Wizeardmanteis

so sick and twisted that i can't do everything and learn everything in the world all at once forever

lamenta mybeloved

(source)

i just keep thinking about them !! look at my little furby collection, isnt it something ?

fun fact i had a jester once but, its definitely been missing for some time now. it had the energy of a bowl someone had hidden behind a hello kitty alarm clock for some random teen to find and take home from a michaels craft store. and before leaving it there to be found, theyd gotten it from their dead grandmas estate and brought it into the woods to do a ritual séance and dance naked in the dark woods in a circle of fire with the bowl for a few hours to summon a spirit into it. and then painted a hello kity on it in the center for some random teen to find and then bring home with them. and then the teen was told to bring a bowl to soak their rice in and clean it, so they did soak the rice but then the rice possessed the spirits energy. and when the people ate it they became possessed themselves and collectedly evil. red eyes and all. thats the type of energy that furby had. that was its aura. that was the entire vision displayed to you. and i think it had a curse or something cause something was definitely very wrong with it. its energy was awful and everytime i held it, it would stare through me and make mechanical sounds and thats it. it didnt have batteries in it or anything. it was like not real, like not in this reality. like working in another and not supposed to be in this one. i actually have only one surviving photo of it as well.

this photo however is very old, 4 collective years in fact, and not one id origionally taken. but was right next to the person who did. and this was back when the middle school anime club at the community library was open. never opened again after that, closed since then for maintenance:(( oh well, but anyway its actually kind of funny because all of these furbies in the photo are deceased. they are no longer in my present. in fact i havent seen any of these in years. and yes they were all mine, i used to only have those furbys actually, until these new ones in the photos at the very top made themselves known to me. now theyve taken the places of the ones in the anime club meeting photo. thats kind of interesting now that i think about it actually. maybe its the way the social circle works or something. regardless, my jester, where ever his where abouts are, are also unknown. as he was the last to dissapear of the collective. perhaps i will find myself another. one without that such a menacing energy as the endless entrails of the fake hello kitty spirit bowl. but i will tell you, i miss those anime club meetings. its been a long time.

I have my TV open at nights with no sound (everything’s subtitles here) to keep me company while I draw, write or read. I don’t watch it, but sometimes my attention turns to the TV for some reason.

As I’m drawing here now my head turned, almost on its own, to the TV. A woman was speaking in a crime series to a man. She said “We must understand that The God works on his own Divine timing.”

I’m like “Okay. A clear message. I’ve heard this previously, also delivered to me directly.”

Then, RIGHT after that, I put on an audio book Many Lives, Many Masters by Dr. Brian Weiss. It’s non-fiction book of Brian Weiss who discovered past lives together with his psychiatric patient. The audio books starts with the following:

“Everything comes when it must come. A life can not be rushed. Can not be worked on a schedule as so many people want it to be. We must accept what comes to us in the given time.”

Chaïm Soutine, Flayed Rabbit (Le Lapin écorché), c. 1921

Oil on canvas, 73 x 60 cm

something i forgot to mention in this post, is that after id left my room to do my chores, many stranger things had happened following the discovery of the strange dvd. id forgotten to include this for whatever reason, but the hot glue i was looking for was still lost. i could not make my bracelet or fix anything id needed to fix for some time since itd been missing. i had checked everywhere and after id walked my dogs, had asked my brother if he knew where it was and if he had it to just tell me and id use it and give it back. my brother had become so consumed by emotion, he grew angry, and it confused me greatly. he said “fine!” and ran to his room and retrieved a candle and a lighter then sat them down on the table. id asked him, “what are you doing?” rightfully confused. and hed just told me to wait and watch. he closed his eyes and started whispering over the lit candle flame and i watched as the candle light flickered and responded to his question. i was very concerned and confused and went to tell my mother. she was very angry after the whole hot glue incident with my brother earlier, i still do not know why, as it is just hot glue. but id found everyone strangely more upset than usual over this hot glue, so it was seeming to become a trend. and upon hearing about what i had just seen she was even more upset to hear what id told her. we were both very confused to where hed learned to do that and why hed done it at all. he told me hed asked it where the hot glue was and itd told him it was in the garage. it was not, infact, in the garage upon looking. so it was already a deceptive voice. but after that was done, the energy in the house had shifted. the lighting had felt a bit dimmer, everything just slightly darker than the usual for the night. and the energy around me was prickly like i could feel the static in the air. the turning point when id known something was wrong was when my dog, the black one, was sitting upstairs, and as i was walking up the stairs. his face hadnt stopped to look at my own, but instead up above my head toward the ceiling, and it stayed there until i was well up the stairs and approaching him. i followed his gaze as it shifted up the remainder of the stairs and to the foyer where we both sat. my dog absolutely lost his mind at that and ran straight into his kennel. when id approached him, hed growled at me. he was incredibly startled and wouldnt get near me or the stairs. i dont know what he saw, but obviously it wasnt good. and i felt it, at my back. i could feel a presence directly behind me following me around like a dog on a leash. i was startled and the feeling of it being so close had me on edge, as it followed me back to my room. at this, i stopped skimming through the strange dvd. and i was sick of feeling it hover over me. so i went and told my mother, and she said shed clean the energy in the house when shed sleep later, that she felt it become dreary as well. the dogs downstairs were freaking out the same, howling and barking. it was an unsettling night and sure enough, did not get better as the night went on. when everyone was asleep and the cleaning had been done, id stepped outside my room and tasted the energy around me. the sticky cold texture of peanut butter confection layed dormant in the air. like whatever it was that cast it outward was still and waiting. unable to move and possibly in an inbetween. i stayed in place and waited myself as well, to see if anything would change and sure enough i heard a faint tapping sound from somewhere in the house and what i could describe to be breathing, out in the foyer to the room adjacent of the hallway, and leading to the stairs. breathing like that found in sleep. though it did not bother me to hear, as it is heavily prominent in my reality to hear such things. though it soon dissipated as the night went on, and energy began to settle from its frenzied state into a clean page for a new day to be described on. that is all. a strange day filled with much stranger things. cant say id like for it to happen again.

A Murmur / Like Milk Was the Flower

by Mary Herbert (2021)

Soft pastel on paper.

adults(…( ˘︹˘ ))