Yes. Have YOU Considered That Sometimes Working On Hard Things Is Both Necessary And Worthwhile?

thoughts from another day 001

I love getting wrapped up in and enthralled with a story, but it also feels unproductive. Leaves me feeling like lack of motion or progress in actual life. Needs to be in balance with the rest of my priorities. I have a strong immediacy and recency bias, compounded with primarily extrinsic motivation makes me feel unmoored and ephemeral and also stagnant.

simple poem 003

My head feels heavy and my body’s full of lead slowly poisoning itself and going mad I feel like I could sink my fingers into my skull, and rip out a piece, like a chunk of cake pull myself apart the pieces don’t quite fit as they are like a jigsaw forced into place where it doesn’t belong

[gripping the sink] perfectionism does not help me avoid embarrassment or shame. perfectionism is in itself a form of shame. when i struggle with perfectionism i struggle with shame. when i struggle with perfectionism i struggle with shame. when i struggle with perfectionism i struggle with shame

thoughts from another day 004

wow, getting myself into community space, and seeing people living their lives and being kind and just being human is so good for my soul

Brennan: Make a religion check for me

Ally:

Sources: Fantasy High Sophomore year, ep 17 and ep 20

Same Energy

Sources: Fantasy High S1E16 & The Unsleeping City S1E17

This, right here, is the moment that Dimension 20 hooked me.

In the split-second gap between the first and second halves of Murph’s question, you can almost see a switch flip in Brennan from giving an analytical, factual measurement to the spark of fully understanding the storytelling implications of Murph’s question. 

As I watched him realize that the best possible choice for this exact moment is for the butthole to be goblin sized, I began to truly understand the narrative power of DnD and everyone at that table.

Source: Fantasy High S1E2

Where I first heard about Dimension 20: this Nerdsync video

Honorable Mention: Gorgug asking people if they’re his dad

^^^ this one is what got me to start watching Dimension 20 in the first place, but the moment above is when I was truly hooked.

I urge you to immerse yourself fully in the life that you've been given. To stop running from whatever you're trying to escape, and instead to stop, and turn, and face whatever it is. Then I dare you to walk toward it. In this way, the world may reveal itself to you as something magical and awe-inspiring that does not require escape. Instead, the world may become something worth paying attention to.

Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence by Anna Lembke, MD

simple poem 002

why do I feel so stuck when I have so many choices and tasks that can move me forward?

I fear that at my default level I do not truly want to live; merely exist in comfort and continue to get by.

There's not an answer at the back of the book

In the middle of episode 2 of Dimension 20's The Seven, Jawbone's speech to Penny hit quite close to home for me.

As someone who was a high-achieving student, I currently feel so overwhelmed facing the reality of the sheer volume of choices I have to make for myself in the adult world. Up to this point, I "could always just try harder to keep every single plate spinning."

And now, suddenly, not only are there too many things to successfully balance at the same time, but there's no objectively right answer on what I should be doing with my life.

~

I am continually blown away by Brennan - both his incredible depth of understanding of the nuance of human experience and his ability to capture that deep truth, pull it out, and articulate it so profoundly within these beautiful story moments.

Jawbone is not trying to give Penny empty reassurances that "everything will be okay if she follows her heart." It is out of his desire for her wellbeing that he, in truth and love, gently but firmly conveys the difficult reality of stepping into adulthood.

And by cutting through the fluff and grasping straight at the heart of the issue, Brennan drilled in to exactly how I've been feeling lately. In that moment, I felt both a deep discomfort to the vulnerability of feeling so seen and exposed, and also a great warmth and assurance to feeling so seen and understood by someone expressing a true depth of care along with their depth of insight.

~

In conclusion, D&D rules.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You have a real bond with these friends. That matters. Yes things change over time, but also, you can hold on to things that matter to you.

What I see, if I can, be honest with you, is a little bit of anxiety, maybe like, in your life you've never had to choose, because you could always just try harder to keep every single plate spinning. And maybe, as you approach adulthood, something is coming that might actually mean that something gets dropped.

...

Flawless grades, [you] keep a lot of things in the air, I think there might be, a part of you that is feeling anxiety, again, not just around the social aspect of all of this but the fact that, for the first time, you're starting to see that in adult life you're not on the rails anymore. We structure the lives of kids to have an amount of brass rings where you can grab them all. Year after year, there's grades and there's finals and there's all these things, and as you approach adulthood, all of a sudden, you're not on a ride, you're in the amusement park, and it's closing. Eventually. And you gotta decide what rides you wanna go on and what brass rings you wanna get, 'cause you, Penny I need you to hear me here, you're not gonna be able to get them all.

...

Again, mostly it's - you know what you gotta do. And the hard thing is this, Penny. Stuff that's coming, no one's gonna give you a grade on most of it. Your friend group? You have to decide the right thing to do, and there's not, an answer at the back of the book. It's just gonna be what, you, want.

Lessons of the Balance

Conclusions from Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence by Anna Lembke, MD

The relentless pursuit of pleasure (and avoidance of pain) leads to pain.

Recovery begins with abstinence.

Abstinence resets the brain’s reward pathway and with it our capacity to take joy in simpler pleasures.

Self-binding creates literal and metacognitive space between desire and consumption, a modern necessity in our dopamine-overloaded world.

Medications can restore homeostasis, but consider what we lose by medicating away our pain.

Pressing on the pain side resets our balance to the side of pleasure.

Beware of getting addicted to pain.

Radical honesty promotes awareness, enhances intimacy, and fosters a plenty mindset.

Prosocial shame affirms that we belong to the human tribe.

Instead of running away from the world, we can find escape by immersing ourselves in it.