Anyone Got Some Good Pussy Eating Fic Recs?

I want a girl to make me ride her strap for the first time so bad. I want her to guide me on how to do it, how to hit those spots inside me, I want her to do nothing but just watch my awkward pathetic attempts to be able to do it right to get any relief "c'mon baby make yourself feel good for me" doing nothing but kissing my neck and chest, lightly gropping me smiling as she knows I just can't fucking cum without her

I don’t know how to say this in a non-obsessed way, but I need the ao3 status updates to be beamed straight into my head whenever the archive goes down. I need that shit announced like we’re in a plane attempting to make a risky landing. Oh we’re down for another 20 minutes because of a server in the Pacific? Sure, thanks. I’ll just wait here.

Reblog if you say "Y'all"

When will my husband (Ao3) return from war (is up again)

*taps mic* STEVE HARRINGTON IS NOT STUPID.

Thank you for your time.

fanfiction was such a good idea. like put those guys in situations

I just think being tied up while they find out exactly how many times I can cum in a row before I pass out would fix me

I can’t be the only one who would rather be fucked in a cute lil skirt or dress instead of being naked right?? Don’t undress me just push up my skirt and rip my panties off and do me just like that 💕

My heart goes out to the Irish in these trying times. May you not contract alcohol poisoning from celebrating the news

Guy wearing "I ❤️ Arson" Shirt: Let me redecorate your house.

Voters: Okay.

Voters, later: Oh, no, the house is on fire!

Firefighter: I can put it out but you need to kick out the arsonist guy.

Voters: Whatever! Do it!

Voters, later: Ew, the house smells like smoke!

Firefighter: Okay? It was on fire earlier. I'm still dealing with it.

Guy wearing "I ❤️ Arson and Killing Firefighters" Shirt: Let me back in and I'll fix the smoke issue.

Firefighter: Don't! He will literally set your house on fire again. He brought a whole crew with matches and cans of gasoline with him.

Voters: I'm pretty sure those are paint cans.

Firefighter: It says gasoline on the cans!

Voters: Get out, I'm gonna let the previous guy in.