every last thing like this for once. There really is more than a novel's worth of potential in this story, if it's given its due.

Also, instead of always making Once-ler doubtful about his family's selfishness, I wanted it to be clear he was joining in with them and being an equally terrible or worse person. This is key to making the story work and have a more powerful lesson.

The Lorax Novelization

Do you ever kinda wish something would exist, so you just decide to make it yourself?

Read here. I release new chapters every week.

Chapter 14 is up!

Super late post today, but here it is! THIS PART IS THE MOST SAD. The movie didn't make enough consequences for his actions.

Excerpt:

"How've you been, sir? Are you doing well, Mr. Once-ler?" a forlorn voice asked.

Once-ler spun around. "You?!”

The Lorax didn't say anything for a while. The sound of rain over the balcony grew heavier as the storm rumbled behind him.

"Just came to look at the view. You've accomplished a lot, haven’t you?"

Once-ler backed away at the sound of thunder as the Lorax entered the office. The mossy old creature hopped onto his desk to stare at the model city. His torso was matted and streaked with grease. Wiry hairs stuck out from his mustache and eyebrows like bent broom bristles. The fur that had once had an attractive orange sheen was all brown now, caked with dirt, and had a damp, washed-out look. The Lorax might have been a chewed up jelly bean that had been spat back out.

"The Virtue of Selfishness," the Lorax read the title of one of Once-ler's books, stroking his mustache. "Lessons we could all learn from, I'd guess."

"You know what? I don't want to hear from you right now!" Once-ler yelled. "All you do is say everything is bad, and I'm really sick of it." He seized the Lorax and hoisted him under his arm, ignoring the creature's protests.

"It's not just the trees I'm trying to save,” the Lorax’s voice cracked, “but you, from digging your own grave."

Once again, the door wouldn't open when Once-ler tried it, and the alarm wouldn't go off when he pulled it. But he wasn’t going to  be defeated. He carried the Lorax to the balcony and held him at arm's length. The Lorax hovered over dark hills that had been uniformly sheared—bristly white stumps where once had been trees dotted the shaved hills of dead grass. Advanced axe-hackers rolled by like monsters, searching for more wood that they couldn't find, before wheeling away to look deeper into the mist.

"Are you going to kill me?" asked the Lorax.

"I know you're causing the storms," growled Once-ler, shaking him. "The thunder that never stops, the lightning that strikes my tower.  And all the clouds that have that same purple hue as when…" He trailed off, remembering the first tree he'd cut down, when he'd first seen the Lorax come out of the sky. 

If it wasn't for that day, he'd have believed the Lorax was no more than a funny animal like the Barbaloots or humming-fish, with a higher cognitive level and more annoying voice box. But it had been the sight of him that day, coming out of the sky with a terrible look in his eyes, that, as much as he tried to forget, made Once-ler secretly terrified he really was a deity. 

His hands trembled as the Lorax's beetle black eyes bored into his, suddenly looking very old and very powerful. Once-ler wondered if it was even possible for the Lorax to die. “Whatever you're doing, I want you to stop it. Right now," he growled, not recognizing his own voice. With each word, he leaned closer over the edge of the balcony.

"Why?" asked the Lorax. "You don’t seem to care how your own actions are fouling the air."

"Yer rusting up my factory. We got work to do. I’m the one in the legal right here. So make it stop." His face was close enough to feel the Lorax’s mustache.

The Lorax chuckled at this, legs dangling over the parapet. "Laws and codes, written by man. What have they to do with nature's plan? What have they to do with morals or your soul? Are laws the things that define all your goals?" His long, spindly hand slowly reached out and grabbed his tie.

Before Once-ler knew it, they were both falling. Through wind and rain they plummeted as the storm thickened. Soon a churning mist concealed everything around them as they tumbled through a funnel of purple clouds, a passage that went on much longer than Once-ler knew it should have. 

As they spun round and round, reality evaporated. It was as if Once-ler was melting into the Lorax and the Lorax was melting into him, until nothing but a haze of orange and green remained. Then they unconnected, plunging their separate ways.

Once-ler's spine cracked against a pipe, and he bounced onto the black, dry riverbed where water no longer ran. His head spun; reality had not gone quite back to normal. Somehow they had survived the fall as if it had been merely from a playground, rather than half a mile from the tallest building in the city. His back, however, would never be quite the same. Sharp pains when he attempted to straighten himself told him it had been fractured.

The Lorax was standing on a rock, eyes aglow, fixed on his enemy. An army was growing around him of bloodied, skeletal birds missing patches of feathers, a few crinkled fish that had been too weak to leave, and the ghostly Barbaloots that hadn't died yet.

Once-ler choked, and limped behind a rock. "I don't want any trouble," he pleaded. 

The Lorax gave a slight nod to the army behind him, and they marched somberly back into the gray expanse. As they trailed away, single file, Once-ler knew in his heart they were marching to their deaths. At the end of the line he spotted an animal he hadn't thought of in a long time. His old friend, Melvin.

"Hey…!" He crawled up to the trembling old animal that fell to the ground. Melvin put his head in Once-ler's lap. His coat was thin and sooty, breaths slow and tired. The eyes that met his master's were filled with sadness that slowly dimmed into an empty stare as his head slumped to the ground.

READ THE FULL CHAPTER ON AO3~!