How Do I Make My Fictional Gypsies Not Racist?
(Or, "You can't, sorry, but…")
You want to include some Gypsies in your fantasy setting. Or, you need someone for your main characters to meet, who is an outsider in the eyes of the locals, but who already lives here. Or you need a culture in conflict with your settled people, or who have just arrived out of nowhere. Or, you just like the idea of campfires in the forest and voices raised in song. And you’re about to step straight into a muckpile of cliches and, accidentally, write something racist.
(In this, I am mostly using Gypsy as an endonym of Romany people, who are a subset of the Romani people, alongside Roma, Sinti, Gitano, Romanisael, Kale, etc, but also in the theory of "Gypsying" as proposed by Lex and Percy H, where Romani people are treated with a particular mix of orientalism, criminalisation, racialisation, and othering, that creates "The Gypsy" out of both nomadic peoples as a whole and people with Romani heritage and racialised physical features, languages, and cultural markers)
Enough of my friends play TTRPGs or write fantasy stories that this question comes up a lot - They mention Dungeons and Dragons’ Curse Of Strahd, World Of Darkness’s Gypsies, World Of Darkness’s Ravnos, World of Darkness’s Silent Striders… And they roll their eyes and say “These are all terrible! But how can I do it, you know, without it being racist?”
And their eyes are big and sad and ever so hopeful that I will tell them the secret of how to take the Roma of the real world and place them in a fictional one, whilst both appealing to gorjer stereotypes of Gypsies and not adding to the weight of stereotyping that already crushes us. So, disappointingly, there is no secret.
Gypsies, like every other real-world culture, exist as we do today because of interactions with cultures and geography around us: The living waggon, probably the archetypal thing which gorjer writers want to include in their portrayals of nomads, is a relatively modern invention - Most likely French, and adopted from French Showmen by Romanies, who brought it to Britain. So already, that’s a tradition that only spans a small amount of the time that Gypsies have existed, and only a small number of the full breadth of Romani ways of living. But the reasons that the waggon is what it is are based on the real world - The wheels are tall and iron-rimmed, because although you expect to travel on cobbled, tarmac, or packed-earth roads and for comparatively short distances, it wasn’t rare to have to ford a river in Britain in the late nineteenth century, on country roads. They were drawn by a single horse, and the shape of that horse was determined by a mixture of local breeds - Welsh cobs, fell ponies, various draft breeds - as well as by the aesthetic tastes of the breeders. The stove inside is on the left, so that as you move down a British road, the chimney sticks up into the part where there will be the least overhanging branches, to reduce the chance of hitting it.
So taking a fictional setting that looks like (for example) thirteenth century China (with dragons), and placing a nineteenth century Romanichal family in it will inevitably result in some racist assumptions being made, as the answer to “Why does this culture do this?” becomes “They just do it because I want them to” rather than having a consistent internal logic.
Some stereotypes will always follow nomads - They appear in different forms in different cultures, but they always arise from the settled people's same fears: That the nomads don't share their values, and are fundamentally strangers. Common ones are that we have a secret language to fool outsiders with, that we steal children and disguise them as our own, that our sexual morals are shocking (This one has flipped in the last half century - From the Gypsy Lore Society's talk of the lascivious Romni seductress who will lie with a strange man for a night after a 'gypsy wedding', to today's frenzied talk of 'grabbing' and sexually-conservative early marriages to ensure virginity), that we are supernatural in some way, and that we are more like animals than humans. These are tropes where if you want to address them, you will have to address them as libels - there is no way to casually write a baby-stealing, magical succubus nomad without it backfiring onto real life Roma. (The kind of person who has the skills to write these tropes well, is not the kind of person who is reading this guide.)
It’s too easy to say a list of prescriptive “Do nots”, which might stop you from making the most common pitfalls, but which can end up with your nomads being slightly flat as you dance around the topics that you’re trying to avoid, rather than being a rich culture that feels real in your world.
So, here are some questions to ask, to create your nomadic people, so that they will have a distinctive culture of their own that may (or may not) look anything like real-world Romani people: These aren't the only questions, but they're good starting points to think about before you make anything concrete, and they will hopefully inspire you to ask MORE questions.
First - Why are they nomadic? Nobody moves just to feel the wind in their hair and see a new horizon every morning, no matter what the inspirational poster says. Are they transhumant herders who pay a small rent to graze their flock on the local lord’s land? Are they following migratory herds across common land, being moved on by the cycle of the seasons and the movement of their animals? Are they seasonal workers who follow man-made cycles of labour: Harvests, fairs, religious festivals? Are they refugees fleeing a recent conflict, who will pass through this area and never return? Are they on a regular pilgrimage? Do they travel within the same area predictably, or is their movement governed by something that is hard to predict? How do they see their own movements - Do they think of themselves as being pushed along by some external force, or as choosing to travel? Will they work for and with outsiders, either as employees or as partners, or do they aim to be fully self-sufficient? What other jobs do they do - Their whole society won’t all be involved in one industry, what do their children, elderly, disabled people do with their time, and is it “work”?
If they are totally isolationist - How do they produce the things which need a complex supply chain or large facilities to make? How do they view artefacts from outsiders which come into their possession - Things which have been made with technology that they can’t produce for themselves? (This doesn’t need to be anything about quality of goods, only about complexity - A violin can be made by one artisan working with hand tools, wood, gut and shellac, but an accordion needs presses to make reeds, metal lathes to make screws, complex organic chemistry to make celluloid lacquer, vulcanised rubber, and a thousand other components)
How do they feel about outsiders? How do they buy and sell to outsiders? If it’s seen as taboo, do they do it anyway? Do they speak the same language as the nearby settled people (With what kind of fluency, or bilingualism, or dialect)? Do they intermarry, and how is that viewed when it happens? What stories does this culture tell about why they are a separate people to the nearby settled people? Are those stories true? Do they have a notional “homeland” and do they intend to go there? If so, is it a real place?
What gorjers think of as classic "Gipsy music" is a product of our real-world situation. Guitar from Spain, accordions from the Soviet Union (Which needed modern machining and factories to produce and make accessible to people who weren't rich- and which were in turn encouraged by Soviet authorities preferring the standardised and modern accordion to the folk traditions of the indigenous peoples within the bloc), brass from Western classical traditions, via Balkan folk music, influences from klezmer and jazz and bhangra and polka and our own music traditions (And we influence them too). What are your people's musical influences? Do they make their own instruments or buy them from settled people? How many musical traditions do they have, and what are they all for (Weddings, funerals, storytelling, campfire songs, entertainment...)? Do they have professional musicians, and if so, how do those musicians earn money? Are instrument makers professionals, or do they use improvised and easy-to-make instruments like willow whistles, spoons, washtubs, etc? (Of course the answer can be "A bit of both")
If you're thinking about jobs - How do they work? Are they employed by settled people (How do they feel about them?) Are they self employed but providing services/goods to the settled people? Are they mostly avoidant of settled people other than to buy things that they can't produce themselves? Are they totally isolationist? Is their work mostly subsistence, or do they create a surplus to sell to outsiders? How do they interact with other workers nearby? Who works, and how- Are there 'family businesses', apprentices, children with part time work? Is it considered 'a job' or just part of their way of life? How do they educate their children, and is that considered 'work'? How old are children when they are considered adult, and what markers confer adulthood? What is considered a rite of passage?
When they travel, how do they do it? Do they share ownership of beasts of burden, or each individually have "their horse"? Do families stick together or try to spread out? How does a child begin to live apart from their family, or start their own family? Are their dwellings something that they take with them, or do they find places to stay or build temporary shelter with disposable material? Who shares a dwelling and why? What do they do for privacy, and what do they think privacy is for?
If you're thinking about food - Do they hunt? Herd? Forage? Buy or trade from settled people? Do they travel between places where they've sown crops or managed wildstock in previous years, so that when they arrive there is food already seeded in the landscape? How do they feel about buying food from settled people, and is that common? If it's frowned upon - How much do people do it anyway? How do they preserve food for winter? How much food do they carry with them, compared to how much they plan to buy or forage at their destinations? How is food shared- Communal stores, personal ownership?
Why are they a "separate people" to the settled people? What is their creation myth? Why do they believe that they are nomadic and the other people are settled, and is it correct? Do they look different? Are there legal restrictions on them settling? Are there legal restrictions on them intermixing? Are there cultural reasons why they are a separate people? Where did those reasons come from? How long have they been travelling? How long do they think they've been travelling? Where did they come from? Do they travel mostly within one area and return to the same sites predictably, or are they going to move on again soon and never come back?
And then within that - What about the members of their society who are "unusual" in some way: How does their society treat disabled people? (are they considered disabled, do they have that distinction and how is it applied?) How does their society treat LGBT+ people? What happens to someone who doesn't get married and has no children? What happens to someone who 'leaves'? What happens to young widows and widowers? What happens if someone just 'can't fit in'? What happens to someone who is adopted or married in? What happens to people who are mixed race, and in a fantasy setting to people who are mixed species? What is taboo to them and what will they find shocking if they leave? What is society's attitude to 'difference' of various kinds?
Basically, if you build your nomads from the ground-up, rather than starting from the idea of "I want Gypsies/Buryats/Berbers/Minceiri but with the numbers filed off and not offensive" you can end up with a rich, unique nomadic culture who make sense in your world and don't end up making a rod for the back of real-world cultures.
There are a lot of different words to describe the roles that characters play within the narrative, some characters can occupy multiple roles at once, but these terms are not always synonymous. Confusion can occur when one assumes that one term encompasses another with which it is often paired.
These are some terms and a brief overview of how they will be used on this blog.
Protagonist: The leading character. Not necessarily of any particular moral persuasion, can be a goodie, a baddie, or an in-betweenie, depending on the story being told. Can be a group of people either working together, or who inhabit the same narrative.
Antagonist: A person or the person who opposes the protagonist, there can be multiple antagonists for any given protagonist. Does not indicate any particular moral code except that they are in conflict with the protagonist.
Main Character: The leading character. Often in an ensemble cast there is one character who is more central to the story. (Most generic term)
Focalising Character: Characters through which we see the story, their perceptions and knowledge will colour the narrative and influence the reader’s opinions. A story can have one or many focalising characters, but only one can be used at a time (a ‘switching POV’ is a shift from one focalising character to another).
Hero/ heroine: Often a protagonist. Is a character who is explicitly siding with the moral good.
Anti-hero: Often a protagonist. Is a character who is the centre of a heroic narrative while not having ‘conventional’ heroic traits.
Villain: Often an antagonist. Is a character who is explicitly siding with the moral evil.
Anti-villain: Often an antagonist. Is a character who may be explicitly siding with moral evil, but likely has non-villainous motivations or attributes.
Foil: A particular type of antagonist or villain who’s personal qualities compliment or contrast in such a way that they illuminate thematic elements of the protagonist or hero’s character.
Secondary Character: A character who is not in the central protagonist/ focalising character role. Can have significant role/ impact on the narrative, but is not the focus of the narrative.
Minor Character: A smaller role than the secondary characters, may appear only for a few lines, attention to detail on minor characters can help make world building feel more ‘real’.
Narrator: The character who is ‘voicing’ the story. May or may not be a character that is personally a part of the story. (Not all stories have explicit narrators, but all stories have narrative voice!)
There is no wrong or right way of doing this fanfic-writing thing. Free yourself in 2025 by embracing whatever sort of writer you are.
If you can only post a story once a year or you want to post everyday, it's okay.
Whether you can only write drabbles or 100k stuff, it's okay.
Maybe your strength lies in writing fantasy, or romance or adventure, or non graphic smut, or omergaverse, or whatever kinky stuff there is out there, or comedy, or musical, medieval stuff, etc., it's okay.
Whether you're in a large or a tiny fandom, it's okay.
There is an audience for everything and everyone. It's not possible to dip one's toes in everything. Things can be learned and you can diversify if you really want to do more things with your writing. There is no gun to your head though. Even our favorite artists aren't good at everything.
It seems like recently there is so much pressure on fanfic writers to write certain stuff, in a certain way and for certain fandoms.
Let's not forget that from the get-go fanfic-writing is a FUN HOBBY and hence the secret is for you to write what you want to write, how you want to write it, when you want to write it and for whatever fandom you love.
have *you* ever seen writing "advice" that mistakes harshness for honesty and punches in the gut for powerful points, and then tells you if you are not constantly, every day, scorching the earth on which you walk with your fiery passion for words - then you are not a writer?
I have! And it really gets to me when I see someone tear other people down rather than build them up, extinguish their lights for being more candles in the dark than nuclear bombs dropped from the sky, who would risk there being more misery rather than cultivate the joy of creating and sharing emotions, ideas, worlds...
So I wrote a post on why YOUR (whoever is reading this right now) writing is needed by the world, as long as it is in that spirit of deep connection and creativity that stretches beyond time and space and can outlive you by several orders of magnitude
I actually strongly take issue with "No one needs your writing". It's not just extremely discouraging and depressing, and turning away a lot of people for not burning with passion at temperatures of the sun, but very likely also just wrong.
Someone out there is missing out on a smile in a torrent of misery, a feeling of connection in a sea of loneliness, a moment of peace in what feels like an eternity of hurt. They won't have that moment of bliss, maybe their day saved, or even entire life changed for the better.
People sometimes think this is reserved to some small group of particularly good writers, that everyone else is foolish to think that anyone can have a big influence on anyone. And it's impossible to predict.
It can be in the most unexpected ways: a random fanfic touching someone's heart because they happen to address a very particular grief or longing that is unlikely to ever be published with characters that feel like family, a small poem providing strength at the hardest moments because it used language that resonated with a reader on a niche subject, an autobiographical story inspiring someone to a new, ethical life... there are so many possibilities.
And I know this *because I am talking from experience*. So many fanfics have let me imagine other lives that could be my own, made me see from new perspectives, awakened hidden feelings or mollified pain, formed the basis of years of friendships and self-discovery, or just opened me up to so many new genres of writing. So many random stories of people, imagined or of this Earth, that bring a light to the darkness of apathy, aloneness, and angst that threaten to engulf so many in the world.
And vice versa, I have been told that my writing (not published, not even getting 10 likes on Tumblr or Ao3!) has inspired some people, been "exactly the right amount of humorous" or even that one line I wrote was the best one they had ever read.
PLEASE, WRITE YOUR THING! FOR everyone whose life might be saved by it, even if just a bit.
I don’t know if anyone has ever done this before but, here ya go… The Different Types of Fanfiction!
I probably left a few out, but these are the most common, compared to their base fiction’s canon plot. Enjoy! XD
Been thinking about this a lot lately... It's especially good advice for those of us that are terrible plotters. Just take it one step at a time.
If there’s a piece of writing you love, that makes you wish you had the ability to do what it does, the tools you're looking for are inside the story itself. Fiction is rarely mysterious in how it works. All you have to do is pay attention with the right mindset.
What you’re looking for is cause and effect, set-up and pay off. What does that piece of dialogue set up a) within the scene and b) later in the narrative? What purpose does this moment serve for the story as a whole? Can you identify the turning points within the scene and the turning points in the larger narrative? How do they fit together? You’ll find these things tend to fall into general patterns. Don’t get distracted by focusing on character details, analysis, or speculation! Fandom tends to overemphasize character to the exclusion of everything else. You probably already know how to analyze characters, but how much time do you spend thinking about the mechanics of the narrative? If you can figure out what makes the stories you love work, you can teach yourself to do any kind of storytelling you want to.
Reign's Writing Tips
Pt 1 - General advice
I just want to say first, as a disclaimer, that I don't regard myself as the authority on 'good' writing, I've just gotten quite a few people asking for help and people expressing curiosity for my creative process.
Please don't consider this as a checklist and feel like you're doing things wrong, this is just a way for you to get a sense of where to begin and conceptualise where you'd like to be. We're all on different paths and those paths are not more or less valid than others.
This guide will include examples from my own works and hypothetical ones, using only written fics (smaus have their own guide, please find it in my navigation). This also doesn't tackle how to write fanfiction specifically, just general fictional writing.
These are formatted based on the questions I received in my messages and inbox.
Content:
༯ How to show and not tell ༯ How to write dialogue ༯ How to increase word count and why you might want to ༯ Other advice ༯ Paragraph structuring ༯ Punctuations ༯ How to fix up typos ༯ How to get better generally ༯ Final disclaimers
How to show and not tell!
༯ Beginner writers, and indeed, established ones too, often forget the very important rule of showing and not telling. This rule, of course, refers to the idea of building up descriptions or hinting to a certain thought so that the readers may reach that conclusions themselves.
༯ It's important you trust your readers to be able to follow along on their own. Sometimes if you tell them what to think it can cause a disconnect between your writing and them.
༯ This is also a good way of varying your sentences and not coming off as repetitive.
Emotions
༯ Let's go through some examples via the art of expressing emotions.
Example: Pathetic piner!Gojo
Pathetic piner!Gojo asks, voice rough and distorted, “Did you sleep with him? Do you love him?”
༯ Here, we can see that there is no definitive emotion asserted. I didn't write 'Gojo asks, upset' or 'Angry, Gojo asks'
༯ Instead, I am describing his voice. Using the adjectives 'rough' and distorted' allows the readers to figure out for themselves how he's feeling without being too simplistic.
༯ Often, expressing emotion in this way is better than simply saying he's sad or confused because those words can't capture the complexity of his feelings.
༯ Now, let it be known that it can be just as good to be direct about a character's feelings. It is simply all about intention. What are you trying to convey here?
༯ Another important thing to note is that if your work is written in a certain narrative voice, i.e. first person, you should limit information to what that character could only know realistically.
༯ In the context of the above example, it is 'y/n' who is perceiving Gojo, thus it would only make sense that they'd have a limited understanding of how exactly Gojo is feeling. So, instead of them catching on immediately that he's upset, they instead can only note down these things that are out of the ordinary.
༯ Use body language to describe their emotional state.
More examples:
The corner of his mouth curved up = smiling, finding humour in something
His brows furrowed = confusion, concentration, tension
Her lips pursed = dissatisfaction, barely restrained anger
Hand flexed, jaw ticked, teeth bared = anger, thoughts of violence
Sniffled, bottom lip trembled = about to cry, sad, trying not to be
How to write dialogue!
༯ Vary your sentence structures
Example: Homecoming
“Sorry, Si.” He swings his arm around the back of your thighs, encouraging you to straddle him. “You just look so good.” He hums, letting you get settled in his lap whilst he rubs his thumb over the skin of your hip almost as if he can’t help himself. “Can look as much as y’ want, lovie. ‘m all y’rs.”
༯ You can have speech at the beginning and at the end of a paragraph. Not in the middle though — it's messy and confusing if written in the middle because the dialogue gets lost in the paragraph (but note that you can do as you please. It's just one of those 'rules' that aren't really 'rules')
༯ You also don't need to use say/said and other variations of that. It's enough to simply have the speech enclosed.
༯ A good rule of thumb when using say/said/other variations is if there's something significant about the way in which it was said.
Example: A Cursed Forest
His amber eyes cut through yours, and with disdain, he orders, “Finish your food, and do not question me anymore.”
༯ Here, I introduce the speech with 'orders' to show that Sukuna (the character referred to as 'he') is not speaking kindly or like they are equals. It reasserts the power imbalance between the two characters. I also say that it is being said 'with disdain' to emphasise the tension between them, to give some kind of understanding as to his feelings towards the other character.
༯ It is also a way for me, as the writer, to add depth to the other character: she is able to recognise disdain because she has faced it her entire life.
༯ Another thing to be aware of when making dialogue is restrict one paragraph to one character's speech. Please don't do multiple people speaking in one section. It's very messy, confusing and not 'proper.' Again, if that is how you like things, perfectly fine! It's your style, but if you care about doing things 'right' then yeah, one person's speech per paragraph please.
How to increase the word count!
༯ I didn't actually know to phrase this so I'll just yap about what I mean
༯ There are going to be instances where you'd like to space out dialogue so it's not coming off like a script.
Example:
He said, "You need to do your homework." "I don't want to." "You must, young lady." "Says who?" "Go to your room!"
༯ Try to avoid, as much as possible, having lots of clusters of these one sentence conversations.
༯ Once in a while is fine and can be effective in expressing something like the speed at which these words are being exchanged, exploring their tense dynamic.
༯ But if snappiness isn't what you're going for and you find that you're having lots of these clusters then fill the spaces between dialogue with details and descriptions.
Example:
Tired yet insistent, he said, "You need to do your homework." "I don't want to." "You must, young lady." Clare's father was always nagging at her. She thought it unfair, considering she had just turned sixteen and ought to be treated like the young lady that she was. Capable and intelligent, she could decide for herself how she was to spend her evenings. "Says who?" "Go to your room!" He roared. Her legs took her upstairs faster than she could process the fright he had given her. Never in all of her life had her father ever raised his voice like that; she knew not what to do. He was a mild-mannered man, not timid or passive, but rather, calm and rational. To see him in a fit of rage so volatile, shook Clare's constitution to no end that night.
༯ Use body language descriptors, describe the weather, the room they're in etc.
༯ What are the characters seeing and experiencing?
༯ Don't write it as if you're a fly on the wall if you've taken on a specific pov. Embody the character. See what they see, hear what they hear, feel for them. They aren't 2D characters, bring them to life with anecdotes, with thought processes, anxieties and fears.
༯ Another instance where you'd like to fill up the word count might be if you're trying to give the sense of time passing.
Example: In Sheep's Clothing
“Well, you should still afford me the decency of leaving my home when asked.” “Your home? Didn’t know the old lady gave it away.” You gulp, clutching the thick blanket even tighter. “You knew my grandmother?” He grunts. Well aware you really ought to kick him out, you’re ashamed at the realisation that you can’t bring yourself to. It’s awfully terrible outside and there’s no doubt the elements would claim him if he he’s left out with no shelter. And if he wanted to kill you, he could have done that before. And at any rate, it’s too late to do anything about it now. He knows you’re alone and there’s nowhere you can run to before the snow freezes your limbs. “Is it good?” You ponder. Settling back down onto the sofa, you just watch him eat. He’s grabbed a second helping.
༯ This example is actually not the final product. It was my first draft where wolf hybrid!toji is eating and conversing with a woman/y/n he has found himself stuck with during a snow storm.
༯ I thought it awkward in showing that he's eating. Sure, it could seem like he's eating really fast but it felt unrealistically fast, even given the context so I knew I wanted to fill in the space.
༯ Instead of talking on and on about how he's eating, I chose to dedicate this section with y/n's thoughts.
༯ One, descriptions of someone eating gets boring very fast
༯ Two, it would be extremely unrealistic for reader to just accept that this man will be staying with her with just one paragraph of thinking.
༯ Three, the concept of being hybrid needed to consistently matter in the story. So I chose to fill the details with exposition on that aspect of the story
Here is the final product:
“Well, you should still afford me the decency of leaving my home when asked.” “Your home? Didn’t know the old lady gave it away.” You gulp, clutching the thick blanket even tighter. “You knew my grandmother?” He grunts. Well aware you really ought to kick him out, you’re ashamed at the realisation that you can’t bring yourself to. It’s awfully terrible outside and there’s no doubt the elements would claim him if he he’s left out with no shelter. Though, that really shouldn’t be your responsibility and there is still, of course, the glaring concern of his ability to kill you. One sweep of his figure and you know this towering man, tall and muscular, could snap your neck with one hand. Or worse. Not to mention, he’s a hybrid. You can tell by the twitching of his ears and his nose, like he’s hearing and smelling things inscrutable by the human senses. You wonder what he is. He has no triangular ears or fluffy tail like a dog, he doesn’t have eyes like a cat, no scales that you can see, but his teeth, when he scrapes them along the spoon, you know they’re much sharper than you’d like to ever find out. If he wanted to kill you, he could have done that before. And at any rate, it’s too late to do anything about it now. He knows you’re alone and there’s nowhere you can run to before the snow freezes your limbs. Settling back down onto the sofa, you just watch him eat. He’s grabbed a second helping, enjoying the meat more than the potatoes and carrots in there but that’s expected of a man. It does mean, though, that he’s not a herbivore hybrid. You wonder if he likes the taste of a woman’s flesh. “Is it good?” You ponder.
༯ Hopefully, in this example you can get a sense of how 'rambling' can be useful in delivering specific effects.
༯ Note: too much dialogue can be bad. We need description and details to fill up the mind. Don't be afraid to give the details you'd like to give if you think it's important.
༯ Alternatively, not enough dialogue can also be bad. Too many thick paragraphs can disengage a reader and many people look forward to dialogue because it's much easier to process than chunks of information.
Other advice!
Paragraph structure
༯ Vary your paragraphs with one sentences and longer sections. Having too many thick paragraphs can be quite boring. Apart from aesthetics, these different length sections can provide a function.
Example: Lying To Himself
The guys at work know better than to open their fat mouths around him when he turns up with an extra wrinkle and a ticking in his jaw. Toji is somehow even more sadistic and violent and eager for blood. Even finally accepts their invitation to go out for drinks and drowns himself in the extra strong shit. Assuming he just woke up on the wrong side of the bed, they don’t question his sour mood. But what they don’t know is that you texted, just a day before you’re set to come back, to let him know you’re staying another week. Fucking texted. Didn’t even get to hear it from your own voice.
༯ Longer paragraphs can cluster all these actions, detailing the things Toji has gotten up to and summarising how an unspecified time has passed. By condensing his days into one decently sized paragraph, a reader can gain the sense that his days have been monotonous and repetitive without even needing to read every part of it.
༯ The short, two word line is impactful and has been separated from the paragraph before it to deliver the punchiness. Here, Toji is angry. You can get this a) from the swear word but also from b) the fact that it's a two word sentence.
༯ It mimics the way one would grit out as they repeat information they dislike. Readers can very easily picture his face and his mental/emotional state just from two words.
༯ Another thing is to vary your paragraph openings.
A bad example:
He walked up to me, upset and clearly with choice words to deliver. No one else in the diner spared him a second glance. But I have no choice. I'm shaking with fear. He looks ready to punch me. The way his hand is balled into a fist is damn near pushing me to piss my pants. Surely, he wouldn't hit me here, right? There are witnesses. It would be stupid.
A better variation of this:
Walking up to me, upset and clearly with choice words to deliver, no one else in the diner spares him a second glance. But I have no choice. Fear shakes me from within. He looks ready to punch me. Hand balled into a fist, I'm damn near pushed to the edge of pissing my pants. Surely, he wouldn't hit me here, right? Witnesses are around us. Stupid. It would be stupid. Right?
༯ Words like he/she/they/the/it/then are overused sentence openers. They are perfectly fine to use, of course. I am not saying avoid them altogether.
༯ What I am saying, however, is change it up to make it interesting.
༯ Begin a sentence with an action verb like walking rather than simply 'he walked.'
Punctuations
༯ Try to use semi-colons, colons and dashes but read up on how to use them correctly. It's easily Googled. It's not a major issue, it's just a way of varying your writing and making it more interesting.
༯ When using quotation marks, commas and full-stops go before the quotation.
Like so:
"Pick me. Choose me. Love me."
"I love you," she confessed.
Quivering, he asks, "Do you hate me?"
༯ Again, not major issues, but just for cleanliness.
How to fix up these typos and messiness
༯ I write in my Notes app first and then I paste my work in Word just to see the blue and red underlines. It allows me to visualise where there are mistakes so that I don't have to read every word with great focus, I can just skim as I proofread
༯ You can also use things like Grammarly, though I generally wouldn't want to encourage you to use AI to edit your work for you. It's just an option if you need it.
༯ The best trick is to just learn how to follow these rules to do with syntax and language. Watch tutorials online and when reading works online or books, think critically about how things are formatted.
༯ This leads me to my next and final advice in this part
How get better generally
༯ Read more!
༯ But don't just absentmindedly consume media, engage critically.
༯ Ask yourself these questions:
What is it about this piece of work that you like?
What's the style of writing the author has chosen? Is that their general style or have they chosen something specific for this work?
Why is this work more popular than another?
How do their sentences begin?
Is the writing full of prose?
Is it too much prose for my liking?
Oh, there's a particular bit that made me feel scared and uncomfortable, how did they do that? Is it their sentence structure? The adjectives they chose? Is it the build up of tension? If it's the tension, how did they achieve that in the previous paragraphs?
That made me giggle, how did they manage to be so funny?
Is that how I would have written it? If I had done it my way, would the impact still have been the same?
What if I try writing in their style?
Final disclaimers!
༯ You don't have to follow all of this or even any of this. Just having read this and reflected on your writing is a great place to start. If you know who you are as a writer, then you'll be much better placed to express your ideas
༯ Writing is a journey. Most people will look back on their beginning and think damn I was so bad at writing. But that's just a great way of knowing you've come far.
༯ There is no wrong or right way to write, no matter what people say. Even if you write unconventionally and make lots of typos and errors, there might still be many people who enjoy your works.
༯ Don't try to be someone else. It sounds cheesy to say be yourself, but it's true. We need more diversity in writing. My favourite works, the ones who left a mark on me, who shaped me, are all so different from each other.
༯ Don't be afraid to experiment and try something new. Find yourself however it takes.
༯ If you're writing on here or a similar platform, you'll be opening yourself to being perceived. Establish your boundaries from the start. Are you open to feedback? It's completely fine if you are not. Some people aren't here to 'get better,' they're just here to have fun.
༯ And if you are open to feedback, it's absolutely okay to feel upset by what you hear/read. Just remember that a lot of these critiques are founded on preferences and some critics might have just misunderstood your works. There is no supreme authority on right and wrong here. No one knows everything. No one is perfect.
If you have any questions, things you'd like covered in a next part, please share them. Thank you to everyone who contributed to this by asking questions and being candid about their struggles.
I hope this helped and I wish everyone the very best in their writing journey
Happy writing!
If you're a writer you're supposed to write a lot of bullshit. It's part of the gig. You have to write a lot of absolute garbage in order to get to the good bits. Every once in a while you'll be like "Oh, I wish I hadn't wasted all that time writing bullshit," but that's dumb. That's exactly the same as an Olympic runner being like "Oh, I wish I hadn't wasted all that time running all those practice laps"
A couple of years ago, I wrote a post during NaNoWriMo titled “Make Your Deaths Mean Something.” It’s the most popular post I’ve ever written (on this blog or any of my other blogs) and I was looking at it the other day and decided it was time to look at the other side of the discussion. You need to get your act together and kill your character.
I’m probably the worst person to write about killing off characters since it’s not something I do often in my own writing, but I think my perspective can help you and maybe help my own writing as well. So let’s talk about the benefits of a good death in your narrative.
Killing a character can start a story
This is a bit of a cheat, but I can’t resist using it. In the Princess Bride, we meet Inigo Montoya. (I know this isn’t a story about Inigo alone, but stick with me here.)
When he is a small child, Inigo’s father is killed by a mysterious man with six fingers on his right hand. Inigo swears vengeance and dedicates his life to learning the art of sword fighting. If the Princess Bride were just about Inigo, then this would be the start of the book/movie.
A better example might be found in The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman. (Hope you don’t mind the reference @neil-gaiman.) In that story, a shadowy figure enters a house to kill everyone inside. His quest is successful, except for the youngest member of the family. This small child manages to crawl out of the house and finds his way to the cemetery where is adopted by the ghosts that live there. This is also the beginning of his quest for vengeance.
Killing your character can advance the story
Were you one of the people that were upset when Dumbledore died? I don’t get that. Dumbledore’s death made the story that much better. Until that moment in the series, Harry treated the head of Hogwarts like a crutch. Dumbledore had all the answers and explained every important plot point. (And stole Harry’s candy, but only that one time that we know of for sure.)
It was the death of Dumbledore that made Harry realize that he needed to strike out on his own and take an active approach to fighting Voldemort instead of just hiding out in “safe houses.” (Remember those Dementors? Feels quite safe doesn’t it?)
Another good example is Luke Skywalker in A New Hope. If his aunt and uncle hadn’t been wiped out, in the search for R2D2 and C2PO, he might not have left his home planet with Obi Wan. Where would Star Wars be then?
Remind people that your story is similar to reality (even if it isn’t completely true)
Even in the most unusual of tales, we need to have a way to connect to the reality around us. Without some form of connection, your readers won’t be able to get into the story.
Consider Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass by Lewis Carrol. (Keep in mind that they are very different stories and worlds.) Carrol manages to create bizarre worlds with a narrative flow that can be confusing to many readers. So why is this story embraced by so many readers, writers, directors, and producers?
It’s because there’s something in these books that people can connect to. We all know someone like the Red Queen, full of bluster and shouting. We’ve dealt with an overly educated egghead like Humpty Dumpty. Regardless of the bizarre natures of the characters, they are familiar to us.
Oh yeah, death- so the point I’m trying to make is that death is a thing that happens and having a death in your story can bring your narrative back to reality, at least for a moment or two.
Change the character dynamics
Let’s say you have a group of characters you have been working with. There is a group dynamic that they share. What happens when one of those characters is gone from the group? That changes who the group is and how they relate to each other.
This happens frequently with television shows. Let’s consider Buffy the Vampire Slayer. How many romantic interests does Miss Summers have that die to create a change in the story. (and it’s not just Buffy that has this happen-not Tara!) When not overused, this can be an important way to address issues tht are often associated with dying. (brevity of life, mortality, unfairness, injustice, etc)
Give your story some extra meaning
Be careful with this one. You can’t just kill a character and then expect it to mean something. Death is a thing that happens and it is meaningful, but it doesn’t mean as much if you don’t know the person. Consider the difference between the following scenes.
Rebecca looked at her watch and then looked up the tunnel. She was going to be late. Where was her train? The familiar change in pressure signaled the arrival of another train. She heard a shout and turned towards the sound in time to see a tall lanky many dressed in an baggy suit step off the platform in fall in front of the train.
now this one
Kelly looked at her watch and looked up the tunnel. He was going to miss the train. She’d been waiting here for ten minutes now and her brother still hadn’t shown up. She heard a shout and turned to see what was happening. It was her brother running towards her. She ran to meet him, but the crowd was moving forward as the train approached. Brian was pushed forward by the crowd until he was at the edge of the platform. she watched as he lost his footing and fell in front of the train.
Now this was a bit of a cheat since we really don’t know much about either Kelly or Rebecca, but hopefully you get the point. The first death is a complete stranger to the character and so there is less meaning to it, but we can attach some meaning to the death of Kelly’s brother right away.
Add a sense of immediacy
Your character(s) have a goal to accomplish, or they had better have one. Even in the most dire of situations, you might get complacent and get distracted by non essential concerns. Sometimes the death of an important character in the story can motivate the remaining characters to get back on track.
Consider the graphic novel, Watchmen, (or the movie if you missed out on the GN) Almost all of the vigilantes have given up on their quest to fight crime after all the complications of the politics of vigilantism. It is the death of the Comedian that causes them to don their masks anew and search for the answers they have been ignoring. There is a sense of need that was missing from their lives before now.
Show they mean business
So far we have only talked about deaths that impact the story line because they are a point against your main character, but what about your character trying to prove a point? We haven’t thought about that have we? There’s no reason your character has to be such a goody two shoes that they can’t use death to make a point of their own, right?
Let’s look to comic books again for this one. Consider some of comic’s most popular antiheroes (I’m thinking the likes of Wolverine, the Punisher, and Deadpool to name a few.) They take the initiative to make their point and intentions clear with the use of a death or two if they have to, and sometimes even if they don’t.
Wrap up
We could go on forever with this topic, but I think that’s enough for now. Hopefuly this will give you some motivation to go out there and kills some characters. As always, let us know if you have any other questions.