HH Rewrite Poll #02

CRK Crack Comics #02

I bring you another set of CRK Crack Comics because I (for some reason) was given free will. ____________

I know it's a natural side effect of everything good about the pilot definitely not being written by Viv, and series!Charlie being a supposedly "nice" character being written by a notably not nice person, but I really never got the sense that Series!Charlie gave a damn about the common sinner if they couldn't contribute toward helping her white savior-ass "fix" the demons.

The only time she actually cared about somebody's past was when HER girlfriend used to be an angel, and never told her despite that being a secret that could get her killed if she told the wrong people. She doesn't care about how many people Angel's probably given cement shoes, she got him to quit doing drugs so it's all fine.

Her ideas don't go any deeper than making the demons (who are all perfectly content to live in hell, they just don't like being murdered every year) act vaguely palatable in a Christian manner, there's no focusing on the inherent immorality of eternal punishment, no considerations of a purgatory or reincarnation, or making hell just fucking bigger which they can definitely do, holy shit, just do that, by all means, she acts like a sheltered, apathetic child inserting herself into everyone's lives until its made evident the heaven system is BROKE broke and sacrifices like Sir Pentious' are meaningless when nobody knows the criteria for getting into heaven.

Like the key difference is, if Pilot Charlie caught Alastor blatantly eating one of the inhabitants of the hotel, that would probably the last time anyone sees him alive, but if Series Charlie saw that happening, at worst she'd be kinda annoyed at the bad press. And that's not a bad concept for a character, but it's clearly not the one they were trying to go for, and constantly portraying her as all pure while ignoring her short-sighted and selfish tendencies makes them stick out way more and become hard to root for.

All of this. Pilot Charlie didn't have a spotless track record when it came to knowing what her subjects needed (read, throwing out an addict's pills) but she at least had a more selfless and more adult understanding of it than series Charlie. She paid Angel for his time the first time they met, said the right things, and didn't force everyone to sit around roleplaying Sunday School scenarios and playing clap games.

One Hell of an Unpopular Opinion #06

There's no point in the Hellaverse having eleven confirmed Overlords when only seven (really six) of them are going to be prominent in Hazbin Hotel's narrative.

________

The more I think about the Overlords, the more confused I become. We only know six out of the confirmed eleven Overlords do while we know next to nothing about the others. - Alastor is a radio host. - Carmilla is Hell's top arms dealer. - Rosie is a matchmaker. - Valentino runs most of the porn industry in the Pride Ring. - Vox controls the majority of social media. - Velvette is a fashionista who capitalizes on fast fashion.

The only other Overlord we have any kind of relevant information about is Zestial, a character who I don't think should've been introduced to the audience THIS early on within the series. All we really know about Zestial is that he's the oldest and longest reigning Overlord in all of Hell as he died sometime in the 16th century. Sure, there's also his friendship with Carmilla but that doesn't really tell us anything about who he is or what he does. Other than Zestial, there are four other Overlords we either know very little about or we know nothing about. These four Overlords are Fredrick & Bethesda Von Elderitch who are supposedly friends with Lucifer & Lilith, Zeezi who had all of one line in the entire show, and then there's that burning skull Overlord that none of us know the name of.

The Vees are going to be our primary antagonists in Season #02 of Hazbin Hotel and while I really think that's a terrible idea, I know that two of them are relevant to two other characters of our main cast. We all know that Vox is Alastor's foil and Valentino is the bane of Angel Dust's existence. I have no idea what the hell they'll have Velvette do although I hope she'll at least get some good moments in this season as the writers at Spindlehorse are, more than likely, going to heavily sideline her character yet again.

In any case, Rosie is Alastor's bestie so she's bound to come back and I'm confident that we'll eventually see Carmilla and Zestial return as well. As to when the other Overlords will ever be relevant... Who knows? But also will we really care when and if they do matter later on??? ________ This opinion is much shorter than my HB opinion from yesterday but that's just how it is sometimes. I hope you had fun reading my thoughts and I'll see you later!

One Hell of an Unpopular Opinion #08

Two out of the three Hispanic characters in Hazbin Hotel are deeply rooted damaging stereotypes within Spanish & Latin American cultures and the one that isn't a blatant stereotype is misused. ___________

With Spanish Heritage Month right around the corner and being a Latina myself, I think it's more than fair for me to give my thoughts on the Latinos (in Spanish, it doesn't matter if there's only one guy in a primarily female group, you have to put Latinos) in HH. Let's start off with the least offensive out of the group, Carmilla Carmine.

We're introduced to her in Scrambled Eggs which is Episode #03 of HH. She invited each of the Overlords to a meeting to speak about how brutal this year's Extermination was and what they could do going forward. During said meeting, Velvette throws the head of a decapitated Exorcist on the table for her to try and take control of the conversation. Things before and during the song Respectless (why this song wasn't called Disrespect or Diss-respect is something I'll never understand) escalate as Velvette figures out that Carmilla is the one behind the dead Exorcist based on her body language and when she asks, "You know why this angel's headless? Do you have a disclosure?" Carmilla immediately ends the meeting thereafter, confirming her suspicions were correct. People have already criticized the mystery of the dead Exorcist being solved way too soon, though I haven't seen as many people criticize why the other Overlords didn't look or immediately question Carmilla the SECOND that Exorcist's head rolled on the table? Like, you guys know that she's Hell's top ANGELIC arms dealer, why wouldn't any of you suspect her from the start? Even if she had ended up being a red herring, I would've seen it as the Overlords using the process of elimination and common sense cause why wouldn't the ANGELIC arms dealer kill an Exorcist??? In any case, the reason behind Carmilla killing the Exorcist was to protect her daughters and thus someone we should sympathize with. Except that, we don't know anything about her daughters and we still don't know her. So why should I care? I have no attachment and therefore no proper reason to care for a character I JUST met. And don't get me started on her daughters as they're nothing more than minor plot devices who could've been replaced by Vaggie. Speaking of which...

Vaggie is based on two harmful Latina tropes and one harmful LGBTQ+ trope with these being the "Feisty" Latina, the Crazed Latina, and the Man Hating Lesbian. Whenever the "feisty" Latina is done in media, she's almost never actually feisty but rather plain bitchy. The word feisty is used because the show runners tend to want the audience to like this character as, to them, she's (somehow), "a woman who knows what she wants and how to take charge." We see this several times when Vaggie isn't interacting with Charlie though I would say the times that this backfired the most was in Episode #01 and Episode #04. Back in Episode #01 when Vaggie was working on the hotel's commercial she wants Alastor to help out with it. Mind you, she previously slandered the advertisement he had originally made for the hotel so I don't know why she wants his help with making a new one in the first place but nonetheless Alastor basically says, "Yeah. No. I'm not gonna help you cause you already know I hate modern media and you clearly didn't like what I had planned so figure it out." Now, instead of ending the conversation and leaving the man who wants no part in this alone, she holds up the camera that she has in her hands and not only films him but actively mocks him too. This isn't a "bold move" like I've seen people claim it to be, it was simply moronic since she already knew he was an Overlord that's killed and fought people over MINOR INCONVENIENCES. After this the two strike a deal which is another plain stupid move on Vaggie's part as that's only going to come back and bite her in the ass later on in the series. Meanwhile, in Episode #04, she told Husk to go after Angel Dust even though... A.) Going after the residents isn't in his job description. B.) If ANYONE is going after the residents it should probably be THE MANAGER since it's their job to make sure that everything between the staff AND customers is good. C.) She KNOWS that Husk has been sexually and physically harassed by Angel in the past as not only has she SEEN it but she's TOLD Angel to stop harassing the staff. I guess the safety of your co-workers doesn't matter though if Charlie's sad. D.) Lastly, I swear that there was a rule that was established early on about NOT FORCING RESIDENTS TO STAY AT THE HOTEL. Like, am I tripping or did the series retcon that super fast??? Anyway, the point is that the series has Vaggie acting like a snide bitch when she's interacting with anyone other than Charlie. This "feisty" Latina stereotype goes hand in hand with the crazed Latina. The crazed Latina trope is when a Latina will throw hands for the dumbest of reasons or for little to no reason at all. It makes it seem that Latina's are overly aggressive which is how the series portrays Vaggie. She's always seen wielding an angelic spear 24/7 knowing that she can kill any resident or staff member who steps out of line with her, constantly seen threatening to hurt others with it. Out of the two racial stereotypes this one has been called out the most as it's paired with the man hating Lesbian trope because every time Vaggie's threatened to kill someone with said angelic spear, it has ALWAYS been a MALE character. Okay, now it's time to end this off by addressing the elephant in the room that is Valentino.

Oh, God. Where do I start with this failure of a character? I suppose, I'll start with the Casanova aka the Enticing Latin Lover archetype. This involves a strong suave man who's tall, dark (or I guess light purple in Val's case), and handsome (I wouldn't call him that but that's how he's portrayed in the series) as well as being full of ulterior motives! He's the sultry hypersexual Hispanic seducer that everybody can't seem to get enough of. I wouldn't have nearly as much of an issue with this as he's the Overlord of Lust but with how the stans either absolve him of or make LIGHT of his crimes solely because they think how he looks, sounds, and acts is hot (brother eugh), with the show runners encouraging stuff like that on social media (yes, I'm referring to when people were comparing Val's personality to Karen Smith from Mean Girls with Viv agreeing with it cause he's so dumb), his sole purpose is being a plot device for Angel Dust and being fetish fuel. Which really bothers me considering that a good chunk of Hazbin Hotel stans are LITERAL CHILDREN! Continuing on, we have ill tempered and idiotic Machismo/Macho Man. The show can't seem to make up its mind whether or not they want us to take Valentino seriously or not. I get what they're trying to do by making Val intimidating and cunning at one point and a "charming" himbo the next but it's done in such a jarring way that could've been easily fixed had they shown him being more creepy towards lower class demons and Sinners but have him be "charming" towards Overlords and other members of Hell's high society. Like in the show, he's openly verbally violent towards Angel Dust while Charlie is in his presence (I also hate the fact that show Charlie didn't actually do anything when she noticed that Val had hit Angel cause pilot Charlie would've thrown hands regardless of what Angel told her) and doesn't give a flying fuck when she's turning into her demon form RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM! Then there's the fact that the Hellaverse doesn't take violence seriously until it HAS to and then these moments can come across as unintentionally comedic. Case and point, when I initially saw Valentino backhand Angel Dust in Episode #04, I AUDIBLY LAUGHED. That shit SHOULD NOT have been nearly as funny as it was! It was meant to be a serious moment where the show segues into how Angel is abused at his job but there I was laughing my ass off in my room for a solid thirty seconds before I was able to regain my composure. Next up is point three about the Cholo or gangster archetype in which a Latino will wear stylish street wear clothes (similar to the outfit Val wears in Episode #04) and commit violent crimes. My previous points indirectly had me go into depth about the violent crimes part so let's move onto point four which is Val being a drug addict and drug maker. Latin characters (specifically men) have been depicted as drug dealers and druggies since AT LEAST the 1970s (it only makes it worse that Valentino supposedly died in this time period.) It's been heavily implied that the smoke from his cigarettes acts as an aphrodisiac which is why he blows it in other peoples faces so much. We see him smoking cigarettes (which contain so much God damn chemicals in them but especially nicotine) throughout the show like its nothing meaning he's gotta have a high nicotine intake (logically, he would've gotten lung cancer by now.) The last racial stereotype that they gave him is the raging alcoholic and I know that anyone can become a raging alcoholic however alcoholism is actually a very common problem among Latinos as more than 33% of them suffer from issues related to an alcohol dependency. It's an ongoing problem that many Hispanics face and seeing how Val is already shown to be a violent individual WITHOUT alcohol in his system, that's only going to make him worse and we saw that in Episode #02 when Val got more irritable and threw his drink in Vox's direction upon knowing Angel Dust was staying at the HH.

___________ People of the jury, I rest my case and I hope you all liked reading my thoughts and I'll see you later!

One Hell of an Unpopular Opinion #09

With how they are now, I see no reason other than WLW/Yuri pandering as to how and why Charlie & Vaggie are still a couple. _______________________

Knowing how Hellaverse stans are, somebody is bound to accuse me of being a homophobe so let me clear some things up first. #01.) Not that it's really anyone's business but I'm a bi woman. #02.) I've been in a long term relationship with a woman before so I have personal experience on this. #03.) I'm well aware that people within the LGBT+ community can be homophobic whether they intend to or not however this is just an opinion on yet another poorly written relationship in the Hellaverse. #04.) If you're part of the LGBT+ community and you like the show or love it then good on you, dude. I still adore the Hazbin Hotel Pilot and enjoy most of Season #01 of Helluva Boss too.

With that all out of the way, FallenPrincess (Chaggie is a terrible ship name) isn't a good ship as it lacks so much chemistry that about half of Hazbin Hotel's new fans genuinely believed them to be friends until Episode #06 of Season #01 which is just two episodes shy of the finale. Mind you, it's not that Charlie & Vaggie didn't use pet names with each other throughout the season but the problem is that the pet names that they use for each other are generic. When Charlie isn't calling Vaggie by her name she calls her babe and when Vaggie isn't calling Charlie by her name she calls her either babe or hon. Both of these pet names can be applied to close friends and I know that sounds like a lie but it isn't as I've seen videos of straight people casually calling their other friends babe or honey. Hell, I've called my best friends babe before! So I can understand why some fans of the show would be confused when they realize that Charlie and Vaggie were not only dating the entire time but that they also had been dating for 3 YEARS. As someone who dated a girl for OVER 3 years they were written like they had only been dating for a year tops. Most of their screen time as a couple shows us that their top love languages are words of affirmation (i.e reassuring or attempting to reassure the other that everything is going to be alright) and physical contact which SOUNDS cute until you realize that... A.) They're normally reassuring each other about the same shit as they did the episode prior (with this being about Charlie's concerns regarding Heaven, the angels, and the Extermination.) B.) They don't interact with each other as much as you'd think/expect from the main couple of the series. C.) Further elaborating on point B, they probably have around 13 - 15 minutes of screen time where they're speaking directly to one another. D.) Vaggie is a character who solely exists to act as a cheerleader for Charlie as HH has not gone out of its way to show Vaggie caring about/for something else that isn't tied to Charlie and her dreams. I don't need Charlie & Vaggie to make sex jokes 24/7 and raunchy flirting like Viv has her gay male characters do. I just want to get to know what they do during their downtime when they don't have to worry about the hotel or about Heaven, when they could and should just be Charlie & Vaggie. When I was an avid fan of Hazbin Hotel fan during it's Pilot days I'd often imagine possible dates they'd go on like Charlie convincing Vaggie to go see a new musical together or Vaggie making Charlie a traditional Slavadoran dinner and excitedly telling her GF about how she made it and what went into it. Ironically, they had more chemistry in the Hazbin Hotel Pilot where Viv had ultimately decided to make FallenPrincess a canon couple at the last minute.

As shown in her intro card, Vaggie was originally going to be Charlie's best friend which would've made the most sense regarding the little bit of character we do know about Vaggie but I digress. Honestly, Viv probably can't attempt to even break up of FallenPrincess thanks to them being a major ship in the fandom (aka primary selling point) and because they are the ONLY MAIN GL/WLW RELATIONSHIP THAT THE HELLAVERSE HAS so if she does break them up she'll only make herself look EVEN MORE like a massive hypocritical fujoshi otaku (which means a woman who is obsessed with the BL/Yaoi genre) while also loosing out on making more money from her FallenPrincess fans.

_______________________

I meant to get this out before Valentine's Day was over except I ended up getting back into playing CRK during that time so here I am releasing this now.

Over all of the Hazbin Hotel ships, I chose this one.

I JUST KEEP COMING BACK TO THEMMMMMMM

One Hell of an Unpopular Opinion #01

I think that C.H.E.R.U.B. could work as a good foil to I.M.P. but the show (like everything else) utilized them in the wrong way. I actually liked their debut episode and how it played out although if there's one thing that I'd change about it, it would be not having Cletus, Collin, and Keenie get kicked out of Heaven. I'd do this for four reasons. #01.) The team would still want to get even with I.M.P. whether they got kicked out of Heaven or not. We know this because when they initially attempted to go home, Cletus threatened them by saying, "This isn't over," alluding to the fact that we would've seen them again regardless. #02.) Rather than having C.H.E.R.U.B. appear in random episodes (looking at you Season 2) they could appear as proper competitors to I.M.P. going forward with us not only getting to gradually see more members of C.H.E.R.U.B. but also develop a better understanding with how Heaven works, how they treat their Heaven born citizens, and possibly foreshadow how corrupt Heaven is since that's the angle Hazbin Hotel is going for. #03.) Cherubs are literally Heaven's equivalent to Imps. While they wouldn't fully understand how or why the members of I.M.P. are so messed up on account of not being demons themselves, they could, to an extent, empathize with how the members of I.M.P. are mistreated by higher classes. Like, imagine having an episode where both companies are competing over another human being but unlike their previous encounters, I.M.P. hasn't been landing as many deals lately meaning that both business and money have been tight. Naturally, they'd want to secure as many hits as possible and would be pissed to see that C.H.E.R.U.B. is here AGAIN to interfere with their business. Throughout the episode it'd be a close call, though I'd have C.H.E.R.U.B. win in the end so that I'd have someone like Blitzo say, "Oh, look at you! I bet you guys feel real proud for messing with our incomes, huh?" And one of the Cherub's could say something to the extent of, "Incomes? Wait, you guys don't just do this for fun???" Then have it be revealed that the Cherub's genuinely believed that I.M.P.'s business solely existed for some sick and twisted pleasure when in actuality, it was to preserve their livelihoods in Hell. After conversing about it a bit more, I'd have the members of C.H.E.R.U.B. talk among themselves before deciding that, "Y'know, we've done our part. So we're gonna leave but IF something WERE to happen once we've left then there'd be nothing we could do about it." Effectively, letting I.M.P. secure their hit since C.H.E.R.U.B.'s job is done as well as have plausible deniability if any one of their higher ups ask, "Hey, what the hell happened to this guy that you saved?"

#04.) My final point, is that their organization thematically clashes with what I.M.P. aims to do perfectly. I.M.P. wants to kill humans in the living world whereas C.H.E.R.U.B. wants to save them ensuring they live their human lives to the fullest and bidding farewell when they're ready to go. It's simplistic yet effective. Sorry for the long read, I usually go into depth with my opinions. Also, side note, does anyone actually know what the hell C.H.E.R.U.B.'s acronym stands for??? This has bothered me since their debut episode because I'm pretty sure we've never been told what it means.

CRK Crack Comics #03

Today's comics are brought to you by my rapidly declining sanity because the US is one big cruel joke. Enjoy! __________________

__________________

PS: The reason why Cream Unicorn Cookie is usually the one in the least amount of comics isn't because I dislike them or anything, it's because even though they're in like three CR games (CROB, CRK, and CR:WT I think I don't play the last one so correct me if I'm wrong) they're still the one I know about the least as a character.

HH & HB Related Post

Well, I didn't think that I would be making one of these again yet but here we are. Believe it or not a lot has happened since I made my last post in November of 2024 saying that rewriting HH or HB isn't worth it anymore but now that I've finally caught up on the rest of season #02 of HB, I've decided to redact that post I made back in early November of last year because the writers of Spindlehorse truly have proved to me that most of them never had a real grasp of media literacy to begin with. Now, I don't see myself as some brilliant writer who's on her way to becoming the next Shakespeare or some other arrogant BS like that but I know that without a single doubt in my mind, that I can write something better than the entirety of Helluva Boss Season #02 as well as everything I've seen from Hazbin Hotel. So I've decided that I will go back to rewriting HH & HB because I've realized that if the writers and creator at Spindlehorse can make their own characters look unrecognizable and derail who they were originally supposed to be/once were, that I have nothing to worry about as the worse that I'll be able to do is to make some lame ass fanfic to a show that already feels like an even worse fanfic of itself. TLDR: If Vivziepop and Spindlehorse can manage to make their own characters and narrative a million times worse then I'll just have to find a way to make it slightly better via rewrites.

One Hell of an Unpopular Opinion #04

The reason behind the Exterminations should've stayed to prevent Sinners from overpopulating the Pride Ring and I don't like how Hazbin Hotel portrays Adam as being in the wrong for hating Sinners.

_________

The whole, "We kill Sinners for our entertainment," reasoning from Adam and Lute as well as, "I approved of the Exterminations to avoid Hell's Sinners from starting an uprising," reasoning from Sera is so stupid. Specifically, Sera's reason. Because logically approving of the Exterminations would only lead to more and more Sinners wanting to start an uprising with each passing Extermination. Adam and Lute's reasoning has to be the way it is so that the show writers can make it seem like Charlie's in the right when the show gives us reason to believe that she's actively wrong. For example, Angel Dust was born in New York City and into a Mafia family likely somewhere around the years 1912 - 1915 as he's stated to have died in his young to mid 30s in the year 1947 due to a drug overdose. Angel Dust was a mobster for most if not all of his life but he hasn't shown or stated that he feels any remorse or guilt for what he did back then. The only thing he feels guilty for is for his past self having signed that contract with Valentino which is totally valid however making a soul contract with Valentino isn't the reason why he's in Hell. Angel Dust is in Hell for being a murderer, a drug trafficker, a drug attic, a smuggler, and for likely having committed several other money related crimes. I swear, people hear or see the word Mafia and automatically think of death when the majority of their crimes are motivated by currency. Like, its still not good but its not just senseless murder either. The point is, we haven't seen anything about Angel Dust truly wanting to change. Yeah, there was that scene in episode #06 where Angel turns down Cherri's offer to do drugs but that doesn't suddenly mean he's no longer a drug attic for turning down ONE offer. Most of the Sinners we see or know of in Hell are fucking horrendous people. Alastor was and still is a serial killing cannibal because he can. Let me repeat. He WAS and STILL IS a SERIAL KILLING CANNIBAL because he CAN! There is an entire place in the Pride Ring known as the Cannibal Colony (in the show it got changed to Cannibal Town but I've been calling it Cannibal Colony for 4 years now and I do not plan on stopping), Martha's in Hell which makes sense considering she and her entire family were actual Devil worshipers, Loopty and Lipton experimented and killed the poor, and Valentino is a rapist. We still don't know enough about most of what the HH's cast did when they were alive which is why I think Sir Pentious ultimately getting into Heaven was a load of BS. We don't even know why he ended up in Hell in the first place but he tries to help his "friends" once and dies in the process and that's enough to get him redeemed???

Seriously, what did he do to deserve damnation? Also, I know Viv probably doesn't have Cain or Able as that would give Adam an understandable, even justifiable, reason for despising Sinners. His first and oldest son, Cain, is LITERALLY the FIRST SINNER. For what? For killing his younger brother, Able, by slicing his throat with a knife or sharp object in the same manner Able did when sacrificing his lambs. Although, I've also heard that Cain killed Able by bludgeoning him to death with a stone by repeatedly bashing it into Able's skull. Either way, if anyone deserves to hate Sinners the MOST then it's Adam & Eve without a doubt.