I Love You, And I Know I Will Not Regret It.

I have never fallen so in love with anyone until I met you. I have never fallen so in love with the look of passion in your eyes when you look at me from across a room full of people. I have never fallen so in love with they way someone someone holds me until I met you. I have never fallen in love before I met you.

You make my heart hurt

Misery is knowing that I'm always going to be your second choice. Because there is always someone better than me.

It's fine since I'm used to it now

I still fake my smiles, but around you I feel as if I don’t need to.

My wounds start to heal around you

I thought I knew what love was.  Love was sitting in my health class sophomore year. Love wouldn't date me until one of us could drive a car. Love played lacrosse and was a goalie, we bonded over that. Then college came 2 years later, and love left as quickly as it came.  Love became constant fights about pointless things. Love became jealous and controlling. Love ended at roughly 11:30 pm on a Tuesday night. Turns out I didn't know what love was. A month later, love's ugly cousin loneliness came in disguised as love. Loneliness was a scrawny blonde who tried to be "country". Loneliness couldn't play sports, but I was okay with that as long as I wasn't alone. Loneliness became an on and off relationship that I couldn't let go of because it had love's fond embrace. I used loneliness as an excuse to date. Loneliness left on Mother's Day around 11:30 AM, and I went to the store because I didn't know why I was so sad that loneliness, the one I had been begging myself to leave, was gone. Turns out, love also went to the store that day. Love had also just gotten out of a long term relationship. Love had texted me a few days prior to make fun of me because that was what love had done when we were friends in the past. This love was different than the love that sat in sophomore year health class. This love was sporadic 45 minute conversations in the most random places. This love popped up when I needed it the most at any point in my life. This love accepted me for who I am. Love has a fast car, and a motorcycle. Love knows I like to play with my hair. Love knows I don't get out much, but love is ok with that because he brings me to the most beautiful places. But between you and me, I don't care where this love takes me, because, I know what love is, and he treats me the right way and has the most beautiful hazel eyes and the cutest dimples I've ever seen. I know what love is because he sleeps next to me (almost) every night. I know what love is and he is the most authentic man I have ever met.

Love is in my thoughts 

You told me that you see me in your future. I can say the same thing. But the truth is, even with all this certainty in the air between us, I can't help but be scared that someone could tear us apart. And what the future was supposed to be won't be anymore.

I will always see you

Blue and Green for the writing asks (:

Blue: What’s more important to you: characters or plot?

I love making characters, sometimes I get so excited about OC’s that I don’t even think about the plot before I start writing. Still, I try and have some sort of plot. In short, characters are more important to me.

Green: Pencil, typewriter, or computer?

I’m between pencil or computer. I love typing but I also love the freedom of writing. 

It's fine. I'm used to being alone.

2 am Thoughts

How do you love someone who won’t love you back? Easy. You suffer in silence and pray for something to stop the pain. Whether or not it is the person you love is completely up to circumstance. But I can’t say I’d take love from someone else over the bullet to heart that you so easily gave to me.

From the bottom of my (not yet dead) heart

If you ever wonder how much I love you, remember that I started to cry when we talked about what would happened if we lost each other to death or someone else. And you walked out to your car, you had to hug me close and wipe away my tears, because you brought up how you’d play our stuffed dog until it broke because it said ‘I love you’ in both of our voices.

That’s how much I love you

I thought this type of love could only happen in the books. Where the girl finds the guy of her dreams and everything falls into place. I wish I could experience what it’s like to fall for you again, because it was perfect in every sense amd every book would die to know how it was written.