Simple Poem 003
simple poem 003
My head feels heavy and my body’s full of lead slowly poisoning itself and going mad I feel like I could sink my fingers into my skull, and rip out a piece, like a chunk of cake pull myself apart the pieces don’t quite fit as they are like a jigsaw forced into place where it doesn’t belong
More Posts from Wishiwereaturtle and Others
The Ten Thousand Doors of January
A gorgeous, aching love letter to stories, storytellers, and the doors they lead us through. Absolutely enchanting.
When I saw this book at the library, I picked it up off the shelf because I remembered someone telling me it was their favorite book they had ever read. But this quote above (that was on the back of the book) was what convinced me to check it out and take it home.
This book was absolutely gorgeous; one of the loveliest books I’ve ever read. The prose is flowing and poetic, wrapping you in the warmth of the beauty of written language. The plot is a story within a story that twist in and around and through itself in interesting and exciting ways. The main character is a girl who’s grown up with conditional privilege, and must now discover and learn what it means to be strong. It is a story full of love - not only romantic, but also of friendship and family.
10/10 absolutely recommend.
simple poem 002
why do I feel so stuck when I have so many choices and tasks that can move me forward?
I fear that at my default level I do not truly want to live; merely exist in comfort and continue to get by.
I urge you to immerse yourself fully in the life that you've been given. To stop running from whatever you're trying to escape, and instead to stop, and turn, and face whatever it is. Then I dare you to walk toward it. In this way, the world may reveal itself to you as something magical and awe-inspiring that does not require escape. Instead, the world may become something worth paying attention to.
Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence by Anna Lembke, MD
Brennan: Make a religion check for me
Ally:
Sources: Fantasy High Sophomore year, ep 17 and ep 20
Same Energy
Sources: Fantasy High S1E16 & The Unsleeping City S1E17
This, right here, is the moment that Dimension 20 hooked me.
In the split-second gap between the first and second halves of Murph’s question, you can almost see a switch flip in Brennan from giving an analytical, factual measurement to the spark of fully understanding the storytelling implications of Murph’s question.
As I watched him realize that the best possible choice for this exact moment is for the butthole to be goblin sized, I began to truly understand the narrative power of DnD and everyone at that table.
Source: Fantasy High S1E2
Where I first heard about Dimension 20: this Nerdsync video
Honorable Mention: Gorgug asking people if they’re his dad
^^^ this one is what got me to start watching Dimension 20 in the first place, but the moment above is when I was truly hooked.
He was a capped jug; the contents there for sure. Rain on the outside didn't stir the brew.
Ray Bradbury
from the short story: Powerhouse
thoughts from another day 002
It’s all ephemeral and transitory and I feel unmoored and adrift with an overwhelming desire to be anchored and secure.
I feel like I’m swirling in this world of ideas and experiences, and I want to reach out and grasp them and capture the abstract with language. The expand and contract - get all of the thoughts and ideas into one place, and then break it down, organize it, understand it; and condense it back down to something cohesive.
But there are two many things there are too many things and ideas and people and complex interactions and relationships and how do you even begin to know where to start, how to start?
I feel like I’m being crushed
thoughts from another day 001
I love getting wrapped up in and enthralled with a story, but it also feels unproductive. Leaves me feeling like lack of motion or progress in actual life. Needs to be in balance with the rest of my priorities. I have a strong immediacy and recency bias, compounded with primarily extrinsic motivation makes me feel unmoored and ephemeral and also stagnant.
thoughts from another day 003
endless consumption leaves no room for thought or solitude or reflection or doing anything meaningful, no wonder I feel like a fucking waste of space. But even though I see this connection, I can't find it in myself to stop.
(see also: behavioral addiction)
(also see also: reread dopamine nation 👀. also probably digital minimalism and relentless elimination of hurry)
Lessons of the Balance
Conclusions from Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence by Anna Lembke, MD
The relentless pursuit of pleasure (and avoidance of pain) leads to pain.
Recovery begins with abstinence.
Abstinence resets the brain’s reward pathway and with it our capacity to take joy in simpler pleasures.
Self-binding creates literal and metacognitive space between desire and consumption, a modern necessity in our dopamine-overloaded world.
Medications can restore homeostasis, but consider what we lose by medicating away our pain.
Pressing on the pain side resets our balance to the side of pleasure.
Beware of getting addicted to pain.
Radical honesty promotes awareness, enhances intimacy, and fosters a plenty mindset.
Prosocial shame affirms that we belong to the human tribe.
Instead of running away from the world, we can find escape by immersing ourselves in it.
